(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 13, 2017) — Don’t worry about Snowmageddon slated to hit tomorrow. IT won’t happen. Mark these prophetic words. THE PLANET knows weather. That won’t  stop the Pittsfield School Department to switch to panic mode.

Let’s see … Today JIV had to close PHS because of a pipe leak. The young scholars under the Dome consequently got a purple-and-white jump on the rest of the learning factories in the woebegone system. All Pittsfield schools will surely shut down Tuesday and Wednesday because of the three or so snowflakes hovering over Silver Lake. Normally, as in the rest of the civilized world, missing that much class time would set education back to New York Avenue. This is Pittsfield, however, one of the few places where kids learn more by not attending school, a severe case of addition by subtraction.

This is Pittsfield, where words don’t necessarily mean what they mean elsewhere, say, in Syracuse, Schenectady, or Winter Haven. For example, consider the lovely sign hawking the BIC — The Berkshire Innovation Center. It’s a study poster, crafted by an agency or sign company probably owned by Thirsty’s brother-in-law. The board tells us that the BIC is “Coming Soon.”

Ordinarily “Coming Soon” means “a duration of time that will arrive momentarily. In Pittsfield, “soon” can be defined as “a nebulous, non-specified duration with no known arrival date.” The sign has only been standing on the northern side of East Street near the Woodlawn Avenue Extension forever. The world’s oldest photograph, taken in 1832 by Dagmar “Dagger” O’Type, a drunk, one-eyed Irishman out of County Cork, Killwangen, shows that little hill. The BIC was “Coming Soon,” even back then.

The lesson in all this, if you insist the be one, is never make a snowman that looks like JIV. If you do, BIC signs will forever prevent the return of lime Rickey’s at Liggett’s Drug Store on North Street. That should be eminently clear. This is Pittsfield, land of The Permanent Temporality.

Yesterday Al Ziter. Today “Coming Soon.”


“What, me worry?” — Alfred E. Neuman



The usual disclaimer last published in The Weekend Edition, March 10-12, 2017.

39 Responses to “SNOW, JIV, AND ‘COMING SOON’”

  1. mi
    March 12, 2017 at 9:01 pm #

    I wonder if JIV calls himself during a snow day?

  2. The School Committee
    March 13, 2017 at 1:23 am #

    PHS is a dump and Will be kept open by Kathy Yon.There is no 5 year plan for schools under mayor Tyer and th hat is why we are spending 125 million on a new high school that cant hold 1500 students.This guarantees spending at least another 125 million building a new PHS because we can’t rehab old PHS.The lack of planning for the future of schools in Pittsfield will cost 80 year old poor pittsfield taxpayers their homes and the blame goes to the previous council and Yon Kroll Amuso White Clairmont Tyer Ward Caccamo Elias curtis Mccandless……South berkshire schools will be open according to the planet

    • Question Markey
      March 13, 2017 at 5:27 am #

      SC: The Eagle’s article on middle school heroin education, quotes a Meagan Ireland, ” The 21st Century Learning Centers Coordinator of Pittsfield Public Schools”. Is this a full time paid position ? Does this title fit on her business card ? What does she do ?

      • Spider
        March 13, 2017 at 6:22 am #

        And more importantly – What is her salary?

      • LoneGunMan
        March 13, 2017 at 10:20 am #

        We need to hire a full time teacher to tell kids that Heroin get you addicted, ruin your life and probably kill you? We have failed these past generations as parents if that’s the case.

        Then again it’s a disease that you catch, not something that is a consequence of shitty choices

  3. Spagirlfrommass
    March 13, 2017 at 3:11 am #

    I was just thinking the same thing when I drove by this sign on the weekend. Berkshire Innovation Center Coming Soon. Pittsfield is dying a very slow death.

  4. P Hewton
    March 13, 2017 at 4:35 am #

    Speaking of JIV, just wondering if the new SpotShotter technology would be effective in our Schools? That’s if it can be done?

  5. Pat
    March 13, 2017 at 4:47 am #

    At the very least, can somebody please take down the sign. It’s obvious that nothing is going to happen with BIC anytime soon.

    When not attending school, the kids at least get away from the liberal brainwashing of the school system which is one way of looking at the situation. That said, however, the kids spend more time away from school than ever. They get out earlier each day too than we ever did when attending school. Is it any wonder kids are struggling to pass their exams?

  6. Don't
    March 13, 2017 at 4:56 am #

    Is the F U sign still lingering?

    • Levitan
      March 14, 2017 at 12:21 pm #

      You mean the one at Dalton& Benedict? If so, yes. Why does City Hall tolerates it? Would take only five minutes to paint it out.

  7. LoneGunMan
    March 13, 2017 at 5:16 am #

    As much as I personally say kids/schools today are full of weasels and sissies when it comes to snow… I’d hate to drive a bus around this town on those roads if they aren’t sanded and plowed. Especially with the way most idiots are on the roads around here.

