By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

The Courts are ‘Funny’ that Way

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, July 21, 2011) — THE PLANET, being open minded as all good journalists and writers must be, has few “nevers” in our orbit. Like “always,” the word “never” is an absolute term, allowing for no exceptions. We do not, however, “never say never.”

THE PLANET is never happy to see people mess up big time. The younger they are, the more senseless it seems though more understandable, since youth — while conferring physical prime and prowress — dissuades the arrival of wisdom, maturity, and judgment.

In any case, THE PLANET could never judge something as serious as a rape case. In the case of Aaron Kincaid, Richard Lampron Jr., and William Jansen, the courts made the determinations of justice, which we and all members of society are bound to accept.

Probation, but When is Probation Not Probation?

According to reporter Andrew Amelinckx in today’s Boring Broadsheet, Kincaid pleaded guilty to four counts of rape in September last year following legal machination that overturned his original conviction, took into account time served, and sentenced him to two years probabtion, plus a requirement that he register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Lampron was convicted and is in prison.

According to the BB, Jansen pleaded guilty to a lesser count of concealing and compounding a felony after District Attorney David Capeless offered to drop a rape charge. Judge John Agostini accepted the deal. Agostini order Jansen to serve two years probation. Three men, two pleas, two assignments of probation.

Here’s where this leads: Will Jansen (and has Kincaid, for that matter) report to the probation office as required, or will be elect The Stracuzzi Option, a provision that apparently applies only to the Berkshire County probation office? You’ll recall the undoing of former Greylock Federal Credit Union Big Shot Angelo Stracuzzi.

He Got Hisself in a Terrible Jam

Stracuzzi got himself in a bit of a jam in Biddeford, Maine, on two consecutive days in July 2005. As a consequence of his encounters with two teenage boys, 13 and 15, Biddeford Police charged Stracuzzi with fiddling, diddling, daddling, and doodling. His lawyers cut a deal with York County prosecutors. Two most serious charges — fiddling and diddling — were dropped. The two other charged — daddling and doodling — were entered, Stracuzzi admitted to them, and the judge:

* Suspended his one-year jail sentence

* Ordered him to serve one year of probation then allowed Angelo to serve the sentence in Berkshire County’s probation office.

* Ordered psychological counseling

Thus, jail time went away, a magical act of vanishing worthy of Bombo the Great. As for probation, well, Angelo’s best bud Cliffy Nilan just happened headed the Berkshire County Probation Department. It was a fantastic coincidence (but certainly no “Godincidence”) that Nilan also occupied a top position in Greylock’s management and board structure. No conflict of interest there, by golly by gosh!

And that’s when Angelo accepted The Stracuzzi Option. That consisted of not showing up to meet with a probation officer. Stracuzzi told the BB that he was asked at the desk if he wanted to see an officer, and he politely declined. Nilan hasn’t said much, and state officials kept changing their story after they looked into it.

As for the required psychological counseling, THE PLANET hasn’t seen any evidence that Angelo received it. We don’t think he did, but we don’t know and would be open to anyone who can furnish evidence of same. Since medical records are confidential, it would likely have to be Angelo himself who provides us evidence. Till then, we will believe he simply ignored the fullness of that court order in the same way that he blew off probation, apparently with Cliffy’s help. Nice to have friends when your down and out.

So to the best of anyone’s knowledge — again, if anyone has better information, THE PLANET would love to have it to set the record straight — Stracuzzi blew town (no double meanings intended) and ignored two court orders. Amazingly, the matter just sort of … poof! … went away. No harm, no foul. This precedent may come in handy for Kincaid and Jansen.

When Asked “Do you want to see a probation Office,” take The Stracuzzi Option and Politely Decline.

THE PLANET consulted out legal staff, headed by the Honorable Tiberius C. Fruitjuice, Esq. Sir Tiberius advises that Jansen and Kincaid to opt for The Stracuzzi Option when it comes to serving their probation. In other words, when they report and are asked (you sittin’ down?) IF THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE AN OFFICER!!!, which — if you would believe Angelo and Cliffy, is Standard Operating Procedure there, as in, “Happens every day” — they should say no, leave, and not report anymore. No harm, no foul.

We could say, “Ah, but that could never happen” in a real criminal justice system. But THE PLANET never says never.

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MORE TO COME, LATER ON THE PLANET. UNTIL THEN,

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE”

LOVE TO ALL.