Article

DISAPPEARING INCUMBENT, CONCRETE SACKS, RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES ALL PART OF WARD 1 CORONATION

BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY NOV. 1, 2017) — Welcome to November, month of the Crab, month of the Sister. On Friday, THE PLANET‘s Weekend Edition, we shall present our take on the upcoming joke taking place on Tuesday. The joke is on taxpayers. They call it an “election.” City council president Peter “Fly Boy” Marchetti said it all in a recent forum when he told ordinary citizens to stay the heck out of public affairs and leave the mess to “the professionals.” Fly Boy’s definition of a political professional goes something like this: “n., a person of dubious character appointed to an office for the purpose of protecting the status quo for the Vested Interests.”

THE PLANET’s predictive review of what we call the freeze-dried election is not to be missed.

And now for a Pittsfield fairy tale. Keep reminding yourself this is a fairy tale, and fairy tales do not occur in real life. These are not real events.

Once upon a time …

This is an election conducted from a fetal position, a womb-to-tomb diaspora beautifully exemplified by the mystery and madness in Ward 1.Some things you just know. When Leo DeCaprio and Kate Winslett board the RMS Titanic, you know the great ship will hit an iceberg and sink. Similarly, you know that when a Suit-backed candidate puts up for a local “elective,” position, that person’s going to win. That win will come even if it several others have to be bumped off.

Ward 1 has been most recently spider-webbed by Lisa Tully. Rumor has it that Tully has been spotted in the ward no fewer that three or four times in the past two years. Not that she spends a lot of time elsewhere, but there must be a reason why the Florida state legislature has a bill before it naming Tully as the Sunshine State’s official bird. Normally, a word that can both never and always apply to Pittsfield politics, The Suits would have no problem with this kind of absence. This election, however, they want someone closer to hand. They have several high-ticket projects to jam through, and so it came to pass, informed sources say, that Tully “was told” to resign because of ill health: The Suits got sick of her.

The plan was to put up Ty Allen Jackson to carry the water in Ward 1. Jackson had the seat all but wrapped up, sources say, until he committed the Unpardonable Sin of independence. All of a sudden, TAJ faced a blackballing that, if carried out, would have been well out of sight and mind for the lame and tame Human Rights Commision. TAJ has worked hard over the years to worm his way into the good graces of The Lords and Masters, and he caught on right quick when he, too, got a glimpse of the concrete sacks.

Enter Helen Moon; as Asian and female, she’s twice the minority of TAJ. She comes to the position totally bought, and she’ll come up for sale whenever there’s slipper-fetching needed beside a vote The Suits need in Ward 1 or citywide. For the kind of tax-and-spend robbery committed routinely in Pittsfield against Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski, Moon is the sure thing.

To make the fix even more foolproof, Certain Someones contacted a poor chap named Mike Cirullo, who actually thought he would be able to oppose Moon for the Ward nod. Seems that after receiving and digesting the message, Cirullo had a religious experience. Suddenly and without notice, he withdrew from the race , never to be heard from again. Now the only way Moon can blow this is if None of the Above pulls the ballot shocker of all time.

That’s not going to happen. In fact, remember that because this is a fairy tale, NONE OF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Now with all that, can anyone out there guess why The Suits are paying such close attention to Ward 1? The answer lies in the stars, but also on the ground. The clues are all there for the observant. Hmmmm … what COULD it be?

———————————————————

“Oh! Carlos was teaching you to do the mambo. That makes a world of difference”Ralph Kramden.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Ususal Disclaimer.

55 Responses to “DISAPPEARING INCUMBENT, CONCRETE SACKS, RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES ALL PART OF WARD 1 CORONATION”

  1. None Of The Above
    November 1, 2017 at 8:38 am #

    I would love you write in vote for any elected office in Pittsfield. Please write “None Of The Above” in for school committee and please don’t check ant other candidate’s name. Let’s send them a message.

  2. Jonathan Melle
    November 1, 2017 at 10:32 am #

    Peter Marchetti and his merry band of “professional politicians” have run Pittsfield politics into the proverbial ditch!

  3. h
    November 1, 2017 at 10:41 am #

    Why even vote.Two candidates have bailed,the school committee has six. No oppo…wtf

    • Ed Check
      November 1, 2017 at 2:22 pm #

      Ward 1: Write in the Mike Cirullo guy if his name has been removed from the ballot. Send a message. Unfortunately, I am in a different ward.

