(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY NOV. 20, 2017) — As you might know from the fawning magnification of a feature story published in The Boring Broadsheet Saturday, the Pittsfield Fourth of July Parade Committee, otherwise known as the Committe to Re-Elect Peter Marchetti (CREEPM), conducted a fundraiser over the weekend. It’s so reassuring to know that the sucker-money will go to a worthy cause, although considering the feud a-brew in’, we’d guess John Krol might argue the point.

The Good Time Golden Oldies Collen and Darren Re-Elect The Great White Dope Queen Bisquit Flour Hour rocked Reid Middle School in two weekend shows, shaking up the building even more than the police did recently at Herberg when they had to “escort” a reluctant, transgender teacher off the campus and off the payroll for alleged inappropriate action toward one of the pupils. We’re not exactly sure what he/she did, but an angry parent has been talking chemical burns.

Sources say the Nov. 2 incident was considered so disturbing by JIV and Co. that when the police arrived, they ordered the Herberg shades drawn in every classroom to protect whatever innocent eyes are left in these all-too-culturally precocious, pubescent boys and girls. What? You didn’t hear about this latest shining moment for the Pittsfield public schools on local radio or read about it in any local media, including the daily “of record?”

THE PLANET is shocked. Shocked. Gosh, it couldn’t be that the school department and certain city officials ordered The BB and the rest of local media to spike the story, could it? Or perhaps, as is more likely the case, the local media (which is neither rare or well done) didn’t know it happened, which means they aren’t trying, which means they aren’t providing honest coverage of the city’s most non-productive, dysfunctional, expensive department (eating more than 70% of the entire municipal budget). Do they not care? Do the editors muzzle their reporters? Are the journalists not good enough to “get the story?”

If you see Raymond Burr in town, you know the teacher has decided to go after the city for her/his\whatever kiss in the mail. The meritless case would be settled out of court. JIV won’t even care. He’s got his, and the $$$ will come out of the Kapanskis’ hides in higher taxes. As for the kid’s chemical burns as Mama Bear described them, she would appear to have an actual case against JIV and Co.

Ah, but we digress.

THE  PLANET could dig the musical fundraiser if it had been for a worthy cause such as a cure for the common cold or to purchase more trash cans for Tyler Street, but “the Fourth parade?” That overrated, $85,000 production by the creepy core of the Parade Committee? Not a chance. And when was the last time Marchetti shared the accounting of those 85,000 smackers? Never, as we recall … Not that THE PLANET would ever suggest financial hanky panky or a diversion of funds. There’s no reason to suspect that here.

Once upon a time, in a distant planet from a dim past, Pittsfield had a Fourth parade of which citizens could be proud, a parade of great energy and a modest size that fit the down-home theme of a patriotic day. Then, like all good things in this Sad Sad Sick city, it fell into the hands of the unworthy, a swishy collection of elves, imps, gnomes, misfits, dimwads, and fairies, a merry band that counts Marchetti as a ranking, card-carrying member.

THE PLANET first met PM when he first ran for office, in 1999 or about an additional 100 pounds ago. He lost that race, gained weight, and learned. He learned the game of “suck-up,” gaining expertise and practicing it in a manner up there with the spineless best. He wiggled, he wavered, and he whiffed, standing for nothing and sitting for everything. Once The Suits realized he would “play ball” and not lift a fat finger on behalf of citizens, taxpayers, and the besieged Little Guy, they made sure he won. The lie-filled game continued well for limp Peter, and he racked up win after win.

It came crashing down when The Vested Interests, playing both of the city’s political machines with equal deftness, found Dan Bianchi finally willing to take the top spot. Marchetti had a race he should have easily won, but he folded faster than Myron Florian’s accordion. Exit Peter, panned.

