BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, MARCH 1, 2016) — Welcome to March. In like a Hillary, out like a Trump.

Since Pittsfield state rep. Triscuit Faraway Tralalla Boomdier has dragged THE PLANET into it, we have no choice but to return fire.

“Triple chins and free donuts for all!” True, it’s not exactly “54-40 or Fight,” but, hey, what do you want at these prices? (PHOTO: iBerkshires)

This past weekend in the mainstream media, TFTB endorsed Hillary for President by invoking Yours Truly in the lead-up to today’s Super Tuesday primary voting in Massachusetts and elsewhere. Triscuit wrote: “Hillary Clinton is the most qualified person on THE PLANET to be the next US president.”

THE PLANET knows this is not true. The most qualified person on THE PLANET to run for Prez is our good pal, Donald Trump. The only close second would be Terry Kinnas.  Trump and Hillary prove the political dictum that while men posture and pontificate, woman nag and nitpick. Obviously, there are exceptions, but they prove the rule.

Shagging for Hillary

Being the “kept” property of the State Democratic Machine, of course, Triscuit has to put out when her pimps tell her to shag, and over the weekend, she shagged for Hillary. OK. We get that. Politics is soiled business. If you wanted morality and integrity, the last place you’d go other than the Catholic Church is with a nobody politician in a nothing legislative seat from a forgotten district — you know, someone like Triscuit.

Speaking of the Catholic Church, I would add Robert Frost to Pope Francis’ reading list, specifically, the bit about not building a wall until you know whom you’re walling in or out. The Pope is the last guy to be critical of wall building. He lives in a city-state surrounded by a high, thick stone wall.

Getting back to Triscuit’s endorsement, she has this “ilk” of a paragraph:

The joke’s on us! (PHOTO: Wide World)

“Secretary Clinton reflects my progressive values and has the ability to accomplish our shared goals of addressing income inequality, debilitating college debt, environmental injustice, our crumbling infrastructure and our terrible campaign financing laws. And in the complicated, sometimes scary world that we live in, I trust that Secretary Clinton has an understanding of international issues and the problem-solving ability to keep us safe.”

Where to begin? First, TFB should be told that Clinton is no longer Secretary of State. Second, notice in the litany of “progressive values,” there’s not one mention of beleaguered taxpayers. All of the “values” Triscuit mentions are aspects of the social engineering Democrats have successfully applied to diminish the once great Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Or haven’t you noticed how, for example, the phrase “income inequity” becomes code for providing every bum and moocher a free ride on the middle class’ broken back?

WHEN!? How About Never. Yeah, Never Will Do Us Just Fine

Triscuit’s actual values have, judging by appearances, include many midnight raids of the fridge and all the free donuts she can eat. We won’t even start with Hillary. True, Trump wears a Davy Crockett cap on his head and loves orange skin, but the white around his eyes at least give us the assurance that his vanity is a conscious choice and not the result of societal convention.

Trish mentions WHEN!, how the group “caught fire” during “a climate of frustration in the city. You might say it was a little revolution right here in our own community.” It “caught fire,” all right, and the blaze helped torch what little was left of responsible government in the city of Pittsfield. In other words, Feel the Burn, Shire City citizens and taxpayers.

TFB’s endorsement (“I am woman, hear me bore”) continues speaking in tongues, mentioning “gender issues, social justice, environmental justice, economic justice.” That’s a heck of a lot of “justice.” We get it, already, Trish. You want the good times to roll for “just us.” She tells us she knows “that fighting for justice means that I am given the label of liberal, and it is a term I wear as a badge of honor.”

Trish, come on, babe. Tell the truth. If we go by results, “fighting for justice” means screwing the rapidly disappearing middle-class out of every penny possible and giving it to deadbeats to keep them voting “Democrat” or, better still, to keep them in apathy and ignorance so they won’t vote at all.

The Donald, looking Prezidential. (Photo: AP)

Trish, though you can’t admit it, that’s what your “ilk” really wants. You don’t want We The People getting involved in the process, and we have to say, you’ve done a great job in that respect. That’s how you ensure that the oligarchs that own you can stay in power.

THE PLANET endorses Donald Trump for President.

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“Harping should be limited to musical instruments.” — Charmaine Smith Ladd.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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