BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY JUNE 6, 2017) — A tip of THE PLANET‘s lid to all those incredibly brave men who clamored out of Higgins boats to hit the beaches of Normandy 73 years ago.

Lest we forget.

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TOP TEN — The Boring Broadsheet recently ran a house ad (it being hard to sell space) listing “The Top 10 Reasons” to read it. THE PLANET presents those followed by  with the “If Truth Be Told” response.

1. “You want to save money.” … If Truth Be Told: You want to save hundreds of dollars each year, so you don’t subscribe.
2. “You need a new job.” … You need a new job, but you’re in Pittsfield. There ARE no jobs.
3. “You’ve outgrown your apartment.” … You’ve been thrown out of your apartment by gang members.
4. “Your car is kaput.” … What car? It was stolen.
5. “You’re craving a night on the town.” … You’re craving a night on the town. You go to Orchard and North but don’t live to tell about it.
6. “You’re dying to know who won the game.” … Yeah, dumbwad, like there’s no Internet.
7. “You want to read local news.” … You won’t find it here.
8. “You need something to talk about on your date.” …  You need something to talk about after your date has stolen your wallet and her boyfriend rolled you.
9. “You need to unwind.” … You need to step off the 14th floor of the Crowne Plaza when it hits you — You L-I-V-E in Pittsfield.
10. “You need a plumber, electrician, or a realtor [sic].” … You need a lawyer, a bail bondsman, and a new drug dealer.

BUDGET BUSTERS — Don’t trust the skunks of Pittsfield government for one second. Why and how did the proposed FY18 budget go from $156 million to $164 million? There has been no explanation about that $8 million increase from anyone in government or from what passes for local press. And how does the city get away with claiming an increase from FY17 of 1.04%? Do the math. The FY17 muni budget came in at $151 million. The $164 million plan adds $13 million. That’s an increase of 8.6%.  Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski, you are getting screwed once more, so raise a glass to the mayor, council, and school committee, over-their-heads all, who fatten their wallets by bleeding you dry.

IS PARIS BORING? — Here’s why President Trump‘s decision to exit the U.S. from the Paris climate accord makes sense:

1. There’s no such thing as “clean energy.” All methods of using energy to generate power produce dirty byproducts.
2.  It keeps a campaign promise.
3. The agreement ignored the constitutional process, which does not give the president such authority.
4. The agreement is voluntary and contains no provisions for non-compliance, assuring the U.S. will get stuck for trillions.
5. Allows the U.S. to negotiate a better deal both the for environment and for American taxpayers.

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“Unfortunately, we find ourselves in dire circumstances.” — The Lovely Linda

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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