If Panned Peter was a smart man, he would have stayed the heck out of politics, spending the rest of his life trying to build up his vanquished self-respect and building his career on the outside. Ah, but the siren call proved too much, and the man got back in, dooming his personhood on the sacrificial altar of the local Democratic committee. As the line in the Christmas song puts it, “Don we now our gay apparel. Fa la la, fa la la, la la la.” Tis the season, and all that.

Marchetti achieved the apex of his masochistic humiliation when he eschewed staying behind the curtain at the Herberg hootenanny. If he didn’t back out at the last minute having come to his senses, Peter actually got on stage, no doubt encouraged by the wattless bulbs on the CREEPM committee, to waddle through a dreadful, ribbons-and-rainbow version of the Tom Jones sexy rocker, “It’s Not Unusual.” We won’t say Pete can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but the notes were so flat that Christopher Columbus resurrected from the grave to perform his famous egg trick.

Not unusual? We hate to break it poor Peter, but, yes … It’s become SO usual as to be typical, so typical to be a cliche.

Now if he’ll only agree to come on live on TV with THE PLANET to bang out more Tom Jones.

Would ya believe, Englebert Humperdink?


“It’s not odd. It’s only a whale off kilter” — Sir Tiberius Fruitjuice.



The Usual Disclaimer.



  1. The school committee
    November 20, 2017 at 9:10 am #

    If you handle cash and have no accounting you beg the question of where is the CASH….Crosby staff Store…..The Superintendant and Principle can not play dumb on cash being handled…..who counts the cash

  2. LoneGunMan
    November 20, 2017 at 9:54 am #

    I wonder if the teacher was mis-gendered, felt threatened and probably threw acid on the kid.

    nothing to see here folks, just systemic white supremacy

  3. Tricksie
    November 20, 2017 at 9:59 am #

    DV – this article is a true Picasso – nearly flawless in its description of the people and actions of the parade committee – bravo bravo well done

    • Len X Abhorant
      November 20, 2017 at 10:53 am #

      Hot Fudge Tricksie, just another day at the office.

      • Tricksie
        November 20, 2017 at 12:17 pm #

        careful with the fudge talk…

    • Thomas More
      November 20, 2017 at 11:36 am #

      Little wonder that the Planet didn’t see Pete come out from behind the curtain at Herberg. The Oldies/Goodies event was held at Reid Middle School as in 950 North St. Do you wonder how much more of this story is fact?

      • danvalenti
        November 20, 2017 at 11:54 am #

        Thanks, TM. You are the one man we can count on to tell us everything we get wrong on THE PLANET. We have corrected to Reid, although, truth be told, they are still North and South to me. Reid? Herberg? They don’t register. As for the rest of thee article, it’s all true according to our WELL-INFORMED sources, as much as you may not want to believe it.

        • Thomas More
          November 21, 2017 at 11:26 am #

          I agree wholeheartedly. There was never any real reason to rename either school. Same goes for Highland School.

  4. Pat
    November 20, 2017 at 11:05 am #

    What happened in the school with the teacher and student should be on the cover of every local paper and even beyond. That there is no mention of it speaks volumes of the lock down of information when it doesn’t fit the local political agenda.

    • LoneGunMan
      November 20, 2017 at 11:21 am #

      “…when it doesn’t fit the local political agenda.” said perfectly. It’s amazing the trash the Eagle reports on, but this isn’t news.

  5. mi
    November 20, 2017 at 12:25 pm #

    So, did I just see a City Truck with some kind of painting on it?

  6. The school committee
    November 20, 2017 at 12:28 pm #

    Herberg is having behavior problems with staff controlling student at herberg as part of the old alternate school being mainstreamed to herberg with very small group of kids disrupt ing the entire building….adjustment councilor and staff working with them are allowed to disturb the rest …..its another secret that promote parents getting 2nd hand info because Super wont speak to this so out the door the kids go……Yon and Taylor Tyer live a lie about herberg

    • Spagirl
      November 21, 2017 at 4:05 am #

      There is no excuse for again keeping information from the citizens. The Superintendant, the School Committee, the City Council. And the Mayor are accountable to the citizens. The Berkshire Eagle should be called out as well. I hope citizens will speak out to these officials…. and demand accountability.

