BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

Second of Two Parts

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION, AUG. 10-12, 2018) — Before THE PLANET gets into part two of our museum series, let’s confirm two things, each pertaining to the D.A.’s election. First, Andrea Harrington did attend the sheriff’s picnic. Harrington, however, told THE PLANET that she didn’t “crash” the event, since it was a public affair. Donna Matoon, Sheriff Tom Bowler’s sister, confirmed that, pointing out that one cannot “crash” a heavily advertised event to which the public is invited. She said all were welcome at the event and made no mention  of any “scene.” We did get word of one from other sources, who claim that Harrington, far from being the instigator, took the brunt and did so with class.

Second, John Krol has told us without qualification that he is not in line for a position with the DA’s office should Harrington win. Krol also told THE PLANET he would not accept such a position if it were offered. Looks like we can put THAT one to bed. Keep tuned to THE PLANET for more on this race next week. You won’t get this info anywhere else. No one has that big a Rolodex … not even our Right Honorable Good Friend Jimmy Ruberto. … and ours includes buried skeletons.

Now we conclude our series.

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How many people does it take for a business supposed to run at break-even to lose $12 million in 10 years? Answer: 20 trustees plus a top-heavy management staff.

If you’re the Berkshire Museum, that is.

As a not-for-profit enterprise, the Mausoleum pays no federal, state, or city taxes. As all businesses with a 501(c), it breaks even at the end of each fiscal year — breaks even on the books, that is. In point of fact, the mausoleum has been losing about $85,000 a month for the past decade. It takes hard work and ineffectiveness risen to artistic levels to lose nearly $22,000 a week for well more than 500 weeks.  Now you understand why the BM needed to launch its “New Vision” in July 2017, a plan to rob the hallowed halls of its best treasures to sell at auction, earning the scorn and condemnation of the international art and museum world.

An achievement of this magnitude requires $754,666 in annual salaries, $262,208 going to management, with top dog being the recently departed Van Shields, who clocked in at $141,500. These figures do not include bennies, nor does it include payments of $216,234, $190,620, $115,171, $43,880, and $35,196 to its top five “consultants.” Nor does it include Shields’ Golden Parachute. Shields is out, having retired, although the Berkshire Mausoleum website mysteriously says Shields “is expected to be on leave” to the end of the year. Something needs updating, because one Dr. David Ellis has been interim executive director since June 28, with the usual Nationwide Search going on for his permanent replacement. Rumor has it that Imhotep the Mummy has the inside track.

Ellis offered THE PLANET a gem about his temporary mission: “I am looking forward to working with the Berkshire Museum at this difficult time as they search for a new executive director.” The italics have been added by THE PLANET. Make of it what you will. For the exec-pro-tem to acknowledge a “difficult time” in his first public utterance suggests the worms have eaten through the coffin.

The auction brought in $47 million, more than enough to make up for the colossal mismanagement and outright misappropriation of funds, so one would think the Mausoleum’s money woes have vanished as quickly as a snowflake in July. Who knows, though? Check out how top heavy the mausoleum is in chiefs: In addition to Ellis, Nina Garlington serves as Chief of Staff, with four inmates each in Support Services and Collections; six in Engagement; five in Experience, including a Chief Experience Officer.

We kid you not — a “Chief Experience Officer,” whatever the heck that means, supervising a staff of four “associate experience officers.” Contemplate that the next time you wish to donate some of your vast free cash to the Mausoleum.

Because THE PLANET believes in full accreditation, we now list the 20 trustees who brought in Shields to execute the art heist of the local century. Look closely and see if you recognize any famiLIAR names:

• Elizabeth McGraw, president
• Stacey Gillis-Weber, VP
• Ethan Klepetar, VP
• Lydia Rosner, secretary
• Carol Riordan, trasurer
• Howard Eberwein Jr.
• David Glodt
• Jeffrey Noble
• Joan Hunter
• William Hines Jr.
• Ursula Ehret-Dichter
• Jay Bikofsky
• Melissa Scarafoni
• Michael Addy
• Nancy Edman-Feldman
• Wendy Gordon
• Stephen Bayne
• Douglas Crane
• Donna Krenicki
• Barbara Krauthamer

The museum lists their address, all, at 39 South St. Apparently, they all live together, Pittsfield version of the Walton family. Cozy, ain’t it?

See, it’s what we suspected all along, just one, big, happy family.

G’night, John Boy.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

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“Make it new” — Erza Pound, poet and critic on his philosophy of art and life.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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