BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY NOV. 3, 2021) — The big news from yesterday’s
election came in Ward 2, where independent challenger Charles Kronick, championed by THE PLANET, shocked the Machine-backed candidate by 60-40, in short, a landslide.

This results can be read as a mini-referendum on the Tyer Administration. Their in-the-pocket stooge, Matt Kudlate, couldn’t overcome the tidal pull of Kronick, who wore out the shoe-leather and out-campaigned his opponent, and THE PLANET, who educated enough voters to pull off the upset.

Here is a link to the unofficial results as provided by city clerk Michelle Benjamin:

SKM_458e21110220500

THE PLANET also takes credit for incumbent Yuki Cohen being ousted from the city council. We alone exposed the story of her questionable dealings from Meth on North, including the infamous bar-top, after-hours twerking. Yuki and Craig Benoit were out after polling, with Karen Kalinowsky joining incumbents Marchetti, White, and Persip.

The other significant development was the low turnout. THE PLANET didn’t have the official numbers as of press time, but initial results from the city clerk indicate a turnout of 20.67%.  In other words, almost 80% of the electors chose not to vote, another huge win for the most popular candidate of all time, None of the Above.

This, too, is another reflection of the Administration’s failure to involve its citizenry, the result of bad policy, a rubber-stamp council that won’t challenge the executive branch, and too much secrecy. As a result, all “winners” fell abysmally short of a mandate, splitting about 1/4 of the eligible electorate.

In the ward races, Ken Warren (Ward 1), Jim Conant (4), and Dina Lampiasi triumphed. For school committee, voters re-elected incumbents Bill Cameron, Mark Brazeau, Dan Elias, and Alison McGee. Challengers Sarah Hathaway and Vicky Smith took the other two seats.

All went pretty much as we called it. In fact, THE PLANET had the most accurate pre-election preview and predictions.

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We can also characterize this election thusly: The more things stay the same, the more they stay the same.

That tautological saying by the great Donald Turpentine, Knight of the Bath, perfectly encapsulates Tyertown’s Day of the Dead, what elsewhere is known as Election Day.

THE PLANET will keep our review of yesterday’s follies on the brief side. We are much more interested in what you have to say about the Hanging of Chad experienced in the town’s 14 precincts and seven wards. Give us your take. What do the results mean, if anything, to the lives of Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski? What does this say about the Tyer Administration? Did anything surprise or did things go the way you expected?

As Fizzlehead memorably put it, Pee Pee Marchetti had the nameplates made up in advance, for, you see, not much is unknown in Pittsfield elections prior to the vote — or after. As the great Pat Cooper said, “Born a dog you can’t die a cat.” The tentacled Machine sees to that. It goes by different names — the GOBSIGs, Special Interests, The Suits (THE PLANET‘s preferred designation) — but year after year, cycle after cycle, we witness the same dismal results:

• A further stifling of “representative government”
• Greater repression of the Kapanskis and the vanishing middle class through out-of-control spending and excessive taxation
• Protection, inducements, and freebies for the drug dealers, gangs, and other riff-raff
• Deeper sinecures for the inner circle.

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So what happened yesterday? Let’s look at the winners and losers:

WINNERS

• We The People, even before the first ballot was counted, after the council’s “Handgun” Moon, “Quick” Caccamo, plus the school committee’s “Lady Boots” Yon and “Color Me Clueless” Slaughter decided not to run as incumbents. Addition by subtraction.

• Ward 2 and the city for putting Kronick on the dais. Let’s see if he can come close to a fair impression of “Fighting Bob” LaFollette, something he promised during the campaign.
• No more Yuki. She played the victim card once too often.

LOSERS

• The Kapanskis, who once again get stuck with “lame duck” officials, none of whom can claim a mandate plus two more years of the Tyer Administration and it lapdog council. Also, don’t expect your new school committee to actually start to do its job.

• Everyone in the at-large race, where the the blanks received the most tallies. This tell us that voters followed our suggestion of bullet balloting. As we predicted, it ousted one incumbent (Cohen) and got a fresh face on the dais (Kalinowsky).

We turn it now to you for your election analyses, the one that counts the most.

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“A grave, wherever found, preaches a short and pithy sermon to the soul” — Berkshirite Nathaniel Hawthorne.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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