BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JULY 11, 2022) — Having thoroughly enjoyed The Land That Time Forgot, THE PLANET returns, first to clear the desk of some of the stories begging for comment.

The Dews and Don’ts — Since we’ve been cracking down on the “going, going, gone” job being done by Pittsfield’s mayor, the corner office has cut us from its mailing list. Twice we sent requests to Roberta Dews McCullough at Pity Hall. She’s the mayor’s chief flack-n-hack. O, that too, too solid silence. We heard nothing. We cc’d the mayor both to her office and personal email. Still nothing. THE PLANET has to laugh. Then-candidate Tyer told us she would never stop communicating with us. “Not even after we start getting on you?” “No,” Flat promised. It took a few years, but she’s succumbed, just as every mayor has since Ed Reilly with the exception of Jimmy Ruberto. To take your football and go crying home because the calls didn’t go your way? One can only shake the head and bake the bread. When the phone doesn’t ring, it’s the corner office not getting back to us.

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ARPA BARFA — Could the questions asked by THE PLANET‘s readers about the $700,000 in ARPA money the mayor gave to the husband of her director of administrative services have anything to do with the corner office’s pouting? Nothing to see there, folks, especially conflicts of interest. You can run along and go home.  Warren Dews, who has the talents of a carny barker and the nerve of a Patrick Muraca, has moved from one lucrative gig after another since arriving in the Berkshires from the Big Apple. Three Card Monty by any other name . . .

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Sheriff Showdown — On behalf of a reader, we asked incumbent Tom Bowler and challenger Alf Barbalunga if either belonged to protectamericanow, a conservative action group that stands for Constitutional government and the 2nd Amendment. Bowler got back to us immediately with a “negative.” Initially, we hadn’t heard from Barbalunga … until we did. From Brandon Maurer, Alf’s campaign manager: “We apologize that we haven’t been as amenable to correspondence this week. We are not partnering with the protectamericanow group.” THE PLANET wanted to make sure readers knew that Alf didn’t leave us hanging.

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“I Was a Warden in a Women’s Prison” — The first forum between Bowler and Barbalunga saw the two Killer Bs spar on several issues, front-and-center of which was the move of Berkshire female prisoners to the facility in Chicopee, opened in 2014 to centralize service to women inmates from the four Western Mass. jurisdictions. Bowler had the basis of a winning argument in the fact that women are better served centrally. Barbalunga, however, scored the narrow win for the manner of his opposition. Alf also did a good job dodging a question about the trouble he got in with the state’s probe into nepotism in the commonwealth’s probation department. Alf’s win over Pudge wasn’t decisive. THE PLANET‘s judges gave him the split decision on points.

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Money Walks, Wrong Way Talks — Speaking of campaigns, what secret strategy can Andrea Harrington have against the aggressive, well-funded challenge of local attorney Tim Shugrue? She either knows something the rest of us don’t, or she’s given up. As to the first, we can only think of two possibilities. She has inside knowledge about local balloting that will insure her “victory,” regardless of what the ballot numbers register. With the state’s ridiculous universal mail-in voting combined with the relative ease for hacking software inside voting machines, can any election be trusted? Her stumping has been limited to lame photo-ops. Money? Shurgue has $52,625 in the war chest to Harrington’s $14,750. Something’s up. We just don’t know what.

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PLANET’s Pulitzer — Oh, one other thing about the district attorney. THE PLANET heard through sources that Harrington had asked U.S. attorney Rachel Rollins for a job and was denied. She also allegedly did the same with AG Maura Healey, who’s running for governor. We hear Healey sees Harrington as an albatross and doesn’t want part of that action. These reports are unconfirmed; the D.A. has us on her “Enemies List,” which is the local equivalent of winning a Pulitzer.

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Army of Robots — Recently, we installed improved security in response to the increased speed and capacity with which idiots from all over the globe can infect local systems with spambots and other nasties. Our investment gives THE PLANET the greater protection that enables us to keep comments live and in real time. We have capacity to trace any comment, published or not. Electronic markers can identify when, where, and what time (down to the millisecond). We can also trace fake IP addresses with device imprinting, a form of tagging akin to fingerprinting. Legitimate readers and commentators have nothing to worry about. Their privacy is safe and secure. Troublemakers, however, are forewarned. We’ve already won an out-of-court settlement. This is how we, alone in the area, maintain vigorous, no-hold-barred discussions, deliberations, debates, and back-and-forth without which we imperil individual liberty.

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This covers but a fraction of the intelligence pouring into the Secret Squadron. The year is just heating up.

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“All art begins as a struggle against chaos” — Andre Malreaux.

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