TWO MORE WALK PLANK AS ICEBERG HEADS STRAIGHT TOWARD TYER-HELMED ‘S.S. PITTSFIELD,’ BUT NOT TO WORRY. WE HAVE BILL BELICHICK. WE HAVE TOM BRADY.
BY DAN VALENTI
PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY
(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY FEB. 14, 2017) — If you think THE PLANET is going to shamelessly milk and rehash the astounding win by the New England Patriots in Super Bowl 51, you’re right. We can’t get enough a game all sorts of “experts” are calling the greatest ever played.
We deemed it better than to hash what we know about the firings … er … “resignations” of Bruce Collingwood (public utilities) and Janis Ackerstrom (Department of Community Development). For the record, Mayor Linda Tyer and her office haven’t confirmed or denied C&A are gone, hiding behind the “it’s a personnel matter” loin cloth. You The People, constitutionally empowered, only own local goverment. You only pay the bills. You only get golden showers from the dolts, dunces, and derelicts of appointed and elected office. What makes you think Tyer or Pretty Boy Mr. Council VP (that would be one John “Korral” Krol, who is to The Ordinary Citizen what the razor points of a coral reef are to the bottom of an un-sandaled foot) owe you more than that?
Krol told The Brattleboro Reformer he supported the mayor’s decision. Again, he doesn’t trust his constituents enough to explain the factors concerning the firings — and they were firings — that would warrant the issuance of that trust. Keep in mind that neither Tyer, Korral, nor most other members of city government including the school committee care a rat’s boom-boom about you, Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski.
Korral implies the moves were made for financial reasons: “I look forward to seeing what this means for the upcoming budget and adjustments that Mayor Tyer may be making for the upcoming fiscal year.”
If indeed the moves were made to drive cost out of government, great. The nsay that. Such a position is defensible — although one would immediately have to question why the hits continue to come from city side (stomach bloated, ribs sticking out) rather than school side (where fatted rolls of skin blubber down into crevices where hides the flatulent jam of lethargy and administrative incompetence).
Ah, but enough. THE PLANET, best muckraker of them all, is sick of the muck. Let’s go to the meaninglessness consequentiality of sports.
This is fromour colleague Adam Schein, media columnist for NFL.com.
1) Tom Brady
Brady owns the playoffs and big games. But Sunday night’s effort was the next level of the highest level. While earning his record-setting fourth Super Bowl MVP, Brady passed for a Super Bowl-record 466 yards. But obviously, the story is the epic comeback Brady authored. Atlanta took a 28-3 lead with 8:31 remaining in the third quarter. Here is what Brady did from that point on:
26 of 33 for 284 yards and two touchdowns (against zero picks) — good for a 122.7 quarterback rating. Oh, and for good measure, he converted a key third-and-8 with a 15-yard scramble.
Yep, that’s how you spark the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. Never hate. Always appreciate watching the best to ever do it — and I’m not just talking about quarterbacking here.
Tom Brady is the best football player to ever play the game. We’re beyond best quarterback ever. Nobody has enjoyed a more decorated career. Sorry, Jerry Rice.
2) Bill Belichick
Like with Brady, I’ve argued for years that Belichick is the best to ever do what he does. Thus, Sunday’s outcome didn’t matter on that front. Regardless of the outcome, I always would’ve come out of that game thinking the same thing: Bill Belichick is the best coach in football history.
But Sunday’s comeback win for the ages solidifies this statement: Bill Belichick is the best coach in sports history.
Five titles = rarefied air. Factor in two more last-minute Super Bowl defeats — as well as two more Super Bowl wins as defensive coordinator of the New York Giants — and this guy has spent an extraordinary amount of time at or near the top of the mountain.
To me, what sets Belichick’s next-level greatness apart is the maintained domination in a salary-cap league hell-bent on fostering competitive balance. Belichick’s Patriots have won eight straight division titles (13 of the past 14) and participated in the past six AFC title games. These are feats that will never be duplicated in NFL history. It speaks to Belichick’s coaching and preparation. Consider how things transpired in New England this year: Brady missed the first four games of the season due to suspension (a wrongful suspension, if you ask me), Pro Bowl linebacker Jamie Collins was traded in late October and Rob Gronkowski went on injured reserve in early December. The season’s result: The Patriots go 14-2 and win the Super Bowl.
Belichick’s the best ever. In any sport.
——– 000 ——–
Linda Tyer just gave Covanta, a private, for-profit company, well more than half a million of your money, Mr. and Mrs. Kapanski. With that, she wants to tax you more for your garbage, even though you already pay for trash removal in your highest-in-the-state taxes. The internal workings of her governmental machine are in chaos. Mickey Mouse is jumping ship. A big ol’ iceberg is heading toward her ship of state. Ah, but what is that? THE PLANET won’t dwell there.
We have Tom Brady.
We have Bill Belichick.
We have what Sports illustrated, The NFL Network, The Sporting News, ESPN, and pals call the greatest dynasty in NFL history.
And remember, you can’t spell “Valentine” without “Valenti.” Have a happy, all lovers, everywhere.
“They say ‘don’t worry.’ How do you ‘dont?'” — Sir Tiberius Fruitjuice.
“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”
LOVE TO ALL.
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