  7. Two Cents
    November 20, 2017 at 1:19 pm #

    FYI…..The rush job is underway to push the new garbage collection system through ASAP. The council will meet as a committee of the whole tomorrow night at 7pm to allow Mayor Tyer to make her snake oil pitch before the council unanimously approves it next week. Spread the word about the meeting (7pm CC Chambers) Because the Berkshire Eagle(which loves the idea) has not even mentioned it.

    • danvalenti
      November 20, 2017 at 4:25 pm #

      Thanks for these important two cents, TC.

    • Arial Black
      November 20, 2017 at 4:28 pm #

      Where is this advertised?

      • Two Cents
        November 21, 2017 at 10:18 am #

        That’s the point….It wasn’t. But confirmation can be found on the calendar page of the city’s web site.

        • LoneGunMan
          November 22, 2017 at 5:24 am #

          Caccamo is at the helm, how many of his debates with Jim Gleason did he announce? Zero. Jim did all the legwork.

          Caccamo is a caricature of a shady hipster do nothing that always looks sincere

  8. Jonathan Melle
    November 20, 2017 at 2:06 pm #

    Re: Open Letter to Dan Valenti

    November 20, 2017

    Dear Dan Valenti,

    I wish you and your loved ones a Happy Thanksgiving! I also enjoy reading your writings on Pittsfield politics. However, I got frustrated with your blog today when you disparaged Peter Marchetti, who is an openly homosexual man, but you do nothing but praise U.S. President Donald Trump.

    Let me go down the list on your beloved sexist in the Oval Office:

    * Donald Trump said he grabs woman by their “meow” after he forcibly kisses them with breath mints in his mouth, while he was married with his then pregnant third wife.

    * Donald Trump openly cheated on his first two wives and he has 5 children from 3 mothers, including one child named Tiffany who was conceived out-of-wedlock.

    * Donald Trump has 15 women alleging sexual misconduct against them, and instead of admitting his sexual deviant behavior towards women, he denies it all and threatened to sue these women.

    * Donald Trump is selective about who he tweets against concerning sexual harassment allegations. He remains silent about Judge Roy Moore, but disparaged Al Franken.

    So I ask you, Dan Valenti, why do you berate Peter Marchetti, but not Donald Trump?


    Jonathan Melle

    • danvalenti
      November 20, 2017 at 4:24 pm #

      Thank you for the good wishes. Pass along mthe same from me to you and family on Thanksgiving.
      As for the remarks on Marchetti and Trump, personal matters such as sexual orientation do not figure in the mix for THE PLANET as it pertains to anyone. We remark strictly on the basis of political performance in public life.

    • Ed Check
      November 20, 2017 at 5:23 pm #

      Your list could also be describing the presidency of John Kennedy or Bill Clinton. What was it that Democrats said…let’s get on to letting him get on with doing his work, after all he was elected, let the voters decide at the next election.

      They didn’t seem to care with Bill Clinton, unfortunately we will never know with JFK, he was removed.

  9. dusty
    November 20, 2017 at 2:43 pm #

    BE CAREFUL ON THE ROADS!! It has become normal in Pittsfield for some drivers to run red lights and speed weaving in and out of traffic endangering the lives of everyone around them. Perhaps if some city official gets clobbered some form of traffic enforcement will materialize. It seems to be a rare cross town ride that I do not encounter at least one major asshole that is obsessed with getting to the front of the line no matter what it takes. It will get exponentially worse with the holiday season.

    Make sure your airbags work. Go over the procedure for filling out an accident report and be sure your phone camera is ready to take pictures (should you survive the wreck) so that the ass hole that broadsides you cannot lie his way out of it even if he knows a high official.

