PUTTING THE CAKE ON THE ICING OF ‘LENOXOLOGY’ IN LENOXYMORONIA, AND OTHER WEEKEND ADVENTURES … plus … PLANET NEEDS A FEW GOOD WRITERS FOR SUMMER COVERAGE
By DAN VALENTI
PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary
(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FRIDAY, APRIL 27, 2012) — My, but how we have kicked the hornet’s nest known as Lenox. Actually, wording it properly, we should say we have kicked the hornet’s neXt in the Town Formerly Know As Lenox. We say “next” because there is more to come. Read on, fellow fellow explorers of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
As for “Lenoxology” being old news, it is. So is the ripoff of taxpayers. And let’s add this: “Lenoxology” will not be a success or a failure. The tourists will come to Lenox or not come independent of the campaign. Those who know of Lenox know. Those who don’t know haven’t been paying attention, nor will they now. Point is, when the numbers are up this season (inevitable, given the lousy numbers last summer), it will be proof positive that the taxpayers spent $56,000 for n-o-t-h-i-n-g.
Face the truth. That’s all we’re saying.
Welcome to Lenoxymoronica
Today, we know the town as Lenoxymoronica. (Fanfare … trumpets … flags … the king’s guard … for a town is renamed!!).
The poor town can’t of late can’t get out of its own way. In this manner,Lenoxymoronica hath run over itself, which is the action equivalent of performing an anatomical impossibility on one’s own body, so pithily phrased in the familiar greeting, “Go f— yourself.”
We ourselves, of course, would never stoop to language of that sort. We don’t clean out such gutters. THE PLANET merely acknowledges that the imperative sentence comes readily to mind when we hear the pathetic bleating of the apologists for “Lenoxology.” These are the geniuses who did not think a local agency could do the town justice. Funny stuff, since we have one of the top outfits anywhere doing business on Main Street in Lenox. We refer to Winstanley & Associates. There are also other worthy agencies in the area.
THE PLANET understands, of course, that in the hardball world of PR/ad/marketing, the agency business gets as competitive as Al Pacino arm wresting Joe Pesci. Agencies make pitches for business every day, and they often fail to land the account. That’s show biz. However, after one witnessed what Lenoxymoronica got for its $56,000 in taxpayer money — “Lenoxology” — we can only join the chorus of those shaking their heads in … in what, exactly? Outrage? Shame? Embarrassment? Try “all of the above.”
Town officials and anyone who supports this trivialization of a once-great little town have richly deserved the public spanking we have administered. The People have been overwhelmingly in agreement with THE PLANET on this issue. The apologists, having the unenviable task of defending the indefensible, have turned to the “attack the messenger” defense. As anyone knows with any debate experience, and we have plenty, that’s one of the arguments that is the counterfeit of reasoning. When the other side resorts to that, tt always — and few things in life are “always” — indicates your side has won.
As we have flushed them out in the past few days, the defenders of “Lenoxology” have shwon themselves to be captives of their blindness and pride. That’s a deadly combination. It doesn’t bode well for the future of Lenoxymoronica.
The Reviews are In: We The People Can’t Stand ‘Lenoxology’
Here’s a small sampling of “other” comments about the brilliance of the officials responsible for the boondoggle:
Everyone on that Lenox Marketing board should gather in the middle of Main St. They should look North, South, East and West and when they finish, look at each other and say “What the heck is in Lenox that we could possibly sell to outsiders?” and “Why are we calling ourselves “Historic Lenox?” First, anything that is there is so overpriced that only the rich could afford to visit more than one store. The locals know it and shop there only when necessary. And second the only things historic that are open to peruse are so far off the path that you can hardly say they’re in Lenox. Any one the board convinces to visit Lenox will be like the Tanglewood visitors, instead of walking around waiting for the concert to start, they’ll be walking around waiting to get the heck out of there. Frankly the board is just full of whining merchants that really could care less about Lenox and care more about $$. Lee and Dalton have much more to offer than Lenox but their pimp is not the Boring Broadsheet, so no publicity.
