PLANET ANNOUNCES FIRST ANNUAL ‘TURKEY OF THE YEAR’ AWARD … ENTER NOW FOR A CHANCE AT A FABULOUS PRIZE PACKAGE … plus … A CAN’T MISS MOVIE EVENT FROM PLANET PRODUCTIONS: “THE PICTURE OF BARACK OBAMA.” HAPPY THANKSGIVING, ALL!!
By DAN VALENTI
PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary
(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, NOV. 21, 2012) — Here is, as promised, is the announcement of THE PLANET‘s first annual Turkey of the Year Award. You will nominate the winner. We will decide who wins this dubiously coveted honor. Here are the rules:
(1) Select someone in local life (politics, business, city government, etc.) who best exemplifies the qualities of a “turkey.” By turkey, we mean not the tasty bird that shall compose the repast of so many a table in America tomorrow but the person, again, in local life (no national or international figures), who wins the award as the most ineffective, dishonorable, unprincipled, unethical, untrustworthy, venal, underhanded, double-dealing, fraudulent, shady, sleazy, dissolute, or is otherwise harmful to the body politick. A well-meaning boob could be as worthy as an ill-intentioned manipulator. It might, for example, be a public “servant” who hasn’t delivered as promised. It could be a person of high expectations who disappointed or an expected disappointment who lived up to his or her advanced billing. All that being said, the definition of “turkey” is subjective. In advancing your nominee, please explain how you understand the term (see  below).
(2) Name the person and then explain, in 100 words or less, why this person deserves the “honor.” The winning entry will be selected on the basis of the “why” and not the name.
(3) The person must be a public figure (a person pervasively involved in public affairs), a limited public figure (those who have thrust themselves by their actions to the forefront of particular public controversies in order to influence the issues involved), or an involuntary public figure (one who, as the result of publicity, receives public attention, regardless of whether the person sought the publicity or not).
(4) Send in your entries either to firstname.lastname@example.org or publically nominate candidates as a comment to this PLANET entry.
(5) Employees of THE PLANET are not eligible.
(6) “Dan Valenti” is not eligible to win this “award” (in case you were thinking along those lines!). He would no doubt receive many nominations, but his agent informs THE PLANET that Mr. Valenti has won far too many awards in his long career, and he scarce has room on the mickey mantle.
(7) All entries are property of THE PLANET.
(8) The contest shall be open until 11 p.m. Sunday night, Nov. 25, 2012.
(9) The winner shall be selected during the week of Nov. 26.
(10) All decisions by the judges shall be final.
Use your imagination. The winner will be selected on that basis, and the reasons why the person selected will be given more weight as the name itself. You can make the nomination in utter seriousness or all seriousness aside. You can be venomous or sweet. Have fun with it, for that is the ultimate purpose of our contest.
The prize? Breakfast, lunch,, or dinner with THE PLANET at the fabulous Red Lion Inn, Stockbridge, Mass., on us. Please note that the recipient of the award will be invited to the meal!
Beginning today, THE PLANET will be on a much-needed holiday. Our next post will be Monday, Nov. 26. Enjoy your Thanksgiving as we shall ours. To put you in a jocular and light frame of mind, here is a video that you may enjoy. It’s called, “The Picture of Barack Obama.”
GROWTH IS RECAPITULATION,
THE RENEWING OF POTENTIAL,
OF ADVANCEMENT’S DIFFERENTIAL.
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“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”
LOVE TO ALL.