      • None Of The Above
        November 1, 2017 at 2:47 pm #

        His name is on the ballot.

  4. That girl
    November 1, 2017 at 10:50 am #

    Great expose, once again Planet. Thanks for your coverage.

  5. That girl
    November 1, 2017 at 10:52 am #

    Vote “None of the Above.”

  6. h
    November 1, 2017 at 11:13 am #

    No, don’t vote.

  7. Cosbies
    November 1, 2017 at 11:23 am #

    Yawn sounds like a Kazoo. Elias sounds like he’s at a morgue.

  8. LenX Abhorant
    November 1, 2017 at 11:34 am #

    The biggest piece of garbage on the school committee is Utler.

  9. May Hemm
    November 1, 2017 at 11:46 am #

    Agree, must another pambi.

  10. Cos
    November 1, 2017 at 12:32 pm #

    Wow, is Hathaway a dud as a moderator or what. I like the way Persip handled himself concerning the rants next to him.

    • None Of The Above
      November 1, 2017 at 2:50 pm #

      Persip is nothing but a bigger dumber Pete White. When he gave his closing statement it sounded like Tyer wrote it.

  11. painter
    November 1, 2017 at 1:10 pm #

    Glad to I wasn’t the only that was insulated with Peter remark. Rember when you go to vote Marchetti said leave it to the Professional

    • Unwanted Carl
      November 1, 2017 at 2:12 pm #

      Marchetti’s a nowhere man, with a nowhere plan.

  12. dusty
    November 1, 2017 at 2:32 pm #

    Word on the street is that there will be about a 4% turnout for this election and 90% of the 4% will be political hacks and McCandless worshipers.

    I honestly do not see how my showing up this year affects things at all. What if about 5000 of us showed up at city hall the day of the election and asked to be taken off the voter registration rolls. And bring a TV station crew with us.

    • Joe Blow
      November 2, 2017 at 3:09 pm #

      This is by design….with the mayor now serving 4 year terms. It guaranties low turn out for the off year elections.

  13. Larson E. Hall
    November 1, 2017 at 2:55 pm #

    Folks love him or hate him the only candidate on the ballot with a chance of changing anything in Pittsfield is the “G” man. I’m not using my four votes for councilor at large. I’m casting one at large vote for the “G” man. This city needs to be turned upside down and no one else running for re-election or election will change anything. Take a chance.

    • dusty
      November 1, 2017 at 3:44 pm #

      As Trump says…what have you got to lose

    • Arial Black
      November 2, 2017 at 4:31 am #

      How would he change anything? Please walk us through that. The only change would be him ranting and raving from a different microphone.

  14. Pat
    November 1, 2017 at 3:52 pm #

    Why all the focus on Ward 1? Could it have something to do with Springside House renovations? Why do the suits need a sure thing of Moon in Ward 1? She will be the “yes” woman to whatever they propose, but what will they be proposing? None of it will be good for the average citizen that’s for sure.

    • Larson E. Hall
      November 1, 2017 at 6:04 pm #

      Guiel and Moon are are part of the Krol Krony machine. Don’t be sorry, don’t be fooled.

    • danvalenti
      November 1, 2017 at 8:20 pm #

      PAT
      The S House is a big part — not the entirety, though — of the odd political doings in Ward 1. Nice bit of sleuthing. Folks, keep your eye on the politics in 1. Not good for the city but great for the Inner Circle.

  15. Pothole
    November 1, 2017 at 4:52 pm #

    Dan, Ty Jackson was going to run at large if I remember correctly, doesn’t that throw a monkey wrench into your theory?

    • Radar
      November 1, 2017 at 6:10 pm #

      This is correct. He was running At Large and decided to pull out to focus on his business.

      He also doesn’t live anywhere near Ward 1…

    • danvalenti
      November 1, 2017 at 8:17 pm #

      P
      You are correct. It was at-large, but no, it doesn’t throw a wrench into our theory, for reasons that are too labyrinthian to discuss here. Thanks for the comment.

  16. Larson E. Mercer
    November 1, 2017 at 7:57 pm #

    Persip was dug up by the machine to replace Jackson when he jumped the sinking Tyertanic

    • dusty
      November 2, 2017 at 5:47 am #

      Tyertanic…I like that. maybe Harvey Weinstein can come to the city and make a blockbuster movie about our city hall antics.

