BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION AUG. 17-19, 2018) — “Progressive.” Etymologically speaking, it’s the substitute for “liberal,” a term that the left has abandoned after being found guilty of flipping its original meaning (“personal freedom restrained only by personal responsibility”) to something out of a political horror movie (“Big Government, cradle to grave”).

Beware of so-called “progressives,” especially any candidates going out of their way to use that word. It’s a word that in certain corridors of power in the Parthenon on Berkshire County’s Mount Olympus — a smoke-filled back room that’s moved from Remo’s to a round robin of various barrooms and golf clubhouses — eager office seekers pronounce with all the reverence of a minister enunciating “sinister.” It should give the careful voter pause in the race for District Attorney, where the two challengers to the incumbent are trying to “out-progressive” the other. Andrea Harrington and Judith Knight have been jostling to get to the left of each other so badly that it resembles a new dance.

The 1920s had “The Charleston.” The 1940s had “The Jitterbug.” The 1950s has the “Bunny Hop.” The 1960s had “The Twist.” Well, today in 2018, Berkshire County as well as the entire Commonwealth has “The Progressive.”

“You take two steps to the left / And two more the same direction /

Add public treasury theft / then steal the next election …

You’re doin’ The Progressive, The Progressive. 

You take two steps more to the left / and two the same old way /

let all the crims go loose / and make up some lame excuse …

You’re doin’ The Progressive, The Progressive.”

Sammy Vincent and his dance band could have gone to the top with this.

To hear Harrington and Knight try to out dance each other to the left suggests that Paul Caccaviello is, if anyone can wear label in this campaign, the “law and order” candidate. He would do well to keep pounding on his years as a prosecutor. The “get tough on crime” approach cannot lose in this race, for that is the one requirement citizens want and need from their top law enforcement official. In their public statements and respective campaigns, Knight (especially) and Harrington (less so) have not convinced anyone that either would have the needed “bulldog mentality” when it comes to prosecuting in the name of “The People.” One gets the sense that Harrington is using the “progressive” angle as a strategy and would have more iron in the actual office. Her better approach would be to let Knight wander off the cliff leftward and move toward the center. There are plenty of issues to provide the rationale for this. That’s where the momentum is for her and even, if she plays it right, victory. It surely will not be found in trying to vie with Knight for the “progressive” banner. That will only divide the anti-incumbent vote. It’s a sure loser.

One would have to get the transcripts of their remarks at the most recent debate, but Cacc’s opponents played the progressive cards like Yancy Derringer raising Bat Masterson. To save you the trouble, allow THE PLANET to present a quick guide to “What ‘Progressives’ Really Mean When They Say …” (with an assist from our good friends at akdart.com). Read this in the form of “When they say [blank], they mean [blank].”

• When they say “multiculturalism, diversity, inclusion, equal opportunity, or empowerment” they mean “racial and gender quotas.”
• “get the word out” = “sign up everyone in the lower class for a lifetime and lifestyle at taxpayers’ expense.”
• “invest in our future” = “spend as much public money as you can, whether it makes sense or not.”
• “disadvantaged” = “young criminal”
• “activist” = “troublemaker”
• “community” = “minorities only”
• “grassroots” = “poor people”
• “deficit reduction” = “higher taxes”
• “balanced approach” = “higher taxes”
• “contribution” = “higher taxes”
• “waste transfer station” = “dump”
• “graphic novel” = “comic book”
• “undocumented workers” = “illegal immigrants”
• “sexually active” = “promiscuous”
• “client” = multiple meanings, among them “drug addict, welfare cheat, gang member, and bum”
• “urban sprawl” = “progress, growth”
• “sub-optimal outcome, deferred success” = “the kid got an ‘F’ and flunked”
• “sustainable economy” = “socialism”
• “greed” = “private resources”
• “privileged” = “successful”
• “disenfranchised” = “too lazy or ignorant to vote”
• “raising awareness” = “brainwashing”
• “extended family” = “fatherless children, single mom, four different dads”
• “hate speech” = “any opinion that disagrees with ours”
• “for the children” = “for the teachers’ union”
• “it takes a village” = “collectivism”
• “cultural proficiency, mainstreaming” = “special privileges for minorities”
• “community medical services” = “free methadone and needles for heroin addicts”
• “equality” = “preferential treatment”
• “community development” = “wasting public dollars on ‘feel-good’ projects that accomplish nothing
• “minority” = “gang member”

Obviously, out lexicon can’t cover all utterances, but as the three candidates for D.A. blather on in this issue-less campaign, keep this list handy. It may save your life.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

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“If you want to get there fast, go alone. If you want to get there safely, go with somebody” — Sir Tiberius Fruitjuice.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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