Planet Valenti

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FRIDAY, DEC. 7,2012) — The story of the UCONN tailgating party involving Taconic High School senior footballers, the THS football coaching staff, and massive amounts of beer drinking has all but officially been confirmed. THE PLANET has heard from several people who claim knowledge […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, DEC. 5, 2012) — Recently, THE PLANET announced its Turkey of the Year Award. Today, with the help of a generous donor who wishes to remain anonymous, we want to help him give away three full prepared Christmas dinners. Yes, today, we giveaway […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, DEC. 4, 2012) — Today, we turn our attention to the long-smoldering hotbed-on-ammo-dump known as Middle East politics. The center, naturally, is the state of Israel. Last week, the United National General Assembly approved Palestine as a non-member observer. The vote was 138 […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, DEC. 3, 2012) — Now that we have awarded the Turkey of the Year Award (Joe Pinhead‘s nomination and application for Judge Bethsaida Sanabria-Vega), THE PLANET wishes to satisfy the voices of many who called for a runner-up. No. 2, which appropriately enough […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FRIDAY, NOV. 30, 2012) — The day is finally upon us, when THE PLANET Editorial Board and Packed-Suitcase Marching & Chowder Society (PEBAPSMCS) announces the fruits of its most stimulating deliberations in deciding our First Annual Turkey of the Year Award (TOYA). We approach this with […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, NOV. 29, 2012) — Early this morning, THE PLANET heard from one of our correspondent, who reacted in disbelief to a story posted by link from another reader. The story told of the ungodly perks won by teachers in the Buffalo, N.Y. school […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, NOV. 28, 2012) — At the council meeting last night, our Right Honorable Good Friends set the new tax rates, nearly six months after approving the budget. Are you sitting down for this: For both residential property owners and the commercial-industrial-business sector, taxes […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, NOV. 26, 2012) — Due to the many entries and the repeated pleas for multiple nominations, THE PLANET will add a second-place prize to our Turkey of the Year Contest. Our second-place finisher will be treated to a free lunch (there IS such […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, NOV. 21, 2012) — Here is, as promised, is the announcement of THE PLANET‘s first annual Turkey of the Year Award. You will nominate the winner.  We will decide who wins this dubiously coveted honor. Here are the rules: (1) Select someone in […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, NOV. 20, 2012) — When the business keeps losing money, when its product continues to decline in quality, when its customers lose confidence in its line, and when all this occurs in a recession, you would never see the employees of that business […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, NOV. 19, 2012) — You want to read the fate of such towns that continue down the path of Pittsfield? Pull up a chair and read of the fate of San Bernardino. That’s what’s coming down the pike for Pittsfield, Mass. Case in point […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, NOV. 16, 2012) —  Unbelievable as it would have appeared on Oct. 10, the city council took the spoiled lemons from Oct. 9’s no-confidence debacle and found a way to make it worse. The council didn’t make lemonade. It took the fruit and tried […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, NOV. 15, 2012) — At the city council meeting Tuesday night, our Right Honorable Good Friends took a sad song and made it sadder. They did this, Jude, with (mostly) good intentions. Of course, we all know about good intentions and roads. In […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, NOV. 14, 2012) — City council meetings are a lot like watching a baseball game on TV: there’s a lot of inaction, routine action, and boredom, every now and then punctuated by engaging action. The good plays come in bursts, the way light […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, NOV. 13, 2012) — CAUTION: TODAY’S PLANET CONTAINS EXPLOSIVE AND SUBVERSIVE MATERIAL. THE CITY AND THE SCHOOL DEPARTMENT DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE AWARE OF THE REPORT CONTAINED AT FULL LENGTH IN OUR COLUMN. READ IT AS YOU WILL. IT’S LENGTHY, BUT […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, NOV. 12, 2012) — “On Veteran’s Day, put out your flags, cheer the marchers at parades, and go to tributes. But when you wake up the next day, Nov. 12, remember that it’s still Veteran’s Day for our veterans — and it will […]