By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, JULY 8, 2013) — With a budget of $137 million, one that has grown at a startling proportionate rate well past the nosedive of the local and particularly the city of Pittsfield’s economy, Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski would figure that at least they were getting more for their money. As we know, “it ain’t necessarily so.”

In fact, it’s not true at all. They aren’t even getting level service. As tax-paying, law-abiding citizens, their services have been cut. Unlike the Pittsfield School Department, the Kapanskis suffer actual reductions when government trims their services (as we  all know, when the PSD laments “cuts,” it means a slowing of its rate of growth).

One small example: the city’s parks. We’ve grown all too used to seeing unkept, locked, trashed, and weedy parks. Long are the stories of citizens chipping in with their own time, talent, and treasure to try to stem the tide of neglect. During the recent heat wave, did you venture to the public beach at either Onota or Pontoosuc lakes? Did the sight sicken you? THE PLANET refers to the strewn litter, soiled diapers, the usual fast food wrappers, and even drug paraphernalia. Did you see any sign of docks and buoys that once festooned the public beaches? Any lifeguards? Any clean rest rooms? Did you see any indication the lakes were assets in which the city wanted to invest? We thought not.

The parks system, once the foundation of recreation in the city, has been allowed to wither by neglect into neglect. Just as it did with Wahconah Park, the city delivered a classic self-fulfilling prophecy with its park system. It abandoned the parks and then lamented that the parks were abandoned.

Once the backbone of the parks in summer, the playgrounds mostly stand idle. Years ago, the city fully staffed more than 15 parks. This year, it can only manage three. These will be Pitt, Clapp, and Deming. Better than nothing, for sure, but truly — Is that the best Pittsfield can do?

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WANTED BY THE CITY: EIGHT SENIOR CITIZENS WILLING TO TOIL FOR NEXT TO NOTHING

Are you 85 and have trouble moving around? Are you a senior citizen who can’t afford to pay your astronomical tax bill after you’ve blown your fixed income on such frivolities as food, medicine, and fuel? Are you gumming cat food because “people food” has become too expensive. Mayor Dan Bianchi has just the thing for you: He wants you to become an indentured servant of the city.

Yes, that’s right folks, if you act now, you can be one of the lucky ones to work for free, chopping cotton under the summer sun for Mayor Bianchi. You must be over 60 years old and bled dry by city taxes, to make minimum wage. For all that, you can earn a tax credit good for up to $1,000. At Matt Foley might say, “Well whoop-de friggin’ do. You keep that up, and you’ll find yourself living in a van by the river.”

Properties must be residential and owned by the share cropper in question. Up to two residents per property can apply, but even if both of you work, you will still not collect more than $1,000. That’s a nice way for the city to get the work of two old fossils for the price of one. The mayor’s office tells us that active city employees are not eligible for the program. City workers, especially secretaries of superintendent’s, aren’t expected to work for or provide money for services, such as having a house built.

Hurry, because the city will only allow eight seniors to engage in slave labor.

“The initial pilot program will allow the city departments to design and operate a program over the next three months,” Bianchi said. He wants to city to capitalize on “the vast array of knowledge and skills of its senior citizens.” These include dumpster diving, collecting pop bottles and soda cans for the nickel rebate, digging coal out of railroad slag, and other such useful skills.

Workers will choose from various service opportunities. The most popular one is expected to be pushing 200-pound boulders up the sliding hill at Clapp Park. Deep-sea diving in Silver Lake will also be offered. Asked why the city needs such tasks performed, the mayor responded in classic form: “Why? Because they’re there.”

Apparently, the mayor thinks this is all he can do to stem the exit strategy of seniors, many of whom have had to sell their homes because of the city’s punishingly steep property taxes. Apparently, neither he, the city council, nor the school committee ever thought about another approach, such as reducing the size and cost of government to allow straight tax reductions. It can be done, which is why every official body that had a say on the crushing tax burden killing seniors chose NOT TO LOWER TAXES.

And for that, most of the bums will “win” re-election.

As THE PLANET said up above, is that the best Pittsfield can do?

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FROM THE “IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU KNOW” DEPARTMENT 

 Amy Capitanio Koenig is Berkshire County Probate and Family Court‘s new chief probation officer. Koenig is a young-un, hitting the chronometer at 33 years. Seems kind of green for such an important position, don’t you think? Chief Probation Officer of County Superior Court Cliff Nilan (is he still around?) says Koenig is the youngest in the state.

Digging deeply into the records, THE PLANET learns that Koenig is Ward 3 city councilor Paul Capitanio‘s niece. Hmmmmm, a mere coincidence, we’re sure. We also find out that Koenig worked closely with Sheriff Tom Bowler on an inmate program. These and other signs indicate deep ties to the local political establishment. We wonder: Is Koenig a BEEPER?

“Amy is a smart woman who will do good for the people that have to go to that court,” Nilan said. There are a lot of guys who know a thing or seven about smart women, and we would think Cliff Nilan to be of their number. Nilan made no reference to Koenig’s selection only after the usual “nationwide search.”

THE PLANET wishes Koenig well.

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“It’s so hot I want to take off my skin.” — Daedalus

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.