By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, OCT. 20, 2011) — It appears that the biggest political swindle since the Consent Decree, Teapot Dome, and the Cardiff Giant  has been successfully pulled off by the GOB, the Special Interests, and other Interested Parties with a (financial and otherwise) stake in the outcome.

CHESS PLAYING FOR THE HIGHEST STAKES … BUT THE GAME WAS RIGGED!

You have to admire the planning, the chess playing, and the subterfuge, even though for the electoral process and for people’s confidence in government, this reeks more than Hill 78 on a blistering August day.

The elements of the plot seem simple, but in orchestrating them, particularly through the obstacle course of two elections — yes, for the crooks, elections are not opportunities to seize but obstacles to be overcome, because they see voters as stooges who can potentially derail their plans — the planners had to be precise. They played with a shaved deck and cheating. They cheated because they get to make the rules. That’s why there was a Special Election held separately from the General Election. That was the key to the plot, as inside sources are telling THE PLANET.

The following information comes from several sources, but one in particular who claims knowledge of the plot.

STEP-BY-STEP, SLOWLY THEY TURNED …

These are the elements, as best as THE PLANET can piece it together from the ample amount of evidence, using a large dollop of inductive reasoning, and working the phones with several key sources:

(1) Back in July 2010, Lt. Gov. Tim Murray comes to Pittsfield as the conclusion of a series of secret meetings with local officials, including Mayor Ruberto, the two Gerrys (Doyle and Lee), and other Usual Suspects. The meeting, held in the back room at Del Gallos, includes 3rd Berkshire District Rep. Chris “No Show” Speranzo. Remo gives them drinks and pizza, on the house. There money is no good at Remo’s.

(2) Speranzo is up for re-election in November 2010. That’s Key No. 1 to the plan.

(3) The plan calls for No Show to run for re-election but never tell the voters that soon after winning, he will resign his seat and become the next clerk magistrate of central Berkshire District Count, a lifetime post that pays $110,000 a year plus a generous benefits package. No Show gladly licks the boots of his masters in return for his lifetime payday.

(4) The plotters know that getting No Show approved by the Governor’s Council will be a slam dunk, since the panel is split along party lines, with Democrats having the deciding vote.

(5) Thus, No Show doesn’t even bother to campaign. He ducks debates and public appearances. He refuses every attempt by THE PLANET for a discussion about all this, including carrier pigeon.  Meanwhile, Green Party newbie Mark Miller campaigns hard. He gives No Show a scare, but No Show gets his seat back.

(5a) As an aside, No Show is also know as “Larded” in honor of how he was given the seat gift wrapped when Peter Larkin got re-elected, never telling the voters he was going to quit for the private sector. That set up the first special election, in which Larded beat Terry Kinnas. Otherwise, Larded would have been unelectable. No surprise there, since, in the private sector, he’s unemployable. It’s not far-fetched to see that the seeds of this plot began with Larkin’s resignation, when the GOB tapped the pathetic Larded for the state rep’s job.

(6) No Show, as planned, resigns. That sets up a Special Election. Common sense would say, OK, we have a General Election coming up anyway, in November, and we can put that on the ballot. A double bill would handily take care of both. No, the GOB says. That would confuse We The People (as if they gave a crud about the electorate). We The People are far too stupid to handle the situation. Actually, they fear We The People. They know they won’t have a chance to win the seat legitimately, so they decide that the 3rd Berkshire Seat will be determined by a $40,000 election (paid for by taxpayers, oh the irony!) in two phases, each conducted in between the two phases of the General Election. Now THAT will confuse the peons.

(7) Back in July 2010 (see Step 1) as part of Larded’s assumption as clerk mag, the GOBs decide they need a compliant stooge (oxymoron!). They decide on Tricia Farley-Bouvier. She is sooooooooo beholding to them, and that will assure that once she gets to Boston, she will “play ball.” She won’t rock the boat. The leadership will have her vote, and it will throw some doughballs her way. The potential problem of her inexperience and the fact that she’s a light-weight (figuratively speaking) leads to …

(8) The appointment of TFB to a fancy new title in Mayor Ruberto’s office at a $15,000 raise. TFB goes from junior secretary (admin assistant) to Chief of Staff and Director of Lots of Important Stuff. With her new title and money, she can use that on her resume when she stumps for state rep.

