BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

PROGRAM NOTE: Be sure to catch PLANET VALENTI TELEVISION tonight at 6:30 p.m. on Spectrum TV local access, channel 16. Supercitizen Terry Kinnas joins us as we continue our autopsy on the cadaverous official Pittsfield. … with love, of course. The show re-airs same channel Monday at 12:30 p.m. (“noon-thirty”), Wednesday at 6:30 a.m. (early bird), and Thursday at 12:30 a.m. (“midnight-thirty”).

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(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY JUNE 13, 2017) — As vice president of the Pittsfield City Council, John Krol is only “a heartbeat away” — away from (a) meritocracy  (b) mediocrity  (c) meretriciousness  (d) mundanity  (e) all of the above (answer below).

Krol is the just-beginning-to-age but still “pretty boy” of city politics. He cuts a telegenic picture that the cameras cannot help but love on the radio/TV show he hosts from a public school. You know, the show where he touts how great the same public school is, the same as all the other Pittsfield public schools that ever-increasingly, for whatever reason, are still turning out too many kids with worthless diplomas. These fake sheepskins portend to represent honest academic achievement. Actually, they represent kids being told how great they are, with most of them, dum-dumbs or not, make honors or high honors. It’s part of the fake, the scam, that overwhelmed administrators, frustrated teachers, and enabling politicians hoist on the law-abiding, God-fearing, ordinary public.

Think how gorgeous Krol will look in his photo-ops when he runs again for his ward seat in this year’s election, with the actual intention of becoming the next council president. You might accuse THE PLANET of precocious psychic powers, even to the point of witchcraft, to be able make such a bold prediction about still-to-come campaign. You would be only partially correct. Our psychic powers extend to predictions of the New England Patriots winning the title and to the sun setting in the west. As for witchery, we can tell you who played Endora on the original Bewitched. It doesn’t take Agnes Morehead or Margaret Hamilton, for that matter, to realize that The Back Room Boys and Krol have the deal locked up: The ward seat is his, as is the council presidency, as long as the pawns keep “playing ball.”

Play ball? That should be simple for Krol, the talented former shortstop of the Taconic High School baseball Braves and Derek Jeter idolizer (for our shortstop tastes, THE PLANET takes Ernie Banks). Items on the checklist for re-election — not only for our Krol but for all other insider, establishment candidates — include:

(1) Shill for the Pittsfield School Department. Support their money requests. Back the superfluous positions they add to an already bloated bureaucracy. Give the United Educators of Pittsfield everything they want and more. Say it’s great that the PSD business manager makes $120K plus bennies and has nine, count ’em nine, women on her staff.

(2) Don’t rock The Boat. If THE PLANET has to explain “The Boat,” you haven’t been paying attention.

(3) Say the right things as far as We The People, but when it comes time for representation, put the ship on autopilot and bail out on Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski.

(4) Finally, always obey the orders of the local Democratic Committee, who get their orders from the state Dem cigar-chompers, who get their orders from … shucks, you get the picture.

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“Injuns? Why, there ain’t no injuns in these here parts.” — General George Custer

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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