    The best advice is to travel only early in the morning, double your life and accidental dismemberment insurance and set up a backup plan for feeding your pet in case you become incapacitated.

    Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving…should you last that long.

    • CosbiesLadies
      November 20, 2017 at 2:50 pm #

      100 percent on that, dusty.Respect and driving on the roads is at an all time low, it’s a social problem which has turned Into an epidemic. While driving up an incline with a double line going the speed limit, the driver behind me, passes?? At the double line?
      there is an advertisement on t v and it actually looks like the real thing, it’s an attachment to your rear view mirror with a swivel camera that works by recording it onto a computer chip, I think it was 49 dollars. I might get one.

    • Dilly Dally
      November 20, 2017 at 2:54 pm #

      Oh, was that u I cut off,lol. There was a squirrel in the road?

  10. Dilly Dally
    November 20, 2017 at 2:58 pm #

    I think I’ll bet one of those LENCO Vehicles, do they have a convertible?

  11. mi
    November 20, 2017 at 3:25 pm #

    The two most powerful men in the City are the two who have shows at PCTV, one is the Planet, and he is Number One,simply because of his blog and the show. The Sigs are deathly afraid of what he prints and what he says.The other show is the News Hour, the Sigs are deathly afraid of this guy, simply because he calls them out in Public, humiliates and embarrasses them to the point it compares to a Trump like whip lashing.

    • Still Not Matt
      November 21, 2017 at 10:40 am #

      The news hour gives the SIGS hell toupee!

      • Dustin M
        November 21, 2017 at 11:18 am #

        Matt again you have nothing useful to add

        • Shakes His Head
          November 21, 2017 at 1:16 pm #

          Go play with your little boys, loser.

          • Shakes His Head
            November 21, 2017 at 1:17 pm #

            Dustin M is gonna play “stuff the turkey” with his cousins this holiday!

          • LoneGunMan
            November 22, 2017 at 5:26 am #

            Which head did you shake at Pete Marchetti when clapping to the oldies? I bet the small one

          • Still Not Matt
            November 22, 2017 at 6:06 am #

            I assure my hands, and both heads, are not small like yours and Doofus Trump’s.

          • Dustin M
            November 22, 2017 at 6:07 am #

            attention everyone, the fool Shakes His Head and Still Not Matt are indeed the same thief

          • Still Not Matt
            November 22, 2017 at 7:12 am #

            Attention everyone, of course I use the two different handles, although I am not Matt. I don’t even have an M or T in my entire name that is 23 characters long.

            Dustin dresses up in a My Little Pony costume at comic book conventions to lure young boys for molesting.

  12. Paul
    November 20, 2017 at 4:17 pm #

    I’ve heard a few odd things about that teacher at Reid. I’m not surprised about this story. I won’t repeat what I heard as it would be considered hearsay.

    • danvalenti
      November 20, 2017 at 4:22 pm #

      Yes, thank you for your discretion. The information THE PLANET received came by the girl’s mother some of the discussion of it on social media.

  13. H
    November 20, 2017 at 4:39 pm #

    Ok I’m confused is iit a Reid or Herberg teacher?

    • dusty
      November 20, 2017 at 5:28 pm #

      I am confused as well. Can someone capsulize the event or does anyone even know what went on enough to comment?

      • danvalenti
        November 20, 2017 at 5:54 pm #

        Herberg. We are still in fact-finding mode. We will only present the information when we are satisfied we got the story.

  14. gocometti
    November 20, 2017 at 5:45 pm #

    There is a reason that the Pilgrims had trouble keeping their pants from falling down…..they after all had their belt buckle on their hats.

    Happy Thanksgiving

    • danvalenti
      November 20, 2017 at 5:55 pm #

      Love it, G. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well from all of us on THE PLANET.

    • Ed Check
      November 20, 2017 at 6:54 pm #

      That explains the Pilgrims, but it doesn’t help Bill Clinton.

