By DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, FEB. 23, 2015) — There has been speculation culminating in a warning about the recent uproar over poor performance by Pittsfield’s Public Services Department led by commissioner Bruce “Colon” Collingwood and Highway Division head Kevin Swail (rhymes with “fail.”).

The line of thinking warns citizens not to be distracted by the noise over handling of snow removal and to concentrate, rather, on The Big One looming up ahead in a few weeks, namely, the council’s vote on funding the proposed $130 million Taconic High School project. The implication is that The Suits want people to vent over the roads and forget about the school proposal, knowing that spring will soon take care of what Collingwood’s Colons did not. Collingwood’s Colons, not to be confused with Darby’s Rangers or Merrill’s Marauders, are the poor chaps who have to sacrifice their capabilities to obey orders from public-service dunces such as Colon, Fail, and mayor Daniel Bumstead.

THE PLANET doesn’t place much stock in the speculation. First, The Bumstead Administration isn’t smart enough to be so devious. It relies on a fatal combination of hubris, arrogance, and stupidity to achieve the desired effect. Second, Mother Nature decides her own course, immunized as she is from the manipulations of petty politicians and beggarly bureaucrats. Third, as The Suits lead citizens and taxpayers closer to the financial guillotine so that a select few among The Special Interests might be rewarded with lucrative contracts (we would never suggest bribes and kickbacks, of course, unless or until we see hard evidence), you can be sure THE PLANET shall be raising whatever dull roar we can manage.

That Being Said, the Road Work Is Still Megaflopping

Meanwhile, we share several more observations about the exiguous abilities of Colon and Fail.

(1) THE PLANET has confirmed with city sources the report that as of the beginning of June 2014, Pittsfield had 1,500 tons of magnesium-treated salt in its pile. That is salt that works when temperatures fall below 12 degrees F. It will melt snow and ice to -35 degrees F. Guess Bumstead didn’t know about this product. He stated that the reason the city hasn’t salted the streets is because of the below-12 temperatures. Right.

(2) We know that from June to the middle of January, the city had no need to use treated salt. Yet, when the temperatures dipped from the Polar Vortex, Pittsfield did not apply treated salt to the roads. Why? Was there no salt left? Where did it go? Did someone steal it? Was there an inside job? Will the mayor, Collingwood, or Swail swear on their Davy Crockett iron-ons that there was no such scandal? If so, can they explain where the missing salt went? These are questions for the city council on Tuesday, when they have Colon and Fail in the docks for questioning.

(3) In addition to a grade of F- on the handling of snow and ice, Colon and Fail also have let down citizens and taxpayers by creating other road hazards. The most prevalent is potholes. Nearly four years of improper maintenance has created a pothole situation we can dub Operation Green Cheese because of roads turning into an uncanny resemblance to the surface of the moon. Moreover, the mismanagement of the Highway Department has resulted in preventable hazards such as this:

Open manhole in the center of Willis Street, near the Girls’ Club. The city left the hole exposed for three days. (Photo by Andy Poncherello)

This exposed manhole is located on Willis Street, near the Girls’ Club, in the center of the road. Lots of people, including children and youths, cross there or thereabouts.

This hole was left coverless for several days. When management finally got around to directing a remedy, it did not place a proper metal cover.

Rather, it moved the orange-and-white “hazard barrel” over the hole, where it can be easily knocked over by a a driver, a kid creating mischief, or even a strong wind.

As of the weekend, the hole still lacked a proper cover. THE PLANET doesn’t know what the status of the situation is today. If anyone drives by there, perhaps they can leave us an update comment.

Such conditions are totally unacceptable and preventable. There’s no way the hole should have been left like that. The situation never should have come up in the first place. THE PLANET must also add that we have requested comment from Collingwood, seeking whatever explanations he has, but our good friend did not return our call.

Citizens Must Pressure Council To Do the Right Thing on THS $$$ Vote

Getting back to the Taconic school decision, it will come down to our Right Honorable Good Friends on the city council. The vote will require a supermajority of 8 or more to pass. If 4 or more councilors find the  courage of righteous conviction, the project shall be defeated, winning for the city a great battle. You know, of course, that —

— The school population is for the first time in the city’s history below 6,000.

— That number continues to dwindle as folks move out of the city and parents remove their kids from Pittsfield schools via school choice.

— The city can barely support, sustain, and justify one high school, let alone two.

What can you do? Two things: First, contact your city councilor, telling him or her of your views. Second,  pack the council chambers when the crucial vote comes. You can be sure The Suits will try to stack the room with their stooges, plants, and shills. You, Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski, must meet their one with two, their two with three, their three with four.

It is in your hands.

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“Al di la means you are far above me, very far / Al di la, as distant as the lovely evening star. / Where you walk flowers bloom. / When you smile the gloom turns to sunshine / and my heart opens wide. / When you’re gone it fades inside and seems to have died.” — Connie Francis, “Al Di La,” (1962).

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.