BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JULY 17, 2017) —  Graffiti may be to post-modern life what cave paintings were to French caves, but why would any allegedly intelligent, carnivorous biped want to leave his imbecilic mark on the wall of a public bathroom? Can the yen for immortality be so hard-wired in us?

Contrary to popular belief, the words of the prophet aren’t written on subway walls or in tenement halls. You can find them in bathroom stalls. At one time, the words could betray a certain wisdom, as this one, found on the walls of a Union College W.C.: “To be is to do — Nietzsche. To do is to be — Sartre. Do be do be do — Sinatra.” It has to be the greatest wall wisdom of all time. Today, however, graffiti has gone the way of social media, into the toilet. Literally. True story: THE PLANET recently found the writing in tongues inside of a Pittsfield urinal, written, obviously, with water-resistant magic marker. We won’t repeat the sentiment but will tell you it had to do with an anatomical impossibility accompanied by a phone number.

All of this leads us to the rumination worthy of a sit-down on the porcelain throne, namely, the number of non-stories appearing in mainstream media that would be better told on bathroom walls. They provide temporary relief, they stink, and they need to be flushed.

Leading the list is the much ado about nothing involving Donald Trump Jr. The frothing elements of the Loon Left, having failed to find anything on the President, have targeted his son. All such a “story” requires is Junior’s name, the word “Russia” and some combination of phrases conveying “electoral influence.” The Junior-Russia story boils down to nothing more that an outside entity preferring one candidate to another. No “stop the presses” there. Russia, and its predecessor the Soviet Union, have preferred presidential candidates going back at least to the post-WWII era. Democrats’ unhealthy obsession with the non-story has only perpetuated poisonous, even treacherous polarization of America’s national politics.

THE PLANET needn’t articulate the global consequences. Suffice it to say that such fear-mongering provides both sufficient and necessary cause for the like of the Bay State’s Elizabeth Warren and a lot of copycats of the clueless, air-headed “Colleens” who trickle down to the local level. We think here of the women running for Pittsfield city council, a quartet with no other qualifications except that they adhere to the Warren Wing and who aren’t men. America deserves better. Pittsfield deserves better.

At least at the national level, as is the case in most other states of the union, there is partisan equity. Massachusetts, however, has been in the totalitarian grip of liberal Democrats. As we have all witnessed, one-party rule assures nothing but a screwing of ordinary, law-abiding citizens and the glorification of two classes: The Suits and the scum. The latter serve the former politically. The former exploit the latter for votes, keeping them in the perpetual slavery of government handouts — all the free housing, insurance, food, tuition, and other “benefits” that enable the irresponsible behavior that makes like hell for Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski.

If you want to complain, in Massachusetts, you have no recourse, not to your state reps or anyone serving in city office. Your best bet is to write it on the walls of a nearby stall. Oh, and you can drop a comment at this address.  THE PLANET always listens. We always hear.

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“Ballerina, you should have seen her, dancing in the sand.” — Elton John, “Tiny Dancer.”

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Usual Disclaimer.