      • Mad Trapper
        November 20, 2017 at 8:45 pm #

        Slick(sick?) Willie wears pants to keep his ankles warm, ask Monica

        • Cos
          November 21, 2017 at 8:17 am #

          I wonder if the. Ibarra wrapper was on?

  15. Arial Black
    November 21, 2017 at 4:51 am #


    • danvalenti
      November 21, 2017 at 8:23 am #

      Thanks, TEECHA. THE PLANET put enough pressure on JIV and the department via our initial coverage. After we hinted of the story, iBerkshires did the legwork. JIV’s response is, at this point, inadequate. It would seem from the info at this point that the facts refute his “say nothing” denials. We shall see.

  16. Bull Durham
    November 21, 2017 at 7:46 am #

    Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Planet. May all of your golf swings be filled with wind and sleet, and be on the ninth at Stamford Valley.

    • danvalenti
      November 21, 2017 at 8:21 am #

      And a happy, loving Thanksgiving to you and yours, with all your golf swings driving the green on hole 1 at Stamford … Still the greatest shot Evah Maid. Coffee or lunch soon? Let me know.

  17. dusty
    November 21, 2017 at 10:44 am #

    McCandless ain’t talking. And he is worried about rumors but is not being open which is how and why rumors get started.

    So what I want to know is if this was about stolen prom money. Did someone get their greedy hands on the prom money again? Or was it about an unannounced boxing match between to “personells”? Maybe an anaconda escaped from some kids pocket and was found eating a teachers brown bag lunch?

    I am not trying to feed into the rumor mill here just speculating such as people are want to do. Did it have anything to do with Trumps people coming in and deporting illegal dreamers? OH my, I sure hope not.

  18. Tricia and Trasha
    November 21, 2017 at 11:40 am #

    I have to laugh, how ,any times have you seen the city administrators of whatever,say, can give you.more Information or I can get that, to you. Is anyone prepared in this City? The other issue that needs to be addressed is will money be saved on otter pick-up? if there are savings ,where exactly do the savings go? Will there be a request for bidding?If the wind blows the dambThing Into a car and breaks the tote, or the truck breaks it, who pays for the replacement of? If the Health Department is in charge of this, residents will dump garbage all over the City, just because. Does the Hauler benefit from this, is there oversight as far as who is chosen if there isn’t a designated contract to bid? How many workers get laid off? The City gave Ovanta 500g to retain jobs, where is the oversight for the workers,here?

  19. Tricia and Trasha
    November 21, 2017 at 11:51 am #

    Sorry for the miscues, hope u got the messag?

  20. Len X Abhorant
    November 21, 2017 at 12:27 pm #

    I’m for toters if you are allowed to put anything them.

  21. amandaWell
    November 21, 2017 at 12:37 pm #

    Way to go Mayor, getting the grant from Massworks, another untold story of success.

  22. mi
    November 21, 2017 at 12:39 pm #

    Mayor Tyer gets my vote!

    • LoneGunMan
      November 22, 2017 at 5:28 am #

      I stopped doing a golf clap. From now on I give people like you a giant seal type applause

  23. Shelly Liver
    November 21, 2017 at 12:53 pm #

    Thank you Trishia and Mayor Tyer for all you do. its great to live in a Hip and Cool City
    as the Mayor so aptly describes.Go West Side Youth Center.

  24. Cos
    November 21, 2017 at 1:05 pm #

    Aren’t people in this City getting sick of the lap dogs. Enough!

  25. AlaskanBushClowns
    November 21, 2017 at 1:27 pm #

    Can anyone tell me what streets to keep off of I the City?

  26. Cos
    November 21, 2017 at 3:07 pm #

    Great, Pittsfield’s Berkshire Housing mainly Capitol Apartments on North Street splattered all over the news as a Prostitution area for a local dead beats. Who runs Berkshire Housing?

