BY DAN VALENTI

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, April 14, 2011) — As we always do when we appear on “Good Morning, Pittsfield,” The Planet enjoyed our repartee with host John Krol in the first half. In the second half,we experienced pure fun talking about Stanley Kubrick with Jack Rubin of the new Berkshire Film Club.

Certs is a Talk Show Host. No, Certs is a City Councilor

Krol goes back and forth between being a “talk show host” and a “sitting city councilor” when it suits him. He’s a talk show host when he wants to play Mike Wallace with an opponent or Kissy Face with a GOB. He becomes a councilor when he fells the council has been attacked.

He became a “councilor” when he brought up the “phony bastard” plaster. Krol’s a sharp young man that we greatly enjoy in jousts on air and in pasttime as a friend. Normally we have to tie our entire brain behind our back when dealing with local pols, just to make it fair. With John’s it’s only half a brain. An aside: It’s I’m the city, I have T-shirts made up, two versions: First reads “I’m a Phony Bastard.” Second reads, “I’m Not a Phony Bastard.” Each features the city seal, twirling a beach ball on his nose.

The Planet’s long-in-research book on Stanley Kubrick found an outlet in talking with Rubin about “Paths of Glory,” the director’s second commercial feature (1957) that still ranks as one of the greatest anti-war films of all time. Our tome on Kubrick should be ready at the end of 2012, shortly after the Mayan prophecy about the end of the world doesn’t happen. If it does come true, oh, we got to watch a lot of cool films. Rubin’s film club debuts at 10:30 a.m. Tuesday, April 26, at the Beacon Cinema, downtown Pittsfield, with a showing of “Paths of Glory.”

On Dec. 12, 2012, we shall be watching “Dr. Stangelove, Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb.” If the Mayans are proven correct, when the end comes, we shall pretend the films is in 3D SourroundSound Wii when Slim Pickens as Major Kong rides the “Dear john” nuke into armageddon. The end may be near, but it shall also be a hanging blast.

To view the rebroadcast of this a.m.’s “GMP,” go to the show’s website or to the PCTV website. TV worth viewing.

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Krol Favors Immediate Random Drug Testing for PPD

As The Planet told Krol this morning, we are huge supporters of our men and women in blue. Nonetheless, he presented us with a “false choice” (a moth-eaten fallacy that signals your opponent has lost the debate), because we dared to bring up the story of SteroidsGate. Follow how his illogic didn’t work:

* (A) — This story would have been would have been covered up by the compliant local mainstream media. It never would have seen the light of day.

* (B) — Unlike our commercial brethren, who have to kow-tow to the GOBs, The Planet is Unbought and Unbossed. Hence, The Planet believes in the people’s Right to Know about the behavior of their public servants. When We the People pay for the game, they have a right to know whether the playing field is level.

* (C) SteroidsGate as a story is far from finished. It still includes the reasonable question of how much use of steroids use is there in the Pittsfield Police Department, if any, beyond Officer David Kirchner’s? That A-B-C sequence then triggered Krol’s rhetorical gambit: Because The Planet is still asking questions, it follows The Planet must by inference be bashing the police. Lame and tame as rhetoric goes.

The Planet and the PPD: On the Same Side, Actually, if that Side is Truth, Justice, and the American Way

It was an absurd position that The Planet corrected. We have pointed out ad infinitum ad nauseum there most cops are good, forthright, and a service to the city. Mom, apple pie, pink ribbons in little girls’ hair, and the PPD: four of a kind. We pointed out to my Right Honorable Good Friend, as he revealed his role in playing “fetch” for the GOBs, that we agreed with him: the PPD does a good job. All the more reason, then, to root out any corruption, should it be there. Any. And to do that, one needs to ask questions.

Asking questions in Pittsfield is seen by the GOBs as treason, a seditious action that must mean you are an anarchist, the mad bomber, and an online journalist and broadcaster looking for cheap ways to drive up the ratings.

Not.

