BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY JUNE 30, 2016) — We listen to public radio in the car because of classical music. That means we listen to NEPR. We have not, however, succumbed to the countless and interminable “fund drives,” and we never will. The way THE PLANET figures it, we’ve contributed already in the form of an involuntary payment via federal taxes.

That being said, we understand the need for the stations to raise money. One may quibble, as we have done in the past, about the boast that public radio has no ads. True, but it does have “underwriters,” who are mentioned with a monotonous drumbeat that rivals a Sousa march. For their payments, underwriters not only get their business, product, or service mentioned. They also get promotional copy of the sales and marketing type, address, phone, website, and other information. In short, though they are not called “commercials,” these spots resemble them as closely as Clark Kent resembles George Reeves. A spiel by any other name …

The emergence of underwriters can be traced in direct proportion to the drop-off in donors. From keeppublicradiopublic.com: “The effect has been, as so aptly put by saveKUTaustin member Jody Lazo, to build an overpass to the “landed gentry,” the “underwriters” purveying items such as luxury cars, and jettisoning the “public” whose support has been declining. So when does “underwriting” become “advertising”?

Great question.

That’s not our main concern today, though. Back to the drives. New England Public Radio, NEPR, ended its Summer Fund Drive yesterday. Today, THE PLANET throws bouquets at NEPR for the manner in which these appeals are conducted — with as much class, style, and elegance as one can muster with such a thankless task. This stands in direct opposition to the crass methods of the bacterial WAlanMChartock (WAMC). Herr Doktor‘s personal and free ATM insults listeners with guilt trips and a form of “we’re cool” and “you’re not” that would make one want to mug even the likes of such innocents as Garrison Keillor and James Taylor.

Herr Doktor, as he does with every aspect of that cringeworthy station, bangs fund drives they way Greg Louganis jumped a diving board. It’s not just the inanity and supercilious utterances but the manner in which they come across in that nasal screech, a sulphuric tone and cadence that, once denotation gives way to connotation, speaks only of vanity, arrogant, and conceit — Not literary conceit, which Herr Doktor would know nothing about, but “uppity”-ness, which he personally defines. It is a form of bullying that typically comes from a person with severe doubts about his self worth. It’s not for nothing that on at least two occasions, Herr Doktor refused THE PLANET‘s challenge for a debate.

NEPR conducts its fund drives in the most unobtrusive way still consistent with the goal of raising money. We’re sure it’s related to the civilizing effects of classical music, a form of  enlightenment long abandoned by the venal WAMC.  From 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. every day, John Nowacki and Walter Carroll preside knowledgeably over a varied selection of classics. This includes the obligatory greats (Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, etc.) but also composers who, musical genius notwithstanding, were never able to break the wax on a platter.

WAMC  yanks the badgered listener off her beach towel and throws her in over her head, even though she can’t swim. They then toss the life saver in the form of a brow-beating “contribute now” guilt trip, and the drowning damsel may be foolish enough to reach out and save not her life but the station’s continued self-absorption. You see, outside of the national programming common to PBS stations, WAMC can only offer a chain of dreary and unimaginative programs hosted by inbred, monochromatic votaries of Herr Doktor.

NEPR, on the other hand, caresses the listener into the refreshing waters of accompaniment, making the tawdry job of asking for money anything but an insult. They  talk to you, not down to you. Consequently, you will hear thoughtful pitches from the on-air talent — Nowacki, Carroll, news director Susan Kaplan, jazz host Tom Reney, and others. When administrators take the air — for example, CEO  Martin Miller, director of corporate marketing Ruth Kennedy, and Pittsfield’s own Pam Malumphy, director of development and major gifts — they do so unobtrusively, actually explaining why contributions are important. This stands in skunked contrast to WAMC, which is all about Herr Doktor and the sycophants who lip-smack his wrinkled butt (especially Joe Donoghue, “the Wizard of Uhs”).

THE PLANET still won’t contribute to public radio save through taxes, but if there was ever a station that would induce us to break that vow, it’s NEPR.

———————————————————————————————–

“Public radio is neither public nor radio. It is for the elite and more a form of high-tech smoke signals.” — Sir Tiberius Fruitjuice

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The views expressed in the comment section or opinions published within the text other than those of PLANET VALENTI are not those of PLANET VALENTI or endorsed in any way by PLANET VALENTI; this website reserves the right to remove any comment which violates its Rules of Conduct, and it is not liable for the consequences of any posted comment as provided in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act and PLANET VALENTI’s terms of service.