SNOW, YOU SAY? ‘TIS SNOW PROBLEM!
BY DAN VALENTI
PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY
(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE WEDNESDAY DEC. 3, 2025) — THE PLANET hesitates to call the snow we received yesterday a “storm.” A couple degrees more and it would have been rain. As it stands, however, seeing that so many in New England have become weather wimps, panic predictably set in. Holy men and hypocrites declared the End of Times, drug dealers and users wept and gnashed teeth (in some cases, “tooth”), and Mayor Lumpy slipped into a strap-on and ended up sailing along on Moonlight Bay.
=======================================================
GIVE THE PERFECT GIFT THIS CHRISTMAS!
A COPY OF DAN VALENTI’S BEST-SELLING BOOK ON STANLEY KUBRICK
NOW OF SALE AT BARNES & NOBLE, PITTSFIELD & AMAZON.COM
————————————————————————————————-
For the record, the City of Pittsfield posted the following:
Stay safe.
You gotta love that.
Snow totals?
Doesn’t matter. 3″? 5″? 59″?
As “Storms of the Millennia,” this one ranked just above a mouse sneezing on a snowdrift. It’s December. It’s New England. Stop The Friggin’ Press!!! We get snow!!!!!
Why, THE PLANET recalls back in the day we had to walk 128 miles in snow 70 feet deep, bare foot, whilst hiding in a rusty metal milk jug to elude packs of rabid weasels — and still making it to school on time. In days of old, schools didn’t close. The policy: “We will be open. Parents, you decide. Just know that if you keep your kid out, it counts against the record as “absent.”
———- ooo ———-
How did city plows do?
The necessary preface to that has to be that no amount of snow removal satisfies everybody. The people who enjoy crabbing will always crab, even if the plows got the roads bare enough so that you could see the misspelling of “School” on East Street in front of PHS.
That being said, there were numerous reports:
- Some streets ignored while other streets were plowed repeatedly
- Broken blades that hit bump outs
- The city ignoring illegally parked cars
- Plow jockeys going too fast for the conditions, clogging driveways and sidewalks
- Numerous fender-benders from a combo of badly plowed streets and stupid drivers.
———- ooo ———-
All in all, the city’s performance handling a pittance of snow checked in with the usual grade.
Citizens of Bitchfield, aren’t you glad you live in a city with an Administration that cares so much about you?
————————————————————
“Bitchfield’s fortunate that snow never piles as high as political corruption” — Sir Donald Turpentine, Knight of the Bath.
“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”
LOVE TO ALL.
Copyright (c) 2025 By Dan Valenti, PLANET VALENTI and EUROPOLIS MANAGEMENT. All rights reserved. The views and opinions expressed in the comment section or in the text other than those of PLANET VALENTI are not necessarily endorsed by the operators of this website. PLANET VALENTI assumes no responsibility for such views and opinions, and it reserves the right to remove or edit any comment, including but not limited to those that violate the website’s Rules of Conduct and its editorial policies. Those who leave comments own all the responsibilities that are or can be attached to those comments, be they rhetorical, semantic, or legal. Such commentators remain solely responsible for what they post and shall be and remain solely accountable for their words. PLANET VALENTI shall not be held responsible for the consequences that may result from any posted comment or outside opinion or commentary as provided in, but not limited to, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act and this website’s terms of service. We serve as a marketplace of ideas, without prejudice and available to all. All users of this site — including readers, commentators, contributors, or anyone else — hereby agree to these conditions by virtue of this notice and their use of/participation in this site. When PLANET VALENTI ends with the words “The Usual Disclaimer,” that phrase shall be understood to refer to the full text of this disclaimer.
By tomorrow we will hear from the mayor that the city has already gone through its snow budget and needs to upfund it. Look for this to happen a few times during the year. The last few years received a comparative pittance of the usual snowfalls but budget numbers were still not pared nor were there any excess monies to be put back into the coffers. And don’t go talking about audits or crazy shit like that. Not in Pittsfield you don’t. Stop it right now. And what the hell is an audit anyway? Sounds like a made up word.
They wiped out my neighbors totes on west st. They weren’t near the road. Heard there were many lawn frontages dug up. Good grade though. F
Even the Snowman said it is too much to the 2-Pete’s.