Our ratings are rising daily solely on the strength of our writing and the material we present. That and word of mouth: one tells two, two tells four, four tells eight …

The Planet asked Krol, Yes or No, if he was in favor of random drug testing for the PPD. After hemming and hawing, he said “yes.” W applaud his position. now it’s time, JK, to prove that on this issue you are more than just talk. It’s time to walk.

Will John Krol file a petition with the city council calling for the institution of random drug testing for all PPD staff? The chief, the PPD union, the DA, the mayor, and virtually everyone else you ask favors this. Therefore, we ask our Right Honorable Good Friend to join with another two or three council members to put pressure on all parties to agree to this procedure. The inncent will have nothing to fear.

Transparent or Not: Depends on your P.O.V.

Chief Michael Wynn says he and his department have been transparent with this case. Of course he does. The Planet believes the chief believes this. We, however, come at this from the side of the 4th Estate, the press and the people’s Right to Know. In other words, it’s the age-old battle of the Institution and Press. The want to keep its secrets hidden and We the People need to know what’s going on.

The media SHOULD be the catalyst in this process, but, led by the toothless, gumming Boring Broadsheet, We The People don’t have a chance in Pittsfield.

And then along came The Planet.

Savior and Messiah? Is that who we are, as some want to paint us? No. Demons and the Father of Lies? No. The Planet is a universe for truth, justice, and the American Way. The Planet is one of the lone safeguards of democracy right now in our beloved city of Pittsfield.

The Granger Memo: 1,482 Words, with Valenti Mentioned Thrice by Name

In another wrinkle related to the developments of SteroidsGate, on Monday, PPD Capt. David Granger circulated a three-page e-mail on Monday to the officers of the department. The e-mail is unusual in many respects, the first being its length: 1,482 words of body text. Our source did a word count.

The purpose of the e-mail seems to be to (a) reassure the department that the command staff is sticking up for the officers and (b) to warn the worker(s) who are sending Valenti lies and other information. As one reads the e-mail, one gets the impression that (a) is a cover for (b), in other words, using the pretext of rallying the troops, the missive seems to have as a main purpose to warn and threaten my sources.

It’s More than one Informant, or, the more they Kabosh, the More Officers are Talking

The e-mail was worded in a way that Capt. Granger isn’t sure if The Planet’s Deep Throats are one person or more. We can help him out: It’s more. The Planet was allowed to read a hard copy of the e-mail, quickly, we might add, and take notes. We also have at our disposal a near-photographic memory. We are pursuing avenues to get the actual e-mail, and we have reason to believe that will be successful.

It’s an interesting letter, full of revelations about the inside atmosphere at the Allen Street PPD. The Planet agrees totally with Capt. Granger when he writes he is all for the truth being shared regardless of whether it’s good or bad for the department. Our solidarity with this sentiment is proven by revealing the existence of the truth about the e-mail: Namely, he sent it. It exists. That is a truth we are sharing. Tomorrow or soon, we hope to present specific, actual content.

The letter to the troops says much about the department’s attitudes toward whistleblowers. command doesn’t like them. If Capt. Granger’s letter to the troops was meant to be intimidating — accusing The Planet’s sources of being gutless and cowardly by spreading half truths and twisted facts — it seems not to have achieved its purpose.

The Planet found about about the e-mail that day. We read it the next day. Troops, we can say if they were horses, were chomping at the bit to let us know of this development.

As we say, we hope to share more of the contents of this document tomorrow.

Our shorthand came in handy when we scrawled this tidbit. Here, Capt. Granger is talking about our sources: “Suffice it to say that the individual(s) has some problems and personal issues in his/her life and when the camouflage is pulled away more than likely would reveal a train wreck of a life.”

That is not how these men/women impress us.

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WITH HIGH TEA AT THE RITZ CALLING, AND OUR CRESTED BLUE-BLAZER WAITING FOR US AT “THE CLUB,” WE BID YOU ADIEU WITH, “OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.” LOVE TO ALL.