  27. Dilly Dally
    November 21, 2017 at 5:38 pm #

    I want my Toter in Gold.

  28. Trish and Trash
    November 21, 2017 at 5:46 pm #

    Who was coughing and gargling during the whole presentation of the Toters, what an annoying person.. Stop coughing into the Mike.

  29. h
    November 21, 2017 at 6:55 pm #

    The numbers will change and the contract will change and we will be stupid to do any proposal this buffoon is putting together.

    • Spagirl
      November 22, 2017 at 8:32 am #

      The mighty aloof high officials need to get knocked off their high horses, …..the taxpayers that they are shutting out are the very ones who pay the bills. It is,astounding how passive the citizens are here. There is no power above and no power looking in. The smart, intellectual, and most talented have left for good.

  30. dusty
    November 22, 2017 at 1:17 am #

    What is it about the citizens of Pittsfield that just because they chip in 10s of millions of dollars A YEAR to finance their schools they think they have a right to know what goes on in them?
    Get back in your place and stay there! I am sure if the people at city hall want your input they will ask.

    • Spagirl
      November 22, 2017 at 8:34 am #

      My reply to you is just above

  31. dusty
    November 22, 2017 at 2:17 am #

    iberkshires has good story about Pittsfield going to toter trash pickup. Must read for sure.

    • LoneGunMan
      November 22, 2017 at 5:52 am #

      I’m sure the residents that are already too lazy to pick up their trash bags strewn in the road are going to both pick up a knocked over 45 gallon behemouth of can, and then mosey down to the store to pay an extra $3 a bag for overflow, as opposed to dumping trash illegally. We will see how much blight is fixed when you see piles of diapers and rotten food throughout roads in wooded areas.

      At least some of the councilors are speaking up. I’m giving Krol credit and I never do. He’s on the right side of this.

      • Wilson
        November 22, 2017 at 6:40 am #

        Krol is just sending the message to Republic that he needs a little “persuasion”

        • LoneGunMan
          November 22, 2017 at 9:26 am #

          I love (hate) it

  32. The school committee
    November 22, 2017 at 3:04 am #

    Thanks to Lee,Ma for hiring Eberwien and getting him out of the State College System.Who does the hiring in Lee because they Judge Moore will need a job.

  33. Pat
    November 22, 2017 at 5:25 am #

    Will there be a ribbon cutting for the totes? Since so few good things are happening in the city, we need more ridiculous excuses for a ribbon cutting.

    • Still Not Matt
      November 22, 2017 at 6:07 am #

      Never fear, first pitch season is around the corner.

      • Dustin M
        November 22, 2017 at 7:02 am #

        Matt nobody cares what you think

        • Still Not Matt
          November 22, 2017 at 7:13 am #

          Dustin is the catcher at home and a pitcher in his pedophile van.

  34. mi
    November 22, 2017 at 6:12 am #

    Who is that on PCTV Liz Taylor and Richard burton?

  35. Coc
    November 22, 2017 at 6:19 am #

    Sometimes he sneaks in the back of the Theatre and gets lost in his mind? You’re tax dollars hard at work.

  36. Gigi
    November 22, 2017 at 6:40 am #

    Forestell for Mayor!
    If Krol can see through this trash plan….then it’s a no-brainer. I urge the City Council to vote no on this new trash proposal. If you think that someone other than yourself will pay for the new trash totes – guess again!.
    Message to the City Council – stop spending!!

    • dusty
      November 22, 2017 at 8:45 am #

      Seriously? The parking meter experiment was a big success so why not jump on the trash can bandwagon? Remember, there are no kickbacks on this one.

  37. Two Cents
    November 22, 2017 at 9:28 am #

    When they Tyer Administration proposes a cost savings plan…Well, as Dan would say…Hold on to your wallets!!!!

  38. Obfus Kate
    November 26, 2017 at 8:10 am #

    valenti is great.