      I know I feel like some body is grabbing my ass every year at tax time.

      so ME TOO

  17. dusty
    November 2, 2017 at 12:22 am #

    What happened to the story about city engineers and why the roads are not being fixed? Can we elect someone who cares about people stuff? Citizen stuff? Taxpayer stuff?

    • tom
      November 2, 2017 at 10:18 am #

      Even though I don’t live in his ward, Connell has on my occasions asked why no line painting and has proposed using a sub-contractor to get these things done. It seems he is one of only a few councilors that seem to care.

      • dusty
        November 2, 2017 at 3:29 pm #

        Connell should get off his ass and get Alfred drive paved. It is and has been a mess for a long time. 10 demerits for him on this. Poor performance.

        and for some reason seems to be last road in city plowed even though all the ones around it are plowed…wtf

        • tom
          November 3, 2017 at 11:23 am #

          Mayor trashcan makes the final decisions for roads to be done. If she can’t even get lines painted then how do you expect her to make proper decisions on roads?

  18. Mark Tully
    November 2, 2017 at 4:06 am #

    Hi Dan,
    I wish you would share your labyrinthian theories with me. I live in Ward 1 and appear to be in the dark in all this.

    • Dave
      November 2, 2017 at 2:31 pm #

      Like husband like wife.

    • danvalenti
      November 2, 2017 at 9:01 pm #

      MARK
      In Umberto Eco’s brilliant novel “Name of the Rose,” the Brother detective and his apprentice get lost in the monastery labyrinth. The novice panics after he and his master become separated, though they are still within earshot of each other. The frightened lad pleads for his master’s help, since he (and they) have become lost. The master replies, “But that, My boy, is the charm of a labyrinth.” Hope this reply suffices. Let those who have ears hear. Best to you and Lisa.

  19. Pothole
    November 2, 2017 at 5:47 am #

    I have seen some rather lengthy responses. I’m curious why now can it not be discussed?

  20. painter
    November 2, 2017 at 11:38 am #

    In one breath they tell us to get involved and in the nex Peter M said leave it to the professional people.

  21. Tito
    November 2, 2017 at 11:52 am #

    painter is spot on, quote of the month. The more they spew senseless verbage, the more vulnerable they will be. The voting problem,is the parents now vote with the Schools and employees, thus the double down results. Unless the masses can come out,ain’t fo na happen,you get the same old results decade after decade.

  22. Madame Du Barry
    November 2, 2017 at 12:26 pm #

    Morandi and maybe Guiel aren’t going to do the job. Morandi has been a terrible City Councilor, same old same old every year, year after year. Atyler looks the same, same amount of Crime, it never changes, ever. Are people aware in Ward 2 it should be insulting that the only thing done in the Ward has been garbage cans?

  23. Dilly Dally
    November 2, 2017 at 12:42 pm #

    The Planet, hands down, is five times the Moderator vs Larry and Sarah. I will say, in all Honesty, Larry, and I include every Parade I’ve ever seen, is the best Parade Announcer I’ve ever heard.

  24. H
    November 2, 2017 at 1:40 pm #

    Trump’s corporate tax relief does nothing for the Kaanski’s

  25. The school committee
    November 2, 2017 at 1:47 pm #

    Trump tax cut doing a federal tax that will bring all American corporations home…….Absolutely ridiculous.Trump is the worst President in history.

    • Ed Check
      November 2, 2017 at 4:22 pm #

      It’s not ridiculous, this will make it happens, and create jobs. Many multinational companies still feel US the safest place to keep the money, but do not want to get gored by taxes.

      A mentor of mine long ago said the companies never really pay taxes, they just pass it along to you and I in higher prices. If they cannot do that, they just go away. And then you are left with…Pittsfield!

    • Joe Blow
      November 2, 2017 at 5:43 pm #

      Trump is doing a GREAT job and when tax cuts pass…..prepare for take off!!!! #MAGA

      Greatest Stock Market Rally Ever! Another All Time Closing High Today!

      Dow up 28% since last year’s election!

      * The Dow has risen 28% since the election on November 8th. (On November 9th the DOW closed at 18,332 – today (November 42nd the DOW closed at 25,516.)

      * The Dow has increased 5,184 points since the November 8th election a year ago and the Dow all time high has increased by 4,880 since the election (the all time high on election day was 18,636 set on August 15, 2016). The Dow has never increased the All Time Highs this much in such a short period of time in its more than one hundred year history.