    Wednesday should be a 2 hour delay and nothing more if the city does it’s job

    • Thomas More
      March 13, 2017 at 6:27 am #

      It is indeed the buses. The decision has to be made around five A.M. in conjunction with the Police. If it could be avoided I’m sure the superintendent would not call off school.

  8. The School Committee
    March 13, 2017 at 5:43 am #

    I know of know liberal math classes being taught in the pittsfield schools.The entire public school system is being taught conservative goals .

  9. The School Committee
    March 13, 2017 at 5:45 am #

    Students are surrounded by closed minded ignorant people in their home environment and in the news.

  10. Harlan Rinklenutts
    March 13, 2017 at 5:56 am #

    The PEDA Director says PCB’s are still entering into Silver Lake. Anyone been to SIlver Lake? wasn’t that area improved with a walk path and seating? Who would go to that area if PCB’s are known to be in any body of water, let alone the history S L has. Cory keeps itching his head, he ought to have that checked out.

  11. Ghidora
    March 13, 2017 at 6:42 am #

    Q: When will the new Taconic start being neglected, in the same way the old Taconic was that led to its demise?
    A: The day after it opens.
    You can change the building but you can’t change the broken system that created the need for it in the first place.

    • Luce Ball
      March 13, 2017 at 8:48 am #

      We got a crew.

  12. EddieP
    March 13, 2017 at 9:47 am #

    What do you expect when you demolish a PCB laden building and bury it under a parking lot uphill from the lake. S**t flows downhill.

  13. P Hewton
    March 13, 2017 at 11:54 am #

    Snows coming Eddie,get your downhill shovel out. Tommorows will break the snow account bank for sure.

    • heh heh
      March 13, 2017 at 12:10 pm #

      Seems like when they cancel school they feel no need to get the plows out till they feel like it. there will be half foot before they even hit the mails. Look for it.

      • Thomas More
        March 13, 2017 at 12:39 pm #

        Dan has already told us that there will be no storm. Mark his prophetic words. However, school in Pittsfield has already been called off. Now we’ll see who’s the better prophet, Dan or Jake.

        • danvalenti
          March 13, 2017 at 7:59 pm #

          I’m the better prophet. JIV’s the better profit.

  14. H
    March 13, 2017 at 12:44 pm #

    Enen if it snows tomorrow I’ll go with Dan, chalk it up as an abberation.

  15. EddieP
    March 13, 2017 at 1:26 pm #

    One more thing, once that parking lot was paved over, it was never used, entrance was blocked off.

  16. NBI
    March 13, 2017 at 1:57 pm #

    The BIC sign is small potatoes in the land of Pittsfield Self Denial. This is the first sentence on residence page of the hot new City O Pitt website.

    “As the commercial center of the Berkshires, Pittsfield is the home of the world headquarters of SABIC Innovative Plastics…”

    Ah Houston, we have a problem! Better send them back up north.

    • danvalenti
      March 13, 2017 at 7:59 pm #

      Great find, NBI! The website, newly “designed,” is terrible.

  17. Bill Q
    March 13, 2017 at 2:05 pm #

    Missed that one?

  18. The School Committee
    March 13, 2017 at 2:09 pm #

    Taconic High will deteriorate from day 1.There are 6 men at Taconic and it is going to be 250 ,000 square feet needing 15 people tp keep it clean.Joe Curtis and Behnke do not want to pay for a clean student enviroment.Curtis wants to use that money for administrative raises and benefits.

    • danvalenti
      March 13, 2017 at 7:58 pm #

      They should do what Japan does. Require students to assist in maintenance and cleaning.

  19. The School Committee
    March 13, 2017 at 2:12 pm #

    The public schools are the doing of the conservative right wing .Ed reform is all conservative philosophy. People have been working this right wing crap for 24 years.

    • 12 Gauge
      March 13, 2017 at 3:52 pm #

      Time for your meds.

  20. The School Committee
    March 13, 2017 at 2:13 pm #

    Dan Valenti does not inject political thought at BCC.

  21. H
    March 13, 2017 at 2:20 pm #

    Humpty Trumpty’s Replacement Plan is getting Stonewalled
    Humpty Trumpty said Uninsured will not Fall
    All of Secretary Price and Budget Director Mullaney’s friends
    Couldn’t erase CBO claim14 million Americans
    Will be without Health Care Again

    • Pat
      March 13, 2017 at 4:20 pm #

      On the other hand Obamacare is falling apart and needs to be replaced with something. People need to hear all of the truth not part of it.

  22. Don t
    March 13, 2017 at 2:34 pm #

    The New Swamp will be able to afford it!

  23. Thomas More
    March 13, 2017 at 5:34 pm #

    Still hoping your right Dan! You know weather.

    • danvalenti
      March 13, 2017 at 7:57 pm #

      We do indeed, TM. The “snow” will be a prediction, change into a perception, and finally into a perplexion.

  24. Harlan Rinklenutts
    March 13, 2017 at 6:03 pm #

    Putin is Trumps Brother.