BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION, AUG. 4-6, 2017) — The Feds in Massachusetts aren’t the only ones to have a determined interest in Patrick Muraca of Nuclea etc. infamy. New York’s FBI also has come-a-callin’. THE PLANET hopes the cigars Uncle Sam says he billed to hoodwinked investors are at least Partagas, not Parodi. As in the latrine, the redolent butts comprise the business end, rings and all.

The New York field office of the FBI says Muraca’s engaged in wire fraud in a case joined at the hip with the Bay State action. This is a criminal charge. For the record, one count of wire fraud upon conviction can bring a maximum of 20 years in the stripey hole. Joon Kim, acting attorney for the U.S. District of New York, says Muraca “promised investors their money would be used to expand his business, but as alleged  … he used those funds to line his pockets.” It seems the only thing Muraca “expanded” was a jump-the-rails ego and an already-ample waistline, or what-for a red Corvette and hummingbird tongues on toast? “Thanks to the investigative work of the FBI,” Kim said, “Muraca must now answer for his fraud.” Muraca was arrested Tuesday morning. Arraignment will be in federal court in Springfield.

Muraca attorney Anthony Doyle did not outright deny the charges. Doyle issued a tortuously wrought statement saying he felt “confident that when we have the opportunity to present our case that a very different set of facts will emerge.” Prior to that unringing endorsement, Doyle said Muraca “takes his fiduciary responsibilities very seriously.”

Of that, THE PLANET has no doubt.

The SEC‘s 18-page filing makes for good summer reading. The court document can be read in its entirety at numerous websites, including iBerkshires and masslive.com. The document asserts that among other irregularities, Muraca “repeatedly took money from [company] accounts, writing checks payable to himself and to friends and family.” The documents also says Muraca used investor funds to pay “his mortgage, his fiancee’s mortgage, and his mother’s mortgage.” The Feds further say that he overdrew company accounts more than once and sunk investor money into his girlfriend’s two restaurants — $45,000 in in Sullivan Station, Lee, and $17,000 at Queenie’s Leenie Teeny Weeny Panini joint in Lenox. Of course, the Lenox greasy spoon (silver, natch) doesn’t bear that name — only something sounding like it. We might say it is homonymic.

WBRK news director Len Bean neatly summed up the biggest question of all as it pertains to the public officials in the moribund city of Pittsfield and the Dem big shots on Beacon Hill: “How could they not know?”

There are many ways to respond.

Corruption.

Malfeasance.

Ignorance.

Stupidity.

Desperation.

As Muraca’s mouthpiece says, the answer can be found in “a very different set of facts” than what Corydon Thurston, Dan Bianchi, and the Gang cited in the Ganga phase of their busted love affair with Polythene Pat.

His loyal girlfriend, meanwhile, continues to do the Tammy Wynette on Facebook. Standing by her man, she thanked her friends for their support. Everyone else, she said, could go fuck themselves.

Class.

Enjoy the weekend, everybody.

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“When the knowers don’t know, the guessers guess” — Sir Tiberius Fruitjuice.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Usual Disclaimer.