By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, SATURDAY AUG. 28, 2011) — After taking preparations at the ranch for Irene, THE PLANET will watch with detachment what follows. We will not become “engaged” to this storm but simply act and react to whatever happens. Beyond that, we find it useless to waste energy worrying on problems that may or may not occur. If they do happen, then we shall address the situation, THEN and THERE. If they don’t happen, we’ve saved ourselves a bundle of angst.

No Tube, No Boob, and Ice Cubes

Our perspective may be a bit different, since we took out TV our behind the barn and gave it two in the hat on that glorious Sept. 1, 2008. Presently, the only time THE PLANET “enjoys” (quotes needed) the Idiot Box is when we are in hotels or restaurants. Even at that, during our last two hotel stays (within the past two weeks), we didn’t turn on the blasted box. We have also read little about Irene, saved for following the track at the National Weather Service. We’d rather laze in a chair in the lower 40, watching the animals, sipping iced tea cooled by cubes, and smoking a Padilla Habano, Torpedo, 6″ x 48 ring.

This means we haven’t had The Weather Channel to turn us into meteorological zombies, or metzoms. Metzoms panic at the sign of EVERY potential weather issue. Metzoms stock up on dried goods and canned good when they see on Doppler Radar three snowflakes hovering over Lake Michigan, tracking east. Having heard and seen THE SAME WEATHER REPORTS in an endless loop for a period of days, as is the case for Irene, metzoms turn their brain off and decide to WORRY.

Let them. We shall drink Irene as the fates ordain.

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TFB: In the Proud Tradition of Larkin and Larded

Getting back to more amusing topics, we bring you these tidbits from Campaign ’11, state rep’s version.

Yesterday, “The Stooley” mentioned Tricia Farley-Bouvier’s website. The Stooley noted that when a debate occurred on Topix about the truthfulness of the content, the site was rapidly modified. To that, we can’t attest, but we can say that TFB’s home page has this statement:

My mission is threefold: 1)  To generate job growth by promoting workforce development and small business expansion, 2) to marshall [sic; correct usage calls for one “l”] the resources of the state to enhance the quality of education available in Pittsfield, and 3) to work collaboratively with my fellow legislators to develop a responsible state budget that preserves the social safety net for those most in need.

Ladies and gentleman, what does this say, beyond the vagueness and generalization? Reading this is like watching a film with the focus ring on the projector having spasms. The statement says she for jobs, education, and budgets. Wow! And who isn’t?

Another Deal Made in the Back Room at Remo’s

Such gruel isn’t even porridge or pabulum. In THE PLANET’s experience, this is the type of statement that the comfy front-runner makes, you know, the one who possibly knows something we don’t, such as “Relax, kid, the fix is in.”

Look again at those amorphous words. They say nothing, they look deemed inoffensive, and they are predicated upon the belief that TFB won’t be held accountable by the voters after she get in office.

Peter Larkin quit that same post of 3rd Berkshire rep in a secret deal to set up himself Fat in the dreaded private sector. The GOBs then met and gave the rep’s job the No Show The Larded Lout. That, too, was done in secret. When Da Boys wanted a stooge in the middle of the county courts, they decided Larded was their dupe. In another closed room (the back room at Del Gallos), the Lout was given the job, $110,000 + benefits + plus lifetime sinecure, heavy emphasis on “sin.”

Now they want us to believe that TFB’s candidacy wasn’t created in the same fashion. I can hear Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski, the average voter, at the Whopper and Big Mac: “Stop it, you’re killing me.”

Fool us once (Larkin), shame on you. Fool us twice (Larded), shame on us. Fool us three times (TFB), and We The People might as well take the pipe. On that occasion, I may go into Dan Bianchi’s racket and start selling gas to help people off themselves.

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Miller’s Tale: State Rep Candidate is a Model of Integrity

Another candidate is doing it differently. His name is Mark Miller. He wasn’t annointed in the back rooms. He’s fought his way up with shirt sleeves rolled and ready to work for We the People.

Go to Mark Miller’s website if you want to see electronic dynamism, not in terms of aesthetics (who cares about such whistles and bells?) or fluff clouds (such as TFB’s “deeeeppppp” goals, but content that says something about the man, his stands, and his rationale.

Unlike Farley-Bouvier, Miller hasn’t ignored the embarrassing performance of his two predecessors, Larkin and Larded, who each abandoned the seat shortly after winning re-election to take fat new jobs that they had been secretly setting up for themselves by sucking up to the “right” people.

MILLER ‘WON’T TREAT THE JOB AS A STEPPING STONE’

At markmiller2011.org, Miller says he “won’t treat the job as a stepping stone.”

He also effectively addresses the concern raised by some, including Mayor Jimmy Ruberto, that electing anyone other than a Democrat — especially someone from a Third Party — would be disastrous for the city of Pittfsfield.

This is what Miller writes:

“Some people are bound to ask, wouldn’t we be safer with another Democrat? After all, the Democrats control 90 percent of the seats in the Legislature. So let’s look at the facts. Pittsfield has higher unemployment, lower wages, and lower per-pupil spending than the statewide average.

“Unemployment, low wages, and under-investment in our kids’ education. That’s the price Pittsfield is paying for one-party politics and business-as-usual in the State House. It’s time for real change.

“It’s time for a state representative who can take care of his district without having to toe the party line. Somebody who can make honest and fair agreements with colleagues from the two major parties. Somebody who will push for the things we all care about — like Medicare for all (a.k.a. single-payer health insurance) and combating climate change — and bring home the bacon.

“That’s what I will do.”

Familiarity Breeds Respect

THE PLANET has known Miller for a lot of years, first as a colleague when he ran the old Berkshire Eagle, when it was a wonderful NEWSPAPER; second as a citizen activist; and third as a candidate for state rep. Trust me on this one, folks: If Miller says he will do something, you can rely on him working as hard as he can to live up to his word.

Miller is that unusual breed of politician. He actually speaks his mind, means what he says, and says what he means.

What has the Democratic stranglehold on state politics produced for this state? Since they have controlled Beacon Hill for decades, why hasn’t Massachusetts turned into Shangri-La?

The answer to this is that one-party rule automatically turns into monopolized corruption. The Fat Cats gets fatter, ethics get ignored, and the Grease forms an oily, slippery layer over the Commonwealth … or haven’t you heard about the indicted fates of the past three Speakers of the House.

THE PLANET is not a member of any political party nor will we ever be. We only know that too many of one party is bad. On that basis and that basis alone, when all other considerations are equal, we support Republicans and Third Parties as candidates for statewide office.

All things are NOT equal in the race for Third Berkshire rep. There is one candidate who stands — who towers — above all. That candidate’s name is Mark Miller.

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MUCH MORE TO GO, INCLUDING A MEETING WITH A COUPLE OF PLANET MEDIA BOOKS’ AUTHORS, JERRI CHAPLIN AND PAUL MILENSKI. WITH THAT, WE SAY …

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.