BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

Coming Wednesday: THE PLANET’s take on the Ribbon Cutting for …  for … (we can hardly say it) … Tyler Street garbage cans … Wherein we find out if the mayor has (a) a sense of humor and/or (b) a thick skin. Either will suffice. TRUTH OUTSTRIPS FICTION!!!

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY SEPT. 18, 2017) — Public policy done “with the best of intentions” guarantees an undertaking that will be over budget, late on delivery, and ineffective. When you hear “best intentions,” you need to ask, “Best for whom?”

Take Tyler Street.

Please. And this is before ribbon cuttings for garbage cans (tune in Wednesday!!)

The once bustling neighborhood roughly designated “Morningside” has become the unwitting symbol of the overall decline in a municipality once known for its leafy, middle-class decency, an elm-lined state of comfort in which blue and white collars worked and played together in a pocket of benign public policy known as “the common good.” Cynics may justifiably counter that this agreeable state of affairs was an artificiality made possible by the capitalistic monopoly courtesy of General Electric Company. They made also point out that once GE concluded that its investment in Pittsfield, Mass., was not worth the size of its profit, the company pulled out, leaving behind, unmediated, air, water, and ground fouled by some of the worst industrial toxins found outside of a mad scientist’s lab.

Tyler Street and Woodlawn Avenue, of course, provided base for this industrial Ground Zero. Take a walk by today and see what’s left. Not much to see except as concrete wasteland and a street down on its luck, with shootings, stabbings, crime, drugs, gangs, violence, trash, and a zombified populace the sad norm.

Cue the “do gooders.” They’ve mustered up a half-a-million dollars or so of taxpayer money to throw at the problem, money that will be spent on consultants, an executive director or two, and, of course, the usual contractors. THE PLANET knows nothing of any ensuing kickbacks, bribes, of graft, for these contract riders, when present, are written in invisible ink by non-appearing hands.

Outside of placing umbrella ceilings on sunny days, the Tyler Street “Best Intentionals” haven’t properly defined their overall goals, especially how they fit into whatever passes for a “vision” in the Land of Benigno Numine.

Take it back.  THE PLANET has learned of one key aspect of the Tyler Street Transformation. They want to s-l-o-w the traffic down!! Yup, you read right — “s–l–o–w it right the heck down.” Obviously, the architects of this immensely stupid idea don’t do much driving on Tyler Street or in and around Pittsfield. City streets are clogged. We have a “perfect storm” of too many vehicles, too many traffic signals, too many stop signs, and too few roads in good shape.

One of THE PLANET‘s favorite spots is just around the corner from Tyler Street.

In your mind, travel with us now.

We are driving north from First Street. Once you get through the First-Tyler intersection, you quickly encounter the intersection of North Street and Stoddard Avenue. Vehicles in this spaghetti intersection vie for rights of way, including the ridiculous junction of the BMC emergency room entrance. Continue north, two traffic lights within 30 feet of each other stop you. The first is at Charles and North streets, the second at North Street and Springside Avenue. The clogged arteries have induced vehicular coronaries not even Dr. Christian Barnard could undo.

The “slow it down” policy for Tyler Street comes from the one Commandment city planners and policy makers follow each time for every public project: “Thou shalt find the most difficult way to do something, one that causes the most stress for the greatest number of people.”

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“How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the waggily tail?” — Patti Page.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Usual Disclaimer.