(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY AUG. 28, 2019) — Thirty-six years ago today, THE PLANET produced a pair of concerts at the Boys’ Club in Pittsfield starring “King of the One Liners” Henny Youngman. Not since then has Pittsfield been the site of so many yuks in so short a time. With too much to cover, let us get at it in bits and bites, like breakfast cereal.

MAYORAL DEBATE — As THE PLANET predicted, the panel stayed well away from the horrible state of the Pittsfield Public Schools, with no questions about faux-war criminals Supt. JIV and school board chair(wo)man Lady Boots. It also largely ignored violence. Instead, moderator Larry “The Muffler” Krackup led Linda Tyer, Melissa Mazzeo, Karen Kalinowsky, and Scott Graves on a sleepy tour of marijuana, natural disasters, tourism, and ageism. You know, the hot topics turning the city into the Titanic after the iceberg. Krackup’s first question paved the way: “Mmmph rumph pheugh rudda muffago whoodiju.” Winner: Nobody. Losers: Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski. Graves was a rusty anchor. Former cop Kalinowsky channeled the Mary Fydrich-Harpo Marx look, making clear why her police supervisors kept her off the street. Those two are toast. Tyer and Mazzeo played it safe, killing syllables but saying little. Is Mazzeo keeping her powder dry for a one-on-one showdown with the mayor? She seemed tame. And why did Tyer shout? Did advisers tell her to crank the volume? THE PLANET has prepped captains of industry, politicians, athletes, actors, and the like for high-stakes public presentations. We would not have advised shouting. Mazzeo and Tyer move on. The other two? Who cares.

MEDIA MOGULS — How bad is the local media? There was no radio coverage of the debate, the usual glitch disaster known as PCTV, and … Amanda Drane-cum-Jack Guerino. Drane wrote her story as if she were on Tyer’s communications team. Our insider at The Boring Broadsheet said The BB will be backing Tyer. Don’t tell. Fred wants to keep it a secret. You might not heave heard of Guerino. We didn’t know him from Rudolp Valentino, but he’s the lad iBerkshires sent to cover the smokeless Bar-B-Q. Andy McKeever? His years of sucking up finally paid off with a job as communications director for that fearless crime fighter and scourge of “white privilege,” our honored district attorney. Things are do desperate at iBerk that they sent Tammy Daniels to cover the Ward 6 debate. Speaking of which …

IF A 6 TURNED OUT TO BE 9 — Daniels identified Craig Gaetani as “Edward Gaetani.” Daniels’ anchor, too, might be a little rusty. Dina Guiel Lampisi, another of the D.A.’s patronage hires and The Suits’ hand-picked queen for the Satellite Six throne, loves the new Police Advisory Board. No mention about the shooting, stabbings, and weekend of mayhem and violence. Oh wait. They hadn’t happened yet. We also learned that Eddie Carmel (a) was not the giant who played the monster in The Brain That Would Not Die, and (c) he’s not allergic to peanuts. Gaetani won this hoedown, and not because his T-shirt made him the coolest candidate. He’ll now wait for the Special Interests to bury him when he matches the machine-backed Guiel, which is, by the way, an anagram for “Guile.” At the end of Daniels’ fairy tale, iBerk notified readers that “Comments are closed for this story.” Could it be embarrassment? Guerino’s coverage of the mayoral contest generated a grand total of one comment. As we’ve been saying, folks, the only free speech left in the area is THE PLANET.

HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN. BANG BANG! SHOOT SHOOT! — If you look at the house at 343 Columbus Ave., you’ll see the siding riddled with bullet holes. Perhaps its Mayor Tyer’s latest initiative for homeowners: free air conditioning. The 3 a.m. shootings happened just after a violence fight at Cumby’s on First Avenue, which occurred not long after the “Tyjaye and Zyir Gun Show” on John Street. THE PLANET has since heard lots of rumors from the mean streets, suggesting the incidents are related, involving drugs and gangs with a trail that leads back to Springfield. Authorities assure you, though, that the “public safety” is not in danger. (INSERT CANNED LAUGHTER HERE … OR … RESTORATIVE JUSTICE).

“Dem streets is mean, mo-fo.”


“You can have friends or you can correct people’s grammar”Mary Norris.



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  1. Johnny Absurd
    August 29, 2019 at 9:59 am #

    Somewhere in Pittsfield, in an office of high regard, there sits some big wigs trying to come up with a plausible story for the public. They already know we are stupid based on the people we elected so that may explain the Pablum they drizzled out recently.
    And the thing is that this is not the only low info assault lately. If it were not tourist season maybe we would be brought more up to date.


  2. Sgt. Bazooka
    August 29, 2019 at 10:26 am #

    Where were cartridge casings found? Even a 22 is dangerous for over a mile. The car containing the victim could have been some distance away from where a firearm was discharged.She could have been hit by a stray bullet from a gun battle some distance away.

  3. Shakes
    August 29, 2019 at 10:43 am #

    I’d be willing to bet that if an enterprising researcher were to comb through records and analyze criminal system costs for different ethnicity in the Berkshires, they would find that whites experienced less of a financial cost for their transgressions. The dirty progressive secret is they are as much a part of the racist white oppressive system as the GOP.

