BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY OCT. 23, 2017) — THE PLANET finally found the correct term with which to label one-party rule in Boston and, of course, in toady Pittsfield, where the local Democrat Party is led by Captain of Red Sox Nation the Rt. Hon. Sherwood Guernsey, Esq. Perhaps our good friend Sherwood’s title should be changed to “Esp.,” since he can easily predict ponderous events such as the municipal budget (more for the pigs at the trough, less for ordinary citizens) and taxes (up, uP, UP). Why, man, he can foretell the outcome in “elections” that should not even be held for the insult they give to those in actual robust republics. Moon in 1, Caccamo in 3, Krol in 6, and so on.

Yawn … to say nothing about Yon.

We caution you not to favorably compare The Amazing Guernsey with Nostradamus or even Carnac the Magnificent. Anyone with at least half a dozen functioning brain cells can predict winners in Pittsfield elections, with their next-to-nothing turnout and The Suits stoking up, fronting, organizing, and funding their political zombies.

The perfect phrase to describe this political sham is that Massachusetts and Pittsfield both enjoy “Democracy without democrats” (DWd). Note the lower “d,” because if the non-existent Republicans held a 90-10 advantage, the GOP would be just as bad. There would be no difference between the two major parties. Either could and would employ such a statistical edge to get all bare-chested and Mussolini-like. There is no dictatorship so absolute as the one that masks as a republic, as in the People’s Democratic Republic of North Korea. See? Pittsfield has elite company.

DWd occurs when legitimate government collapses, which it did in the city after GE left. For a brief moment in the early to mid-90s, the city had a chance to court new business and create-then-implement a plan to revitalize the economy. Unfortunately, Pittsfield had Ed Reilly as mayor, a colorless, do-nothing windbag who if you asked him the time would tell you how to make a watch. Keep in mind that Reilly knew as much about fixing watches as Kathy “Lady Boots” Yon knows about her fiduciary role as chair of the school committee. Consequently, while the politicians and special interests rushed in to fill the ensuing power vacuum, city “leaders” did nothing. Reilly unceremoniously left office after a bizarre stretch in which he decided to run, then decided NOT to, run for state rep. Swamp politics then took over. We know how that one turned out.

A fatal political illness such as DWd produces political creatures such as Linda Tyer. The Suits plucked this good woman, friendly enough as she is, from the secretarial pool in the Lenox schools, gave her a Ward 3 council seat, followed by the gifting of a city clerkship after Jodie Phillips wanted to try her hand in the Dreaded Private Sector (DPS) at General Dynamics. Jodie found out that the DPS isn’t as “forgiving” as public service. No problem. The Suits easily arranged for her to get her old job back as clerk while at the same time installing Tyer as mayor. Bing, bang, boom. No runs, no hits, many errors.

Now into the third of her four-year term, Tyer’s highlights include:

• Record spending
• Record high taxes
• No action on the PEDA site
• Nothing doing on jobs
• Runaway crime and street violence, mostly related to drugs
• A municipal “economy” that resembles Dwight Frye as Renfield in the original Lugosi Dracula
• A ribbon cutting for trashcans.

DWd creates politicians such as Tyer and Moon — female, minority, reasonably young and attractive, and compliant to their masters. They don’t actually have to campaign, because they either run against no one or against their ideological clones (Peter Marchetti). They CAN’T lose. Only the people do. These type of pols love to make promises in the campaign, always noted for their vagueness. The lack of specificity grants many freedoms. For example, return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when Tyer campaigned for mayor making urban blight her key issue. She did a photo-op in front of the old KFC site on East Street. That site, Hess Forest, and others would be dealt with promptly and severely.

Yeah, right.

Take a stroll through lovely Hess Forest. The windows of the building have been smashed, making the grounds as derelict as  they’ve ever been. While there, you might want to take one of the shards and start slicing at your main cables. Don’t worry about the blood. Just wander over to one of the new $6,000 trashcans. As the Rolling Stones once sang, “Let It Bleed.”

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“I have been assured by a very knowing American … that a young child, well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.” — Jonathan Swift, from “A Modest Proposal.”

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Usual Disclaimer.