BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JAN. 31, 2018) — So, Pittsfield has yet another economic development “expert” who’s going to be the “quarterback” of mayor Linda “The Lounger” Tyer‘s “Red Carpet” plan for stirring up new business in the moribund city.

Stop THE PLANET if you’ve heard this one before.

This might be the biggest economic news since the new Trashcans (always with a capital “T”) debuted in a mayoral photo-op on the miracle mile known as Tyler Street.

Let’s see. The Lounger has at her disposal the same resources as did Dan Bianchi. The Lounger blasted Bianchi for not utilizing them, saying during the campaign that Pittsfield had the right tools but simply needed a better user. Ah, but what are campaign promises that are not broken? No one knows. They do not exist.

There is PEDA, PERC (the Pittsfield Economic Redundancy Commission), 1Berkshire, the Office of Community Development, Berkshire Works, and a host of other taxpayer-supported not-for-profit agencies, organizations, and groups that technically exist to build or import the dreaded “economic engine.” These weren’t enough for The Lounger. She’s created another layer of bureaucracy, hiring Michael Coakley away from Winstanley and Associates, the Lenox-based marketing and ad agency, to head “economic development” efforts for the city. The Lounger calls Coakley the eco-dev “quarterback.” Yeah, but is Coakley G.O.A.T. Tom Brady or Rick Mirer,  one of the greatest flops in N.F. L. history?

Coakley’s official title is Pittsfield “Business Development Manager.” Titles like that always look better in initial capitals, don’t they? In actuality, this is another make-work job given to one of the Chosen Few, the “Connected,” at a salary of $87,000 per year not counting the city’s generous bennies (add 20%). Coakley says he can’t wait to get started creating jobs. THE PLANET can tell you from experience that the only jobs this will likely create are four: Coakley’s, his administrative assistant’s, a con job, and a snow job. Coakley’s biggest problem will be where to enjoy the three-hour lunches he will share with the heads of PEDA and PERC, JIV, Behneke, and other oinkers slurping large from the public trough.

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THE PLANET‘s circuitous relation to this story comes through our connection with Winstanley and Associates. Back in the day, when we owned and ran The Media Services Group (then called Literations), we hired a young Nathan Winstanley to join our bullpen of writers, saving him from the Siberia of a hack job in Great Barrington while he was days away from bolting the Berkshires to go back home to Rochester, NY.  Our final job interview took place in early April 1982 in the middle of a freak snowstorm that shut down virtually every business in town. We stayed open. Nate made the interview. Talk about making a great first impression.

We loved the guy immediately. Nate stayed with MSG for nearly two years before General Electric plucked him from our employment. A year later, Nate, as bright, talented and ambitious as they come, started his agency in a tiny upstairs office in downtown Lenox. We can still recall visiting, when Nate demonstrated the future on his 1984 Macintosh computer. We felt like George Jetson. Today, 34 years later, Winstanley and Associates stands as the area’s premier agency. THE PLANET beams with pride that we gave him his start.

We share this to tell you that there were only two believable reasons why someone leaves Winstanley and Associates: either he’s fired (“resigned to spend more time with the family”) or he’s bolted for more money, mercenary fashion. A third, likely applicable in this case, is Nate’s retirement and the closing of his business, a scenario that gives some hope for Coakley’s pedigree. Nate was a good judge of horseflesh.

The Lounger’s “Red Carpet” plan to lure new business stands as its own punchline. Giving a fancy code name to a move that simply adds to the city’s cheezy veneer without addressing the fundamental issues preventing  business from coming to town serves as one more insult to taxpayers — you know, the bedraggled schleps who will be paying for this new, cushy, needless layer of government.

The Red Carpet is already looking a bit tattered. Like January, kiss it goodbye.

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“[Man] owes his existence to himself [only if] he affirms his individuality as a total man” — Karl Mark.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Usual Disclaimer.