BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION, JUNE 24-26, 2016) — Politicizing murder and mayhem should not surprise anyone, not even Democrats, who pulled perhaps the cheapest stunt ever seen in the House of Erstwhile Representatives.  A hundred people gunned down did not make a statement enough, not for the likes of a vampiric Nancy Pelosi, the ever-anticipated John Lewis, the vaginic and loathsome Debbie Wasserman Schultz, veep-to-be Granny Clampett Warren, and those of that ilk. Rhymes with “bilk.” Rhymes with “tit milk,” an expression from the streets referring to the kind of muthah’s sour mash that makes men and women of modest means and honest manners spew up the broken faith.

They sulked, they sat, they sang, them Dems. When the adult in the crowd, House Speaker Paul Ryan, tried to restore order to The People’s House, the petulant pro’gross’ives shouted him down. They are liberals, you see, and love divergent viewpoints — ONLY if they conform to theirs.

The anachronism that is John Lewis vowed to stay on the floor, literally, until he and his mamas make background checks tougher for those who want to buy a gun as well as prevent those in the “terror watch list” and the “no-fly list” from buying guns. Sounds good, except when you consider there are sufficient preventions and alerts in place. Omar Mateen got his guns, Annie, only because the FBI ignored multiple warnings, including those of the gun dealer, that this peace-loving lover of the all-loving Allah wanted an assault rifle for killing flies in his apartment.

The regs were in place. Perfection, however, took a holiday, the same one it’s been on since an Adam-less Eve bit the Apple. The plain and simple truth is that gun laws do not work. Gun regs look great on the whiteboard of fantasyland. They collapse upon implementation in real life.

The human heart kills. A Glock 9mm is as inert a piece of machinery as an AK-47 and the inanimate gears of a Rolex watch., and that’s the main flaw in the counterfeit arguments for more gun control. They don’t work. You can pass all the gun legislation you want. None of it will ever touch the human heart, where lives what The Divine Edgar called “The Imp of the Perverse.”

Who were these “representatives” wanting to pretend we live in a perfect world and camping on the House floor?

• Rep Emanuel “I’m Not Eldridge or Ward” Cleaver, who wore a pink suit and a pink pillow, which he hugged like a binky.
• Rep. Tammy Duckworth, who lost both her legs in Iraq, an unfortunate loss that she parlayed into election-by-sympathy.
• Lewis, a fossil revered for his stand with Martin King back in the day, who now blazes as a caricature of himself and his cause.
• House Minority Leader Pelosi, a lifer who can no longer blame PMSing for her irritability.
• Rep. John Yarmouth, who promised pizza, which instantly became the most significant move of his insufficiently anonymous House career.
• Rep. Scott Peters, who got a back rub — along with the hand job he gave to the Constitution.

As much as you may want to believe in unicorns and tea pots orbiting Jupiter, gun control doesn’t work. The world is not perfect but messy. Chicago banned gun sales. The murder rate skyrocketed, because the laws don’t apply to criminals. Take Pittsfield — please. Massachusetts has stringent controls, and yet this “renaissance” city has been plagued by nearly three dozen shootings this year. Gang members know how to get weapons as easily as you know how to buy orange juice. Banning guns only creates a lucrative black market. Finally, an infringement of any constitutional rights threatens all rights. Today, guns. Tomorrow, free speech, freedom of assembly, and a free press.

End of discussion.

In vain, the Dems deny 

All passage save to those who won’t depart.

Not to the untruthful eye

Will we give in, nor to the broken heart.

The Comment Line is now open.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

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“I wanna be the one who walks in the sun. Girls just wanna have fun.” — Cyndi Lauper

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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