By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, SUPER BOWL WEEKEND EDITION, JAN. 30-FEB. 1, 2015) — Last night (Thursday) on the latest live edition of PLANET VALENTI TELEVISION, just before air time, we went outside the PC-TV studios and scooped up a cup of real-ta’-goodness Pittsfield snow. During the course of the broadcast, THE PLANET made use of the prop for a few cheap laughs — ah, nothing more pointed than the seriousness of humor. (ED NOTE: The show can be seen in rerun today on Channel 16 at 11:30 a.m., 3 p.m., 6:30 p.m., and 11 p.m.).

We left relatively untouched the lousy job The Bianchi Administration, command central for failure, has done or not done all year with snow removal. By all accounts, it is the worst in memory. THE PLANET will go one further: How about the worst ever? It doesn’t add up, folks: We’ve had less snow than a typical Berkshire winter, and yet Pittsfield roads, particularly the side streets, have been left in worse shape. Is doesn’t add up. Mayor Incompetence declares martial law, bans driving for two days because of a whopping  4.5 inches of snow, and at the end of it, the roads are still in bad shape.

Slip-Sliding Away Thanks to Mayor Incompetence

Side streets have been left unattended, with large patches of snow-pack and ice dotting them like buried mines all winter. Our own experience on Wednesday sums it up well. The Planetmobile heads north into the city. On South Street, we take a left onto George. As many of you know, George slopes downhill into Elizabeth. We were going perhaps 15 mph maybe less when we braked in order to take a right onto Elizabeth. The brakes worked fine but The Planetmobile didn’t stop. It slid a half-car-length into Elizabeth because of the snow pancakes that had been placed on the griddle by poor, half-assed plowing.

This is a public safety issue. Lives are at risk because of this mayor’s lack of leadership. But why? Exactly what are the changes in the way snow is being handled under Mayor Dan Bianchi as opposed to the eight years of Mayor Jimmy Ruberto? The flip answer and perhaps the best one was the presence of der Wunderbarrett, John Barrett III, a man who was the Picasso of the Plows when it came to snow removal. When Barrett was calling the shots, roads were clean and drivers safe. Barrett himself, in true cowboy fashion, literally drove the streets checking up on the job being done. He would not hesitate to chew out a plow jockey for just going through the motions.

If Barrett saw or got wind of a plow speeding along a major thoroughfare such as East Street, waking a wave of snow onto some homeowners just shoveled sidewalk, he would order a redo — after reading the riot act to the errant plow operator. Ruberto called for no ridiculous driving bans. Ruberto didn’t, like Bianchi did, fine motorists $500 for driving during the ban. Ruberto was smart enough to have Barrett on board for the winter. That’s leadership rather than the ineptitude and Amateur Hour Pittsfield has been forced to endure for more than three years now.

But, what specifically has changed? What was done then that’s not being done now? How can the city better manage this job, which, difficult as it may be, will never be mistaken for rocket science, brain surgery, or mapping the human genome? What resources are needed to get the job done? And where is the accountability, the consequences, for the maladroit performance we’ve seen from the Bianchi Administration?

Bianchi Failed in the Clutch

One commenter to this column pointed out that this was a statewide ban, ordered by Gov. Charlie Baker. That is correct. The implication that it was out of the mayor’s control, however, is incorrect. Local conditions must prevail in a situation like this. The governor issued a One Size Fits All edict that did not take into account local conditions.

It was clear early on in the storm’s progression, the track showed it about 50 miles east of the “Snowmageddon” projection. That was the time, if there ever was one, for the mayor to get on the phone, inform the governor that we weren’t in harm’s way — snow’s way, rather — and that the city would not be adhering to the ban. The governor would not have objected.

THE PLANET did not have a need to be outside during the light snowfall. Common sense tells us to stay in when the streets are slick. If we had the need, though, we would have driven carefully, slowly … and fearlessly. We would have told any cop or Statie that a couple inches of snow were not a match for our Focus, and we would have politely reminded the officer that we, The Private Citizen, own the streets.

The mayor did nothing except panic. There’s no other word for it. Bianchi did not employ common sense or initiative. He did not advocate for his city. Instead, he folded faster than Al Nolli‘s accordion. He ordered a two-day driving ban for 4.5 inches of snow, and even with that, the streets of Pittsfield were left dangerously passable with neither salt nor sand dropped.

THE PLANET checks that. One 73-year-old homeless man was seen talking to himself while emptying out packets of salt that he stole from Burger King onto North Street. The mayor was paying him $85 an hour. That’s Bianchi’s new Snow Czar, appointed when he snuck through a restructuring of the DPW without council consent or approval. If Our Right Honorable Good Friends have any guts or self-respect, they will vote in favor of Chris Connell’s petition for the mayor to rescind the order and subject it to council review and deliberation.

Council Needs to Investigate

THE PLANET has a suggestion. We urge our Right Honorable Good Friends on the Pittsfield city council to convene an investigation to find the answers. The council has this power under the new charter. It can even subpoena witnesses. It would be a worthwhile exercise in civics and public safety to bring in the mayor, DPW chief Bruce Collingwood, and other relevant witnesses, and under oath get some answers. The probe wouldn’t take long and it might be of considerable use in the remaining snow window that Pittsfield has remaining.

When it comes to the snows of yesterday and today, something is not being done that should be done, that used to be done. What is it?

What’s going on? Citizens and Taxpayers need answers.

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“Gentlemen, you can’t fight here! This is the war room! — Dialog from Stanley Kubrick‘s classic, Dr. Strangelove, or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb, (1963).

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.