DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE WEDNESDAY APRIL 25, 2018) — The degrees of separation exist in Pittsfield on a series of membranes so thin as to make manhole covers out of communion wafers. This rarified region occupies a Don Knotts level of thin. Take just about any issue in the city — please — and you can connect to slots. For example …

The preening of school committee chair Kathy “Lady Boots” Yon over the never-to-be-completed Taconic High School II induced a level of finger-down-the-throat not seen since … Since the last time Lady Boots spoke in public. Yon boasted of the project being on time and “under budget.” Curious, though, when THE PLANET pressed for dollar specifics, we got the old Ralph Kramden “homing, homing, homing” (we didn’t have the heart to tell her the proper word would be “homina”). The business calls it obfuscation — in lay man’s parlance “bullspitting.”

Speaking of BS about the actual cost of gigantic public projects, especially those on which We The People have no say, try to get a straight number out of city officials about the final cost to bedraggled taxpayers of the proposed $80 million “upgrades” to the city’s sewage treatment plant off Holmes Road. For whatever reasons, suspicious or otherwise, backers of this needless boondoggle refuse to say how much, specifically, this will ultimately cost homeowners and businesses. Councilor Chris Connell, an opponent of the move, estimates bills will rise 400%. The 4-7 vote to reject the administration’s plan first time around has a ring of eternal recurrence about it. Officials will keep bringing it back until one of the four opposed caves.

Caving and eternal recurrence faithfully describe the insidious gold bricking of the Berkshire Museum board. The board ran the museum nearly $12 million in the red, then to bail itself out put its best art up for auction. The inexcusable action of these pinky fingered dimwads faced all manner of opposition from citizens, the worldwide art world, and even, for a time, AG Maura Healey. As you all know, however, Healey caved to the witches on the board and meekly withdrew state opposition. No “back room understandings” attached to that one, eh?

Speaking of caving, noted spelunker and state rep. Tricia Farley Bouvier may have done so at the urging of “private sector” developer David Carver. The latter purchased the former St. Mary’s complex on “hip” Tyler Street, looking to create 29 “market rate” housing units there. What else but spelunking explains Bouvier’s sponsoring an amendment to the state FY19 budget that would funnel $200,000 of taxpayer funds to Carver? And we thought private developers got their risk capital from private lenders. Boo-Boo calls the giveaway a “Transformative Development Initiative (TDI).” Too bad that the Country Buffet Democrat hasn’t thought of a TDI for Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski. Incidentally, the noblesse state rep filed a provision to the budget that would tack on increased salaries for … Drum roll, maestro … teachers. The average pay for a Commonwealth teacher, bye the bye, stands at more than $72,000 a year plus bennies (Source, “Teacher Portal). Hang on to those wallets.

Regarding purses and billfolds, keep an extra tight grip, because Pittsfield has reconvened the Resource Recovery Commission. The RCC took up the garbage again after its “brilliant” toter plan fell “splat” upon hitting the ground from 14 stories up. Last week’s meeting included city finance director Matt “Kufflinks” Kerwood and someone named Veronique Blanchard. Pittsfield used a state grant to hire Blanchard as, get this, Municipal Assistance Coordinator.

It can’t be good.

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“Q: What turns an insect into an exclamation point. A: A car doing 90 on the New York Thruway” — Sir Tiberius Fruitjuice.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The Usual Disclaimer.