      * The Dow has increased more in 2017 than any year ever in Dow history! The Dow ended 2016 at 19,763 and has increased by 3,753 points through today. (The old record was 3,473 set by Obama in 2013.)

      * Since the election the Dow has surpassed 5 major milestones – 19,000, 20,000, 21,000, 22,000 and 23,000. This is the first time this has happened in less than a year in US history.

      * The stock market is based on current information and future expectations. This is why it’s logical to base any impact on the stock market related to a President by measuring from their election onward. For example, when Obama was elected President the Dow was at 9,625. Immediately after his election win the Dow plummeted to an eventual 6,547 on March 9th, 2009 before it began to recover. When President Trump was elected President the Dow sat at 18,332 and has increased at a record pace ever since.

      * President Trump’s stock market rally is historical! For example, President Trump increased the all time highs in the market in less than a year by more than Obama increased the all time highs in 8 years.

      * President Trump set the record earlier this year for the most all time closing stock market highs during his first year in office. Currently the Dow has set 72 closing highs since last year’s election and 55 since President Trump’s inauguration. (As a comparison, President Obama had no stock market highs his entire first term.)

      * More than one in four days since the election has ended in a new stock market high.

      * The Dow closed above 20,000 on January 25th and the March 1st rally matched the fastest-ever 1,000 point increase in the Dow at 24 days that the markets were open or 35 actual days.

      * The Dow took just 66 market open days to climb from 19,000 to above 21,000, the fastest 2,000 point run ever. The Dow closed above 19,000 for the first time on November 22nd 2016 and closed above 21,000 on March 1st 2017. The previous record was in 2007 when the Dow took nearly three times as long to cover 2,000 points.

      * The Dow took just 173 days to surpass the 3,000 point milestone between November 22, 2016 when the Dow surpassed 19,000 and August 2nd, 2017 when the DOW surpassed 22,000. The prior record was in 1999 when the Dow took more than four times as long to reach these heights.

      * The Dow surpassed the 23,000 mark on October 18th. This increase of 4,000 points in all time highs in this amount of time is unheard of in US history! Never has the all time Dow high increased by more than 4,000 points in less than a year!

      * Since President Trump’s Inauguration on January 20th the Dow is up 19%. (It was at 19,827 at January 20th.)

      * President Trump is the only President in US history to oversee two stock market rallies of nine days or more where the markets set new highs each and every day.

      * On February 28th President Trump matched President Reagan’s 1987 record for most continuous closing high trading days when the Dow reached a new high for its 12th day in a row!
      * Then in early August President Trump reigned over a 9 day stock market rally with each day reaching record highs.

      * The S&P 500 and the NASDAQ have both set new all-time highs during this period.
      * The US Stock Market gained $5 trillion in wealth since Trump was elected!
      * Virtually every major stock index is in record territory.

      by Jim Hoft

      • Fugimoto Hockalugi
        November 2, 2017 at 7:14 pm #

        Long live Trump

  26. mi
    November 2, 2017 at 2:11 pm #

    Pittsdield will absolutely see none of the tax cut.

  27. ShellyLiver
    November 2, 2017 at 2:13 pm #

    It will grow the budget trillions before any jobs are increased.So, the rich, just like the Obama,a bailout will be the same exact thing.

  28. Larson E. Hall
    November 2, 2017 at 3:26 pm #

    Herberg teacher fired and arrested by PPD…..allegedly put hands on kid/s and was a frequent name caller. Anyone know the full story?

    • Larson E. Hall
      November 2, 2017 at 3:29 pm #

      Maybe not arrested just escorted of school property

  29. dusty
    November 2, 2017 at 3:35 pm #

    Sears is closing in January…iberkshires has the story

    • ShellyLiver
      November 2, 2017 at 3:37 pm #

      Sears dropped it’s catalog and that was the end of that.

      • SojournerTruth
        November 2, 2017 at 4:58 pm #

        That’s because it’s not part of Pittsfield’s “vibrant, dynamic, diversified, economic engine” Lanesborough’s loss. The BIC will retrain the employees.

    • Pat
      November 2, 2017 at 5:50 pm #

      Soon this area will be a complete ghost town. No wonder everybody is moving away. Unless you want to hang out in bar rooms or pay expensive prices on North Street there will be no place to go for the average person.

      • Arial Black
        November 2, 2017 at 6:32 pm #

        you’re above average

  30. h
    November 2, 2017 at 3:57 pm #

    Just bad decisions over the years.Catalog is what Amazon is doing today.