BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION OCT. 13-15, 2017) — Time for THE PLANET to cool down the sizzling drink. Our recent columns detailing the scandal and corruption straightjacketing the city of Pittsfield have stirred up the settlements from the glass bottom, and we have received new information on various and apropos topics that require sifting. You won’t believe what we’re picking up, and you’ll only be reading about it here.

While we process more block-busting voe-dee-oh-doze, we present the first in an intermittent series of Top 10 TV, movies, albums, destinations, books, and so forth. Today, we dial up TV.

One of the coolest gigs THE PLANET ever enjoyed was being paid to watch TV, as we were during our newspapering days as a critic covering pop culture during the late 70s-early 80s. Our ability to aim our discerning glazzies at the boob tube came, as it were, in the dark ages of infancy and toddlerhood, those halcyon sunrises of one channel (WRBG Ch. 6 Schenectady) viewed on a GE console the size of Balance Rock. In fact, in the days prior to the clicker, we served as a remote control for parents and two older brothers.  Later, we felt like George Jetson having seen the future when WTEN-10 in Albany and WAST-13 were added to our choices.

It’s an interesting phenomenon. Today we have thousands of TV viewing options with precious little worth watching. With three channels, on the other hand, we had an abundance of great TV, including such personal favorites as Sky King, The Roy Rogers Show, Cartoon Carnival, Captain Midnight, Car 54 Where Are You?, and so many more. It got us to thinking about the best of the best, and here we present the definitive list of the Top 10 TV shows of all time. We realize that in matters like this, our certainty comes off as arrogance, but accept it as a far-sighted myopia for which THE PLANET must be held both blameless and indifferent.

Presented for your fun in descending order:

1. Civilization — Kenneth Clark‘s magnificent survey of Western Civilization does the impossible, spanning the entirety of this mammoth and complex topic in 13 episodes without cutting corners. Lord Clark and company took two years, traveled 80,000 miles, visited 117 locations in 13 countries. It was and remains the tour de force triumph of this coolest medium. Must See for all, but especially those younger than 40. Conveniently, you can watch the series for free on YouTube. Released in 1969, the precise moment when Western Civ began its headlong dive into the cinders.
2. The Prisoner — Only 17 episodes circumscribe what is the greatest dramatic television series ever. Patrick McGoohan‘s personal vision of dystopia stands up brilliantly since the 50 years of its making. He did for the small screen what George Orwell did for literature: He gave us the definitive preamble for a near future in which security trumps freedom enabled by high technology run amok. You will never look at a weather balloon quite in the same way after viewing this series.
3. The Fugitive — David Jannsen’s pursuit of the one-armed man kept us riveted for years. Barry Morse at Lt. Gerard: Perfect.
4. Freaks and Geeks — This was one of those rare shows that combined great writing, perfect casting, and a production staff that “got it.” The greatest high-school ever put on film. Canceled after just 17 episodes, proving that stupidity and television executives are Siamese twins.
5. The Sopranos — James Gandolfini. Nuff. Ced.
6. The Twilight Zone — “do dee do do, do dee do do.” When you heard that theme song, you knew you were in for a wild ride of  satisfaction, the kind you get when you can vicariously experience the awe of mystery and madness. Rod Serling performed the unequaled task of creating, producing, and writing, all the while having to skirt the bobbleheads in the CBS boardroom. Greatness.
7. The Dick Van Dyke Show — “Oh, Rob!”
8. Breaking Bad — This show literally cooked. High school teacher Walter White gave us one of TV’s most believably 3-D characters.
9. You’ll Never Get Rich — Nat Hiken‘s (Car 54, Where Are You?) creation brought to unforgettable like by the irrepressible Phil Silvers as Sgt. Bilko. Doberman was the Gunther Toody of his time.
10. Gunsmoke — TV’s longest running show for a while. James Arness at Matt Dillon provided that model of stalwart goodness that has all but vanished not only in public entertainment but life in general.
11. The Honeymooners — The Original 39. Live sitcom, Never Done Better. And as a bonus choice, THE PLANET gives you:
12. The Outer Limits — “Do not adjust your television sets.” When the Control Voice took over, we were won. The anthology series, filmed in glorious noir-and-white, defined excellence.

Honorable Mention: The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (featuring the great Leonard Rossiter), Thriller with Boris Karloff, Bonanza, Secret Agent, Star Trek (the original), The Uncle Floyd Show, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, I Love Lucy, Hawaii 5-0, Playhouse 90, The Andy Griffith Show, The Ernie Kovacs Show, Your Show of Shows, Shepherd’s Pie, The Carol Burnett Show, Dr. Kildare (Richard Chamberlain).

Most Overrated TV Show Of All Time: Seinfeld as the hands-down winner. No debate. The “show about nothing” proves that nothing beats nothing like something in the oven … roasting.

There it is. You have thoughts?

Have a great weekend, everybody.

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“The pain of war cannot exceed the woe of our commands” — Led Zeppelin.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Usual Disclaimer.