BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION AUG. 28-31) — Time for a fresh set of downs.

Even with THE PLANET thousands of light years away somewhere in the vicinity of Alpha Centauri, with the campers with us sworn to secrecy as to our location, the news hit. We speak of the forced exile of Ian Brown, new principal of Herberg Middle School, just days before the school year even begins, which is today (Thursday 8/28).

While the remainder of the local media either accepts interim supt. Latifah Phillips’ bureaucratic stonewalling as to why she gave Brown a time out (“[I am] not able to share that”) or they don’t simply have the contacts that we do, THE PLANET, without much trying, found out the reason.

School sources tell is that Philips dumped Brown after an internecine dispute that erupted at a recent faculty meeting. He’s on admin leave with pay. No word about the other participant in the hassle. She’s female, and the rest we leave to your imaginations.

It’s “Family Feud,” Herberg style!

According to well-placed source, “The principal had an ex-girlfriend who is also working at Herberg, and the two of them had a domestic fight right in the middle of a faculty meeting. He was put on leave following the domestic disturbance at school.  I believe this guy [Brown] was not called back to his position in South County, where he worked last year. I believe he had been employed at Monument Mountain. ”

Our source appears to be correct. Brown was assistant principal for career, vocational, and technical eduction at Monument. The school did not renew Brown after one year on the job.

Of course, we’d love to get official confirmation from the interim super, but as Greg Sukiennik of The Boring Broadsheet wrote, Phillips won’t spill. No one with the schools or school committee we talked to or tried to reach would go on the record. Neither will the 57 other assistant, associate, deputy, or assistant associate deputy superintendents employed by the school department at north of six figures each.

THE PLANET’s contacted Phillips and the mayor for comment. When the phone didn’t ring, we knew it was Phillips and the mayor not getting back to us. That’s what cowards do … rather, don’t do.

———- ooo ———-

In late June, Jennifer Stokes, Pittsfield’s Schools’ assistant superintendent for school transformation and accountability, announced Brown’s hire, which began on July 7. Stokes bubbled over the new hire, saying he would “build strong relationships … with staff.”

To say the least.

For that bit of neorealistic fiction, Stokes wins this Understatement of the Summer Award (UTOSA). The city’s mess of a public school system has a virtual trademark on THE PLANET‘s coveted UTOSA. In all this, one wonders how stoked Stokes remains on the hire.

Interim Phillips, herself new to the super’s chair, had previously worked in the Lowell school district as  the “chief engagement officer” for–wait for it!–diversity, equity, and inclusion. That’s known in these parts as DEI. THE PLANET, owing to our education in the classics, sees “DEI” as object of the preposition in the Latin phrase describing God. Two radically different understandings, the same degree of reverence.

We share this while observing without prejudice that Brown is white, middle aged, and male. Talk about three strikes and you’re out.

In idle wonderment, do you think the same thing would happen if, oh, say, Brown was black. Better yet, how about black, without proper academic credentials, and suspected by the Feds of–oh, say, drug dealing. Ah, but Pittsfield schools would never hire someone like that to a top administrative position, say, a Dean of Students. Right?

As the old TV show Dragnet used to put it, dum de dum-dum.

———- ooo ———-

When asked for the reason of Brown’s recent renown, Philips hid behind “it’s a personnel issue.” Funny how they schlep bedraggled taxpayers with the $173 million bill it takes to run the school spit show, but when it comes time to transparency and honesty about a department gone bad, no deal.

Phillips, who must be wondering what kind of cesspool she got herself in, told the Herbergians to relax. Everything’s under control. We got this.

Right.

In addition to the office of the principal, Herberg employs an assistant principal of teaching and learning… as well as two–count -em, two–plain ol’ assistant principals. With the secretary, taxpayers are looking somewhere near half a million bucks to keep the underperforming school underperforming. It’s been one of the worst, as evidenced by the mass exodus caused by parents exercising school choice to better schools in other districts. If you don’t believe us, just ask the State Department of Education.

Now, back again to being lost in the wilderness.

Ga-bye.

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“Don’t you wonder what these phonies are like when the camera is not on?” — Sir Donald Turpentine, Knight of the Bath.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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