BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY OCT. 9, 2024) — Don’t tell anybody, but … Ski-Daddle–THE PLANET hears that this winter, the city of Bitchfield plans to open skis resorts at several spots along Nothing on North. This brilliant plan will make use of the mountains of snow that […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION OCT. 4-6, 2024) — Relative to the presidential cycle, Tuesday’s Vice Presidential debate presented America with a model of decorum, how to handle the contentious affair with urbanity and without hostility. The affair delineated the stark differences between Republican J. D. […]
BY DANVALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY OCT 2, 2024) — “There’s no dark like a winter night in the country.” So speaks Jack (Sean Bridgers) in Conor McPherson’s The Weir, running through Oct. 27 at the Berkshire Theatre Festival’s Unicorn Theater in Stockbridge. Jack’s right–unless it’s the dark night in […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY SEPT. 30, 2024) — Doing a little dusting and finding a sport for those odds and ends that belong in the “It” drawer [ED. NOTE: The spelling of the headline’s second word is intentional, not a typo … it will go over the […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY SEPT. 25, 2024) — THE PLANET sampled various polls. Some find Donald Trump ahead, others Kamala Harris. Fox News poll has Harris up by 2 points. Polls, however, are what you want them to be. Too often, they represent campaign-commissioned work whose purpose […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY SEPT. 23, 2024) — There’s only one story between now and Nov. 5, and that’s the U.S. presidential election. The artificially engineered Kamala Bump has fizzled, and only diehard Loon Liberals would consider voting or her. The mainstream mass media, of course, would […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY SEPT. 18, 2024) — Let THE PLANET tally it up. Number of times Donald Trump has been dragged into court on fake charges by DEI hacks posing as lawyers and judges?–We lost count. Number of times Kamala Harris has sat down for a […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY “It is the duty of every man, as far as his ability extends, to expose delusion and error” — Thomas Paine (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION SEPT. 13-15, 2024) — THE PLANET is like you and most people. We want to be left alone, live in […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY ADD 2, SEPT. 12 A.M. — Some debate leftovers. Best line of the night goes to Trump: “I probably took a bullet to the head because of the things they’ve said about me.” Funniest line, again Trump, speaking of Joe Biden: “He doesn’t even know he’s alive!” […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY SEPT. 3, 2024) — THE PLANET has figured it out. The holograph pretending to be “Kamala Harris” isn’t her. It’s an actual person. The person posing as Kamala Harris is … … Scatman Crothers from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Separated at birth. Check […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION AUG. 30-SEPT. 1, 2024) — The comforting thing about Two-Pete Bitchfield is the security provided by the anomaly of certainties. It is certain that the riff-raff and scum who stagger into and out of Pancho’s in the 150 block of North […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY AUG. 26, 2024) — Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s endorsement of former President Donald Trump is a game changer. If the election can be kept reasonably clean and above board, a crucial contingency THE PLANET must mention, RFK’s support of Trump will flip key […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, AUG. 22, 2024) — If the election were held today, Kamala Harris would become 47th president of the United States of American’t. Left, Right, Center, and Extremes of the political spectrum can agree such a sentence would have been inconceivable earlier this year. […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY AUG. 19, 2024) — If you will be so kind, allow THE PLANET to harvest and issue a few modest predictions. [ED NOTE: For the thick heads in class, we use the word, “FEINT” instead of “expected” “FAINT” … yes, it’s intentional. The […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION, AUG. 16-8, 2024) — THE PLANET is always open to guest columns, and we have the honor of publishing this one. It is authored by former city councilor Charles Kronick, better known on THE PLANET and elsewhere as Sir Chaz. If […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY AUG. 14, 2024) — Recently canonized saint/taint Kamala Harris has had two major decisions that the voting public can use as a barometer for her Presidential fitness. The two decisions: Picking a running mate Deciding how she would campaign. She had done a […]
