By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, APRIL 6, 2015) — Craig Gaetani, to adapt the old Martin & Rossi joke, warbles in three tones: “loud, louder and ‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today …'” From a chair in the parlor of his home on Friday, April 3, the pugnacious, expanding violet announced his intention to run for mayor of Pittsfield in this year’s election.

He joins — no one, actually, since no one is on the ballot until hopefuls file required number of certified signatures. Nonetheless, until such time, THE PLANET can report that The Water Wizard “joins” the already declared city clerk, Linda Tyer, in the race. Two other men, including the mayor, have expressed interest but have not formally announced their intentions.

CRAIG GAETANI: In the race for mayor. (Photo by Ben Garver of The Berkshire Eagle)

If you like cliches, you might say Gaetani threw his hat in the ring, but he doesn’t wear a hat — except when it’s c-c-c-cold. At the moment, the political landscape freezes in below-zero atrophy. More accurately, you could say he threw his jousting gear, his Everlast speed-bag gloves, and just about everything else into the ring. Alas, THE PLANET didn’t see a kitchen sink amongst the collection.

If Gaetani wins this race, the corner office shall be renovated in non-neutral shades by the time he’s done. Judging by his comments, the Vietnam vet, scientist, educator, physicist, and electronics gadget guy will overturn tables, kick out the money changers, and clean house. The corner office won’t be in the corner. It will be everywhere else — or nowhere at all — something captured well by his official campaign slogan: “Gaetani: Real Change.”

Suffice it to say, as he himself does, that if he wins, “Pittsfield’s going to see a different kind of mayor.” This former director of worldwide marketing for Krofta Technologies won’t have to worry about product differentiation from the rest of mayoral field, unless you’re the kind of person who would miss a charging bull in a tiny pasture.

‘First Act as Mayor’: Firing Collingwood

Gaetani said that his “first act as mayor” would be the firing of Public Services commissioner Bruce Collingwood. Gaetani said Collingwood “cost the city $1.2 million” in 2011 by not implementing some relatively simple and inexpensive upgrades he and his partner, Dr. Lawrence K. Wang, recommended for the city’s water treatment plant in Hinsdale. Working for Dr. Milos Krofta, Gaetani and Wang designed and installed the water facility there in the mid-80s at a savings Gaetani and Wang estimate to be about $150 million. Gaetani says the two men have installed six other such plants over the years at other locations throughout the country. He also blasted Collingwood for the negligence in road maintenance and care, especially the disastrous job this winter.

He said he would offer Collingwood’s position to Dr. Wang. Gaetani said he was appalled at how little technical understanding Collingwood and other city officials have. He pointed out that Dr. Wang holds 29 U.S. patents and “between 10 and 15 foreign patents.”

Gaetani said he would drive efficiency throughout city government. In policy matters, he said he “would clearly follow the lead of The People. I plan to be a person who listens to everybody.” He said he “would follow their lead, every single time,” noting that The Bianchi Administration has done the opposite, ignoring citizens and taxpayers while the mayor voted himself and department heads large pay raises. He called the Administration “the worst in city history.” As for Bianchi, Gaetani says, “He’s not intelligent. He’s lazy, and he’s not accomplishing too much.”

Gaetani promised “to be a strong mayor,” which he defined as one who is “responsible to The People.”

As mayor, he said he would quickly begin a review of all city department prior to the submission of his first budget. What would be “on the table,” THE PLANET asked?

“Absolutely everything.”

Say what you will about his brusque, prickly manner, which some find bullying and off-putting. Others welcome his unusual, pounding style, saying only a person not concerned about the niceties will have the guts to take on the massive corruption that has overtaken city politics.

He wants to clean house.

Cuts Wills Start With School Department

Gaetani said since the Pittsfield School Department consumes the largest share of the city’s $144 million budget (more than $100 million counting school expenses, transportation, health care, and other benefits), he would first start the house cleaning there, with the administrative ranks, citing the top-heavy layer of administrative bureaucracy. He accused the school administration and school committee of “continuing to go roughshod over the citizens.”

Gaetani said that as mayor and a member of the school committee, he would work tirelessly to change that.

He said as a former teacher (10 years teaching science courses at Pittsfield High School), he understands the value of backing teachers and  taking control of the classroom out of the hands of kids and putting it back in the hands of the teachers. Gaetani said he would visit every Pittsfield school, meeting with teachers and students. To the teachers, he would express support. To the students, he would insist on proper behavior, a deportment now missing on the local campuses.

“I will talk with every student at every school,” he says. “We have to have new methods” to put a stop to students who “can’t read, can’t write, and can’t do math.” As for the present lack of control in schools, Gaetani called it “molly-coddling,” something that he would put to an end. What can a strong mayor do? “Elect me, and you’ll see.”

Performance, Budget Reviews — With Action — for Every Department

Other points he made during the press conference:

* He said he would conduct performance and budget reviews of every city department. Unlike the usual reviews conducted by incoming mayors, Gaetani said his would have teeth and initiate action. He said he would try to unearth every wasted dollar in the city budget and cut it.

* He said he hoped for large participation in the race, calling for new candidates and fresh faces. “If you have something to contribute, please join the race.”

* Gaetani is stridently against spending $121 million on a new Taconic High School. He called it too expensive and unnecessary. He cited a recent poll of about 800 citizens, who overwhelmingly (4-1) did not favor the project.

* For his three top issues, Gaetani listed (1) the nearly $400 million unfunded OPEB costs taxpayers face to fund city benefits (pension, health care, and other) taxpayers owe to city employees and retirees … (2) Reform of the School Department … and (3) public safety.

*  Gaetani said he would serve one term and then leave office. That, he noted, would remove the need to for the usual pandering required by politics. It would also make him immune, he said, to any outside influence other than citizens and taxpayers.

Is he confident?

“I may even vote for Linda Tyer,” Gaetani said. Adding the punchline: ” … in 2019.”

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“They call me the ‘Moonlight Gambler.’ I’ve gambled for love and lost.” — Frankie Laine, “Moonlight Gambler,” (1959).

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.