We had a chance to come back on later and correct some typos in the following story, which snuck in as a consequence of the haste in which it was written, a condition made necessary by the fact that we had an Eagle column to write, a Gazette column to finish, papers to corrent, and a full load of other writing assignments for hire. Can’t believe it. Here it is, pushing 11 p.m., and here I still sit at my desk in the Fortress of Solitude, still pecking away in our fight for Truth, Justice, and The American Way. Read on, my intrepid friends.

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Today at Vox studios on Jason Street, Larry Kratka, Claerence Fanto, and The Planet sat around a table with 3rd Berkshire District state rep candidate Mark Miller. Each of us were miked. Miller sat to my right. Across from Miller sat Chris Speranzo disguised as a empty, if corpulent, chair. Speranzo’s unused microphone rested stiffly in its stand like a dead body waiting for the meat wagon to come in for the pick-up.

For the second time in a week, Gutless Wonder Chris Speranzo slapped the electorate in the face by refusing to participate in his campaign for re-election. First time out at BCC, he cited Miller’s supposed “one-issue” candidacy as the reason for his cowardly no-show. Today, he blamed “Dan Valenti.” But it isn’t “Dan Valenti” or Mark Miller he ignored. He spit again in the faces of his constituents, who are not happy at the treatment and may express that sentiment on Nov. 2.

In a press release sent to Kratka, Spurs said he would not be attending the Valenti-moderated forum because the host/moderator (that’s Yours Truly, aka, The Planet) was “a Monster, an Ingrate, kicks the canes out from old ladies, and yells ‘theater’ in crowded fires.” That’s a quote. He also claimed The Planet could not be “objective,” having earlier endorsed Miller (see an earlier post on this site).

A couple points about “objectivity.” There is no such thing. News is made and reported but human beings. A reporter’s job is to get to the truth on behalf of the people. When I moderate a debate, that’s the person I’m standing in for, The Little Guy, who consistently gets screwed by Speranzo’s type of political thievery. I’m giving him and her a voice.

And now, if I may, let me direct a few words to the man of the hour himself:

Hey, Chris. Yeah, you there … Fatso. Let me tell you something. Since word leaked out about your duplicity in pursuing an insider-promised lifetime job at $150K a year in the needless position of clerk magistrate, you’ve been in hiding. You’re also sinking faster than the Buffalo Bills. You’ve ducked more than a giant entering a mouse hole. So certain are you that you don’t have to campaign to win an automatic victory on Nov. 2, you have refused to be open to questions — by Mark Miller, by the media, and — most important — by the electorate of your district, on whom you have once again relieved yourself. Did you give it a good shake, at least?

So what have you accomplished by refusing the advice of Jim Ruberto, John Barrett, and Smitty Pignatelli by failing to show up before the Vox microphones today? You have injected life in Miller’s campaign, given him a ton of publicity, driven people to explore his candidacy as a viable alternative to yours, and quite possibly lost an un-lose-able election. Oh yeah, there’s also this. One of the people who greased the skids for you to silently and miraculously be chosen as next clerk-mag for Central Berkshire Court is now regetting having done so.

This person reports that all the negative press coming out of Pittsfield these days about your behavior has found its way to Boston and has embarrassed some of the local bosses. The bad press also may have doomed your once sure-thing that is the courthouse post. The Planet, whose missives on your candidacy have been finding their way to important desks in the Hub through no actions of our own, is proud to have been the leading player in this torrent of coverage about your weasel instincts.

Boston these days is scared stiff about the to-be-released findings of Special investigator Paul Ware’s probe into the “pay for play” scheme in the Probation Department, one that you overlooked as a member of the House Judiciary Committee. They last thing they want is some jomoke like you coming out of Palookaville (not to Peter Arlos) bringing this kind of baggage.

Congratulations, my Right Honorable Good Friend. You may have finally shit the bed.