BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY DEC. 17, 2018) — Bring on the dancing girls. Sit John Kiley behind the Wurlitzer for his stirring rendition of “The Night They Invented Champagne.” Open bar, everyone, on us!

Stop the presses! Call the roller of fat cigars! Crown the Emperor of Ice Cream!!!!

Pittsfield is getting Wayfair, an ecommerce furniture company. To hear city officials tell it, it’s the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius. Peace and understanding. Harmony and love abound.

[AFTER FANFARE, CUE AUDIENCE TO CALM DOWN]

Foist things foist, THE PLANET congratulates the online furniture company for selecting Shire City for a branch location that will bring, so they say, 300 jobs to the city. One of the coolest aspects is that a Pittsfield lad is a partner in this enterprise. That’s welcome news, certainly, especially in a city with no functioning economy. But in our role in-house “realist” — a diagnostician called on in cases where the patient refuses to acknowledge her illness — let’s remind one and all not to lose our heads in the laughing gas being spewed by the politicians, officials, and bureaucrats who have turned into Gumby patting themselves on the back.

On closer inspection, this deal gets more and more, uh, “interesting.” These are the Imps that reside in the fine print of the details, the ones the back-patting Suits won’t mention.

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The 300 jobs, if they materialize, cannot of themselves make a dent in this past lost generation, 30 years where 20,000 manufacturing jobs vanished without trace in the Bermuda Triangle caused by successive administrations in love with reckless spending and not too fussy about accountability. Best case scenario is that Wayfair comes in, does well, and begins the building of a critical mass of new business involving other companies who want to move in as well. Worst case scenario is that the deal implodes in a case of turf wars, sham promises, and unsupported commercial optimism. The truth shall likely reside somewhere in between those points.

Speaking of points, here are a few that may escaped you during the throwing of rice, the release of 100,000 colorful balloons, and the confetti raining down in the bouncy house:

• Officials were initially secretive about the Pittsfield location of the new branch. Red flag #1.
• They said that a new facility would be built and that a developer had been chosen, BUT, and it’s a big one considering the city’s recent history with developers, they refused to identify who it was.
• Probing reveals the developer appears to be David Carver, the very David Carver who expressed surprise that the infrastructure of the St. Mary’s campus on Tyler Street was showing its age. The very David Carver who since then been pressuring city officials for millions in taxpayer money to fund his enterprise. Red flag #2.
• Wayfair received the largest tax break in state history, $31.4 million to grace Boston and Pittsfield. Officials wouldn’t clarify what part, if any, that Pittsfield is expected to swallow of that amount. In other words, this is again a form of the dreaded public-private partnership. Red flag #3.
• The jobs, advertised as 300, will be 188 in the first year, about 90 percent of them barely over minimum wage ($16/hour) — about $33,000/yr. Wayfair said if things go well, 74 positions would be added the second year (2020) and 42 the third (2021). If.
• Consider the evidential changing nature, already this early in the story, of the Pittsfield location. As part of its agreement with the state, Wayfair promised to build a new facility in Pittsfield, cost $2.87 million. Now, with the cat out of the bag, city officials are talking leasing, not building. Red flag #5.
• Leasing where? It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at The Clock Tower building, home of The Boring Broadsheet, still half empty, and — in another of those Pittsfield coincidences — managed by David Carver. Yes, THAT David Carver. Red flag #6.
• Leasing would give the Wayfair move all the permanence of a ball of cotton candy in a carnival kid’s mouth. Remember the Alamo and the lost list of other businesses that came into town on huge fanfare — EV Worldwide, 1,000 jobs; WorkshopLive, hundreds of jobs; Nuclea, too many jobs to mention; Spice, the Renaissance personified; the Beacon, 250,000 fannies a year. We could go on. Stop us if you’ve heard this one before.
• Another slip of the tongue that got beyond everyone is how officials are now saying “Berkshire County,” not Pittsfield, in the move. Could Wayfair build, buy, or lease elsewhere? One official told THE PLANET he heard the former Country Curtains complex on Rt. 102 in South Lee as a possible site. The facility house a sophisticated facility perfectly suited for online work and warehousing.
• As we said earlier, the vast majority of the new jobs would be minimum wage range. A handful of managerial position would pay $55,000 a year, or half of what numerous city employees receive. Ah, thou art cruel, Dreaded Private Sector.
• It seems the only reason Pittsfield got included in the discussion was the accident of birth. One of the company’s cofounders was born here and is a 1991 PHS grad. That’s serendipitous, certainly, but a fluke is hardly a substitute for genuine planning and an authentic plan for meaningful economic development. Red flag #7 because how many more virgin births can be expected to come out of the Bethlehem that is Pittsfield.
• The website Nasdaq.com lists the number of Wayfair employees as 2,104, not the 10,000 officials cited in their announcement. Red flag #8.
• What are the financials? The website smarteranalyst.com reports a 3rd quarter loss for Wayside of $152 million. For the most recent fiscal year, on revenues of $574,144,000, Wayside had a net income of -$51,401,000. As in minus. Red flag #9. It lost money.

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We offer our realism without the churl, again, agreeing that if all this is on the up-and-up, it’s a small step in what may be a positive direction. Keep in mind, though, that this deal does nothing to address the decades of overspending by the city, as well as the flood of debt that at some point must be addressed.

Predictably, officials wore themselves out slapping themselves on the back at the Wayfair announcement. We heard words like “dynamic,” “comprehensive,” “strategic,” “collaborative,” and many other typhus-inducing verbiage too bacterial to mention. The state reps, the mayor, and other such rah-rah types had a field day.

THE PLANET wishes everyone well in this enterprise, but we’ve heard enough inside rumblings to be concerned. Our advice to Pittsfield taxpayers: Be scared. Be very scared.

No offense to Wayfair, but next time we need to replace the credenza, we’re heading to the Dumpster Behind Paul Rich.

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“Bald heads [are] forgetful of their sins” — first line of “The Scholars,” a lovely poem by W.B. Yeats.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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