—– 00 —–
Lenox is no longer a lovely Berkshire village. It is a New York suburb, full of nasty people who think they are better than everyone else. This was very evident [last Christmas]. I had visitors from out of state who went shopping in Lenox. The shopkeeper, upon finding out we were local,gave us a handbill advertising Santa arriving at Lilac Park via fire truck. When asked why it wasn’t more widely advertised, the response was: “We want to keep out the Pittsfield riffraff.” Need I say more? I live in Lenox. My family is the fourth generation to do so. Needless to say, I was terribly embarrassed over these comments. Lenoxology???? Sounds like a disease.
—– 00 —–
I hear that there is a secret swingers/swappers club in that village of Lenoxlobotomy.
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Lenoxology = Greg Federspiel giving 56K to NY swindlers.
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I guess local marketing firms aren’t good enough for the Lenox “millionaires.” They have turned a lovely old town into a tourist trap. That unfortunately also traps folks who actually live in Lenox.
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Often, when “unknowns” are brought in to help out there is a kickback scheme hiding in the shadows. It is a common political ruse these days, used as cover for white collar crime.
—– 00 —–
Dunderheadness of Herculean Dimensions
As you can see from the response to THE PLANET as well as this sampling of comments posted elsewhere, “Lenoxology” was dead on arrival. The conspirators involved in this Guffaw — dunderheadness of an Herculean dimension — had good reason not to involve We The People or listen to their advice when they slammed their handiwork. Kickbacks? We have no evidence of same. On the other hand, we have no proof that the K-word hasn’t been part of the deal all along. we have none whatsoever, either way.
In a sense, THE PLANET would derive more comfort if it turned out that there was Big Dig-type Funny Business going on with “Lenoxology.” It’s like one can understand when a run-of-the-mill spy sells info for stinking money. When one sells because of zealotry or ideology, now that’s disturbing. At least the stubbornness of its progenitors would have a reasonable explanation, for who cannot understand simple human greed. ‘Tis a temptation that has caught an endless supply of officials, businesspeople, and others placed in positions of trust going back to the beginning of time.
We have been glad to provoke this much-needed discussion, while the town stands on the cusp of another election.
WRITERS WANTED FOR FUN, FAME, AND FULFILLMENT
THE PLANET is gearing up for another summer in the Beautiful Berkshires. We haven’t fully decided on any changes in coverage, but at this stage, we intend to present some arts and sports coverage.
BTF, Barrington Stage, Jacobs Pillow, Tanglewood, Pittsfield Suns baseball, and much more might be waiting for you.
With that said, can you write? If so, and you have an interest and expertise in any phase of the arts (music, dance, theater, painting, sculpture, etc.) or sports (particularly baseball), THE PLANET would like to hear from you.
If you cover for us this summer, you will become an official, card-carrying press member of the region’s most dynamic and fastest-growing website — the site most everyone who’s anyone MUST check in with each day to see “what in the world will he say next?” If you are stout of heart, full of life, and take your figurative morning java straight up and black, we might have a spot for you.
Send us your CV with a sample or two, plus a brief letter stating your interests. We can offer:
* Presses passes to the venue(s) that you cover
* A byline and valuable clips for your portfolio
* Wide exposure
* And tons of fulfillment, fun, fame, and fabulousness.
Send your C.V. etc. (hard copy only — nothing electronic on first contact) to Dan Valenti, Europolis Management, P. O. Box 1268, Stockbridge, MA 01262. Be sure to include your mailing address (post and e-mail) and phone. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY.
WEEKENDS ARE MADE FOR THIS, AND WE INTEND TO EXPLORE EVERY DROP IN THE FORTHCOMING SUNRISES. HAVE A GOOD ONE!
“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”
LOVE TO ALL.