By DAN VALENTI

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE & STATEHOUSE, BOSTON, Friday June 24, 2011) — Rejected.

That’s the only possible answer for the Governor’s Council regarding the nomination of State Rep. Chris “No Show” Speranzo to the lifetime appointment to a $110,000 a year-plus-benefits, no-show job as clerk magistrate of Central Berkshire District Court.

No Show, the Cowardly Campaigner

You recall the lay-about No Show ducked campaigning against Mark Miller to avoid facing question on “the fix” engineered last year to land him the plush magistrate’s position. No Show took the coward’s way, which fit in perfectly with his porcine non-actions in just about every public position he’s ever held. No Show is a “lawyer” who hasn’t practiced for years. He couldn’t make it in the Dreaded Private Sector, and so he cashed in on the family name and hired on as Jimmy Ruberto’s city solicitor. The next thing you know, ol’ Jed’s a millionaire.

No Show then sold out to the unholy deal that led to Peter Larkin’s resignation of his state rep’s seat about a half-second after his swearing in. Larkin landed a sweetheart position, and the GOBs gave No Show the piece of Third Berkshire District State Rep’s candy. Now, the fattened calf wants to lard up on an even more caloric position — clerk magistrate — so vital that it hasn’t been staffed for two years. Not only has no one noticed but also the courts have functioned better and more efficiently with no one in the job. That’s according to a source who’s working there now, running that office.

From Deval to Jimmy to No Show, With Love

Speranzo got the nomination for the magistrate’s post from Gov. Deval Patrick, who’s personal friends with Jimmy Ruberto, who rescued Speranzo from the trash heap of public “service” on “orders from above.” Naturally, all lips are sealed.

Yesterday, THE PLANET sent an e-mail to Governor’s Councilor Thomas Merrigan of Greenfield, opposing the nomination. We provided a long list of indictments against No Show. We can sum them up by saying, “He’s not worthy.” Fact chance — Merrigan is on record saying he’s going to support the nominee.

When asked by Councilor Jennie Caissie of Oxford if he had ever worked a job outside of the public sector, No Show replied, “Not since law school.” There’s a reason for that. Like many of the pigs that feed from the expensive slop that comes out of taxpayers’ pockets, No Show is unemployable in the Dreaded Private Sector. Who’d want the bum?

“There seems to be a glaring lack of experience here,” Caissie said in her grilling of No Show. “In you’re entire professional career, you’ve basically been a public employee. You’ve never received a paycheck that hasn’t come from the taxpayers of Massachusetts.” She’s saying this to the Profile in Courage, ladies and gentlemen, that the GOBs want to set up for a lifetime sinecure.

Make sure you get it: For $110,000 a year and bennies, he doesn’t have to do more than a lick of work. On second thought, No Show is eminently qualified for a job like that. The problem is, Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski, your average working-stiff taxpayers, end up getting hosed.

“You could be there 50, 60 years as clerk magistrate,” said councilor Marilyn Devaney, Watertown, to No Show. “We take them out [on] stretchers, 94, 95 years old. Why do you think you’re more experienced than these people who have worked in courts, know the law, know the people, know the district, and they’re respected.” Ouch. And this is from a fellow Democrat. No Show is 38 years old.

Why Did the Governor Pass Over Two Assistant Magistrates Who Are Doing the Job Now?

Why did the governor, to Councilor Devaney’s question, pass over two assistant clerk magistrates currently working in Central Berkshire Court? Both have been running the office efficiently, by all reports. They are managing the office well. If that’s not enough, No Show acknowledged to councilors what we all — ALL — knew back in Campaign ’10, that he:

* (A) Applied for the clerk’s magistrate job while he was running for re-election

• (B) Hid that fact from voters, despite numerous and repeated attempts to get the lout to admit the same. That’s why No Show ducked debates, failed to campaign, and hid from the voters and the press. Such is the corrupt state of local politics in the Berkshires that No Show felt comfortable enough with his decision not to worry about re-election. He “knew” he had it in the bag. Mark Miller, running a campaign of ideas and using fumes for funding, gave No Show the scare of his life.

Mary-Ellen Manning from Salem, another Democrat, tore No Show a new one. No Show claimed with a straight face (“Liar, liar, pants on fire …”) that he didn’t tell voters he was looking for the magistrate’s job because he wanted to protect the confidentiality of the judicial process. Excuse our prose, ladies and gentleman, but a whopper like that can only be handled with brutal honesty: What a crock of shit.

‘You Stole Their Votes’

“You stole their votes,” Manning shot back. “That’s what you did. … Anybody who uses public service and the cloak of public service for their own gain … is offensive. It was offensive to voters.”

During the hearings, No Show acknowledged that he has:

• Never run a private law practice
• Never participated in a trial, and
• Never participated in criminal proceedings.

How’s that for a resume for the top managerial job in the court?

The biggest gob of guano came when the idiot No Show denied that stinking politics had anything to do with his appointment: “I believe that public service is a very honorable profession.” [TRANSLATION: I’ve fattened my plump cheeks on the taxpayers’ dime]. “The reality is, I am an elected official, but I see that as just a further extension of public service.” [TRANSLATION: The reality is that I’m a lard-assed product of the GOB system that’s been screwing taxpayers in Pittsfield for a generation, and my very presence here today is just a further extension of the corruption].

Despite THE PLANET’s e-mail, Merrigan says he “fully intends” to support No Show. THE PLANET wonders how much bacon grease the GOBs promised for such loyalty … if any, of course.

Perhaps Central Berkshire Court’s presiding judge, Fred Rutberg, is correct. For the sake of argument, THE PLANET will go along with Judge Rutberg in saying there is a “desperate need” to fill the clerk magistrate’s post. OK. Granted. If so, THE PLANET knows one thing: The job CAN’T go to No Show.

Is there ANY Hope for We The People? The Vote on No Show Will Tell

The nomination of Chris “No Show” Speranzo to a lifetime job as clerk magistrate stands as a litmus test for whether or not We The People have ANY chance of reclaiming OUR government. If the governor’s council rejects the nomination, there’s still hope. If they approve, we can start writing the obit.

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THAT’S IT FOR NOW. MORE TO COME.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE”

LOVE TO ALL