BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, APRIL 28, 2016) — Call it a bad case of triskaidekaphobia, and you’d land close. Call it triciakathyMckaphobia and you’d be much closer. The first refers to an irrational fear of the number 13, particularly to Friday the 13th. The second deals with three of the principal clowns (goons?) responsible for forcing Pittsfield taxpayers to build a $121 million school they don’t want and certainly don’t need.

THE PLANET refers, of course, to Tricia Faraway Boobooday, Kathy “Lady Boots” Yon, and Jason “Jake” JIV McCandless. They are, respectively but not with respect, Pittsfield’s alleged state rep, school committee (SC) chairwoman, and superintendent of schools. We say allegedly because they don’t actually perform those duties, as most of you well know. Boobooday, Lady Boots, and JIV: Talk about your unholy trinity.

Happy Birthday? Depends on Where You Stand

In case you missed it, the other Kathy, Amuso, announced as School Building Needs Commission (SBNC) chairwoman that she decided to hold official groundbreaking ceremonies for the new Taconic High School project on Friday, May 13, her birthday. THE PLANET kids you not. Hubris or boobris? You tell us.

While they have all been busy patting each other’s rumps, neither Boobooday, Lady Boots, JIV, or The Other Kathy have responded to questions about problems at the building site, particularly excessive and unanticipated rock ledge and finding of PCBs. THE PLANET broke the story that builders hit way more ledge than they planned or budgeted for. More ominously, in connection with reports of finding “old industrial-type barrels” buried on the building site, the specter of PCBs raised its ugly read end. We invited officials to respond to the rumors. You could hear the silence above Marshall stacks at a Kiss concert, it was so loud.

No, these counterfeits have more important things to do, such as buying fancy ceremonial ribbons to cut and purchasing those ridiculous golden shovels with which to break wind. The ground can take care of itself. It’s got PCBs, don’t you know.

‘Economic Engine’ or ‘God Save Us, Not Another One!’

Dozens of city and state officials — the usual gang of self-important idiots, sycophants, and suck-ups — will gather on May 13 to worship and photo-op the city’s latest “economic engine.” The game-fixers have been employing that phrase for 10 years, starting at just around the time that the city halted maintenance at the “old” Taconic. This set up a neat self-fulfilling prophecy: Don’t maintain a property, have it fall into disrepair, and then claim you need to erect a new building because the old one has fallen into disrepair. It’s probably the only erection the male members of the SBNC, SC, and other affected offices have experienced in some time. THE PLANET offers that speculation based on the decided lack of balls shown by “the men” during that decade.

Speaking of worship, THE PLANET doesn’t believe the rumor that the project’s infrastructure contractor, J.H. Maxymillan, will lead services for all “Connected” vendors, suppliers, liars, contractees, consultants, advisers, and other assorted hangers-on who will cash in big time along the way. After all, if you think the $121 million budget will be met, we have a clean, non-polluted river to sell you. It’s called the Housatonic.

The Boring Broadsheet, showing why it’s circulation has dipped below 12,000 (it claims 21,000, a knee slapper than has wrecked more knees than the NFL), gushed in a Page One article about the project, using the cliche’s cliche: It will be a “state-of-the-art facility.” THE PLANET has long since had an in-house style rule, dating back to when the Internet first took root in world culture, forbidding the term “state-of-the-art” to describe anything new in the tech field. It’s the equivalent of “thinking outside the box,” or, if you prefer, calling an El Floppo an “economic engine.”

Mayor Linda Tyer is the most recent offender calling this THS turkey an “economic engine.” She piled it one to The BB: “It’s great win for students, for families [and] it shows the community wants to invest in public education for the success of our city.”  The mayor didn’t mention problems with sewer backups, ledge, or PCBs. Neither did our good friend and colleague Dick Lindsay of The BB.

The vastly larger new school will accommodate “up to 920 students.” Current enrollment at “old” THS is 775 and falling.

Go figure.

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“Save me save me save me from this squeeze. I got a big fat momma trying to break me.” — The Kinks, “Summer Afternoon.”

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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