    But I’m not going to make a bunch of false statements and claim they are facts. You can keep talking out of your ass, but I won’t.

    • Markus Aurelius
      August 29, 2019 at 12:19 pm #


      That’s to broad of a subject to say, “whites experienced less….” First, let’s look at the crimes being committed. A black male shoots a person, a structure, etc, they will be held on high bail. A white guy gets an OUI, chances are, he’ll be released on PR (plus the clerk magistrates fee).

      Race has ZERO to do with it. It’s all relative to seriousness of crime, FTA’s in court, and established roots in the community.

      Also, if your suspect is unemployed and committing criminal offenses, what financial cost is that unemployed person accrue? Last I knew, we the tax-payers are on the hook for that.

      And lastly, how is the GOP oppressive? Unemployment amongst blacks is the lowest in history. And is giving away the kitchen sink to a bunch of free loaders (i.e.-my tax money), going to really help the “oppression,” or fuel continued laziness?

    • Mad Trapper
      August 29, 2019 at 3:25 pm #

      Instead of spouting off with false claims , Shakey, provide some FACTS!!!

      How many shooting crimes in PISStfield were , lily white, and how many “other”????

      Get it right You racist POS!!!!

      • Shakes
        August 30, 2019 at 4:47 am #

        Triggered much? Sorry to upset you snowflakes, an apt description because you are white AND brittle.

    • 12 Gauge
      August 29, 2019 at 7:09 pm #

      Shakes aka Schlitzie. Hang it up.

  4. Stirrebs
    August 29, 2019 at 10:46 am #

    NGAF Shakes,but tell us anyway. Hey I sound like Yogi Berra.

  5. Li Cents
    August 29, 2019 at 12:21 pm #

    I think shot sputter can project into the future. Oh sorry that’s me,I predict Cumberland’s under/over is fifty this month, for police calls.

  6. Jonathan Melle
    August 29, 2019 at 1:40 pm #

    Come visit Pittsfield to buy your pot, booze, and lottery tickets, but don’t forget to dodge the bullets flying around town!

    • Mad Trapper
      August 29, 2019 at 3:31 pm #

      Please come back John.

      “You are not at risk”, take a stroll through the streets between N. Street and Onota. Then a run up Tyler side streets.

      Elm street is infested too, if you make it that far.

      Lovely Linda and Barry C. says so.

  7. Auto Phil
    August 29, 2019 at 2:19 pm #

    JIM – thank you for sharing that article! Well stated.

    Flogging Molly – you are either completely naive or intentionally trying to mislead readers here. OF COURSE Mayor Tyer knew about this immediately. Social media blew up instantly with the information and of course while it wasn’t confirmed, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…well…you know how it goes… Claiming Tyer had no knowledge until the public did is ridiculous. It is akin to Mr. Claremont claiming Tyer doesn’t read this blog nor does he talk with her about all the things written here about her. What a bad husband!

    It sounds like she was picking up someone or dropping them off. Probably sitting outside in her car waiting for someone or checking her phone before pulling off.

    Here’s my question -PoliceReport – a person shot in a car would have been shot through a windshield or window right? Why a car with a bullet hole go undetected for so long?

    • PoliceReport
      August 29, 2019 at 3:04 pm #

      There were a couple of problems.
      The ShotSpotter misdirected the spotting information. If you are on the wrong street or the wrong end of the street, it’s going to take you longer to find the car. Also remember they didn’t know what they were looking for. They didn’t know a person was shot, they didn’t know if it was a drive by, or a running gun battle, because someone got out of the car or approached the car and then started shooting.
      In the dark, driving around a broken window might look like an open window, you might miss it, especially if the body is slumped sideways in the car.

      • PoliceReport
        August 29, 2019 at 3:09 pm #

        To clarify on point.
        The protocol for any ShotSpotter call is to receive the location, number of shots, time, and direction and speed of travel of the SHOOTER.
        It a search, police may approach from a different street, a few streets off, in an attempt to locate the fleeing shooter.
        Depending on the number of units, one may go directly to where the shots were fired but most will approach from different routes. Very few shooters stay where they fired a gun.

        • Auto Phil
          August 29, 2019 at 3:43 pm #

          So this begs the question – is ShotSpotter more helpful in apprehending shooters or locating victims?

          It sounds to me like the latter, which would suggest protocol should be to go to the location of shots fired, as directly as possible.

          I have yet to hear of ShotSpotter assisting in the capture of a shooter.

          • PoliceReport
            August 29, 2019 at 3:54 pm #

            Chief Wynn will swear that it helps, I’ve disagreed with him many times on this.

            Over half the “pings” are wrong. Either fireworks, loud noises, or echos. Of the rest very few have led to an arrest or have led to an arrest where other information didn’t supersede any information provided by ShotSpotter. No case has been “made” by shot spotter, it’s always been witness testimony, direct knowledge, forensics, etc. Any ShotSpotter information has been anecdotal.

