By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, DEC. 16, 2014) — When Mayor Dan Bianchi began the arduous task of trying to sell — who, exactly, since it was a Done Deal? — the questionable move of transporting city hall offices to 100 North St., he used as an example of permitting the innumerable film production companies stampeding into Pittsfield looking to remake Citizen Kane and Spartacus.

The mayor’s remark about Pittsfield as the New Hollywood brought guffaws, smirks, and ridicule. ACtually, there are no A-list (or B- or C-) film companies wanting a part of Pittsfield. THE PLANET knows you’re shocked … shocked. Perhaps he was thinking of DV-TV Productions, which used city hall itself as our studio when we filmed Beauty and The Generalissimo in the city clerk’s office.

THE PLANET couldn’t resist the celluloid invitation, of course, and we went to work, obtaining on-the-sly from city permitting sources the list of films that producers were looking to make in and about the City of Pittsfield. We first shared this list on PLANET VALENTI TELEVISION, to the usual hoots and hollers.

After hearing about the difficulties and confusion that permit-seekers have run into after 100Gate (it appears the move made the permit process more difficult and confusing), we need to share the secret list  with PLANET readers and viewers.

Here is the list of films companies wanted to make in Pittsfield:

* Gone With the Windbags

* Town Without Pity

* Raging Bull(shit)

* Casabianchi

* One Flew Over the Cronies Nest

* The Wizard of Fraud

* It’s a Blunderful Life

* Midnight Cryboy

* The Stench Connection

* Raiders of the Lost Pork

* Bianchi on the Bounty

* Withering Heights (documentary of 100 N. St.)

* Bianchi Doodle Dandy

* 100 North St.: A Space Idiocy

* A Clockwork Connell

* Treasure of Sierra Mazzeo

* Live in Concert: Jethro Tully

* Full Metal Jackoff

* Caccamo Shack

* The Buddy Snatchers

* A Fistful of Dollars

* Abbott and Costello Meet Morandi

* Dr. J-LO and Mr. Hide

* Krol and Kroller

* Simonelli of the Baskervilles

* Barry Me Not at Wounded Knee

* Where Did You Come From, Where Did You Go, Cotton-Eyed Church?

* Bewitched, Bothered, and Bianchi

* Maybe I’m Amusoed

Look for updates come Oscar time.

————————————————————————————————-

The Mayoral Long and Short List

Speaking of lists, if you look at recent Pittsfield mayoral history — say, from the early ’80s and onward — you find an eclectic grouping of individuals with a kaleidoscopic range of backgrounds and professions. The earlier we venture into the historical list, the more we find “Individuals” who brought a unique stamp of style and personality onto the office. Once we hit the early ’90s, we individualism replaced by a corporate mentality influenced by a cabal THE PLANET refers to as The Suits. Other names for the cabal include The GOB, The Vested Interests, and The Special Interests, and — simply — “Them”

With that in mind, here’s the long, gray line:

Late 1970s-1980s

Paul Brindle, occupation, bar and grille owner.

Charlie Smith, occupation, construction workers.

Anne Wotjkowski, college professor.

1990s

Ed Reilly, lawyer.

Gerry Doyle, employee of gas company.

2000s

Sara Hathaway, legislative aide and policy wonk.

Jimmy Ruberto, private-sector CEO.

Dan Bianchi, salesman.

——– 000 ——–

If Dan Valenti were to run for mayor, for which some have clamored, we would have a writer and artist. If Craig Gaetani runs for mayor, for which some are clamoring, we would have a scientist and physicist. Both men would be intelligent NON-politicians sans agenda, out of the reach and control of The Suits.

As of this writing, that’s the type of candidate who represents the best chance for Pittsfield to turn around a “politics as usual” death march leading the city inevitably, inexorably toward financial ruin via uncontrolled government spending, rising debt obligations, a falling population, a minimum-wage service economy, and a shrinking tax base. Lame, tame “game” players afraid of confrontation and hurting people’s “feelings” won’t cut it.

—————————————————————————————————-

 “Instant pleasure, all around. Let love be your treasure, all around. / Yeah, instant healing all around. Trust your feelings, all around. / Hooray for you, you live in a zoo! Hooray for me! I am free!” — Mick Valenti, “Instant Pleasure,” from his album Beatlesque, (2011).

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.