(9) With no one paying attention in the invisible election, she can easily sake by the massive inconsistency of being so pro-education for Pittsfield at the same time that she takes two of her chittlins out of the Pittsfield public school system in favor of the superior Lenox schools. The Lenox teams are known as The Millionaires.

(10) Everyone from Gov. Patrick on down, all good loyal Democrats, will provide TFB with an instant organization all all the money she wants. Was all of the money, in-kind services, and other organization support transferred legally? We don’t know the answer to that question. As for Mark Miller, Pam Malumphy, and Mark Jester, well, tough cookies. They have to organize and raise funds on their own. They won’t have Big Daddy to hold their hand to do ALL the heavy lifting.

(11) Having the Special Election in September (primary) and October (final) guarantees that We The People will be confused and — MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL — there will be low turnout.

(12) For the primary, the GOBs convince Ward 2 councilor Peter White to run for state rep. White poses no threat. He couldn’t possibly win, but he will split the vote so that the kid Ryan Scago can’t shock the world. White, innocent as he is, doesn’t realize he’s being played for D&D (deaf and dumb, in street lingo). They appease White by saying, no problem. If (they mean “when”) you lose for state rep, you run a sticker campaign. We’ll get you in to reclaim the ward 2 seat. Guaranteed. Actually, they don’t know that. White may get beat in Ward 2, but they don’t care about Peter White. He has served his purpose, and now he’s disposable.

(13) Low turnout triggers TFB’s narrow win.

(14) For the General Election, they realize they have three strong candidates opposing the Chosen One. They’re not worried about Mark Jester, since he’s a Dreaded Republican. Not enough votes there about which to fret. With Mark Miller and Pam Malumphy, though, that’s another story. Both are former Democrats. Both have political experience. Both will tap into the electorate’s anger. And, fortunately, both will cancel each other out.

(15) The GOB got the scare of their life in Miller’s near upset of Larded in November 2010. They are afraid of his bid. They get the break of their lives when Malumphy decides she’s going to run as an independent. That prevents a smear campaign against Miller, because they know Malumphy will take care of Miller for them. They also know that Malupmhy has burned too many bridges within the party to win. She is the perfect person to help assure that her enemy, TFB, wins. It’s a delicious irony for the GOB. Not only will they get their girl in, they will see a girl they despise go down to her fourth straight election defeat, rendering her Officially Unelectable. AN INTERESTING QUESTION THAT KNOW ONE HAS ANSWERED YET IS WHY DID MALUMPHY RUN? Was this her decision, or was there something much deeper involved? We can’t answer. We just know that Malumphy’s presence prevented Miller’s victory and assured Tricia’s.

(16) Or so the GOB hoped. Even then, they knew it would close. Internal polling done for TFB indicated “Too close for Comfort.” They worried sleeplessly about Miller pulling off the upset. Solution: Bring Gov. Deval Patrick in for the photo op on the Friday before the election. Have the Boring Broadsheet pump it up, big.

(17) In the campaign, especially late, avoid all debates or meaningful discussion of issues. Don’t let TFB have a chance to shoot herself in the head. Give her the talking points and tell here, “Honey, stick to the script.”

(18) Election Day. Special Election, held at a time that will assure the lightest of turnouts. Success! Only 20-something percent vote. Low 20s, their polls say, will translate into victory. And that’s what happens.

(19) TFB beats Miller by little more than a percentage point. Of the total electorate, Miller loses by fractions of a percentage point. But a win is a win is a win. The GOB celebrates. They pop the Dom late into the night, thanking God that 80% of the unwashed slobs (they meant We The People) didn’t vote.

(20) And so TFB, unqualified as she might be but with portfolio, goes to Boston. Like the plot to kill JFK, the plan is pulled off brilliantly. As with JFK’s death, the victory comes with a huge added bonus. It assures that We The People will be even more disgusted and become more jaded, thus ensuring the snakes will retain their stranglehold on the republic and the democratic process.

And that, according to the evidence and sources, is how they did it: The Perfect Murder. Victim: We The People.

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WHILE YOU CHEW ON THAT, WE MOVE ON TO MORE DEADLINES AND WORDS. WE NEED SOME FRESH AIR, SO …

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.