            Where Wynn says it really pays off is in situations were no one reports gunfire. He’s saying that the PPD is collecting data it wouldn’t even know exists. It’s called reactive data driven policing. Oddly something mayor Linda Tyer complained about when debating Bianchi.
            My argument is that you would know the data exists and would have a higher chance of closing cases or maybe even preventing cases by having more boots on the ground, more officers on patrol. Beat cops and neighborhood cops make a difference. And I don’t mean cops hading our ice pops and basketball hoops in a war zone.

          • danvalenti
            August 29, 2019 at 6:53 pm #

            Shot Spotter is as much a bust as the parking kiosks. Both fail even the most lenient quality standards. Both eat up a couple million bucks a year — a steep price to pay for failure.

          • danvalenti
            August 29, 2019 at 6:53 pm #

            It’s great at finding vitcims … though it might take, say, 20 minutes for police to find the dead body.

        • Sgt. Bazooka
          August 29, 2019 at 4:40 pm #

          Wouldn’t the shot out windows be a red flag?

          • Hell Toupee
            August 29, 2019 at 4:42 pm #

            They had to call in the detectives to figure that one out.

          • PoliceReport
            August 29, 2019 at 5:51 pm #

            You would think.

          • acheshirecat
            August 30, 2019 at 4:40 am #

            the article said the windows were broken by police to get into the vehicle.

          • danvalenti
            August 30, 2019 at 7:28 am #

            We heard the cops had to use a pointed metal window piercer.

        • Brian C. Marquis
          September 2, 2019 at 6:03 am #

          In the meantime, a victim might be lying on the ground losing his/her life, while cops are scouring the area for an unknown? Is that what you’re claiming here?

          Say hi to Betsy (John Citi) for me, Dave.

  8. D Vereet
    August 29, 2019 at 3:38 pm #

    Whats going on at conservation commission concerning Lothrop something to do with participation and ethics. Lothrop says he plans on participating. Other than that I wouldn’t know what he has done if anything.

    • Van Lingle Mungo
      August 29, 2019 at 7:06 pm #

      He loves to conversate.

  9. The school committee
    August 29, 2019 at 4:08 pm #

    The mayor and department head Mccandless should watch Tom Brady as every year he is told to do more with less.We keep throwing money at our winless team of schools.The schools have the worst reputation in the state.Most people feel we are losers.As Tom Brady said our biggest problem may be the most rewarding experience of all if we work to overcome it.Mccandless and Tyer with curtis and and Brites in Special Ed must show up in the school and not leave it until it’s solved or be fired.This is why they need to be on the playing field of Herberg school.I believe the administrators are lazy.John Barrett left Pittsfield and said the department heads are lazy.Advised that these people should never sit at a desk.We should all be watching to see if they show up at Herberg and solve the problem of Herberg student behaviors.Pittsfield teachers should never be abused.

  10. We Dun
    August 29, 2019 at 4:39 pm #

    One thing we do know, differentiating between fireworks and gunshots is not absolute. I don’t know how many times the officer in the general area stated,no,it was fireworks.

    One night about three months ago around three in the morning I was awake in bed and distinctly heard gunshots,it sounded like it was right outside my window,that’s how close it was, so I turned the scanner on immediately,nothing,zero, not even any kind of noise call. Someone got shot that night or was shot at !

  11. Mad Trapper
    August 29, 2019 at 5:41 pm #

    To quote Jay Leno, back when ,the POS (Fallon) on the Tonight show now, was not there.

    “Dumb Cop, Dump Cop, What you gonna do? What you gonna do with a low I.Q…….

    So is the same with city: leadership. appointments, infrastructure/procurement there NOW.

    Ms Tyer?

    Barry C/”Mr Tyer”. a comment? How about crime and urban decay the last 4 years? Guns, drugs, last few shootings?

    • A Special Kind Of Stress
      August 29, 2019 at 6:31 pm #

      Tyer says residents have A Special Kind Of Stress. She cares.

    • Shakes
      August 30, 2019 at 4:51 am #

      Calling everyone a piece of shit does not advance discussion.

  12. Roberto Del Halitoso
    August 29, 2019 at 6:08 pm #

    “My endorsement comes with the strong belief that Andrea and I share similar values and we are like-minded,” Tyer said, standing beside Harrington at her East Street campaign headquarters with about 25 supporters. “We both believe in creating opportunities for social justice and for thinking differently about entrenched problems.” – Linda Tyer

  13. Sgt. Bazooka
    August 29, 2019 at 6:25 pm #

    Victim from Yonkers NYC…..Murdered in a car with MA.plates. Who was the car registered to?

    • Auto Phil
      August 30, 2019 at 4:14 am #

      The car has a little Italian flag decal on the back. I’m thinking it was hers. She was 32. Too old to be driving her parent’s car.

      A comment on Facebook said that she actually had been back in the area more recently. Moved to Yonkers ten years ago and was planning on going back. Sounds like she didn’t just “drive up from NY”.

  14. Blar
    August 29, 2019 at 6:35 pm #

    Anyone else think Police Report is former DA David Capeless?