IN BITCHFIELD, THE LITERAL HAS BECOME FIGURATIVE
BY DAN VALENTI
PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY
(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JULY 29, 2026) — On a recent break from the farm, THE PLANET found ourselves back in the USSR, you know, The Berkshires. We ran into a Bitchfield acquaintance of some political renown who said a remarkable thing: “[The city] is like a madhouse with the patients in charge.”
It’s sad to see a city become a metaphor, but that’s what has happened.
A metaphor is a figure of speech using the heightened powers of allusion and association to expand the rhetorical points in an observation. Figurative language comes in three varieties: simile, metaphor, and personification.
- A simile makes an indirect comparison, a “this” in terms of “that.” For example, if THE PLANET writes “Shafts of sunlights pieced through the open window,” we’re likening sun rays to spears.
- Metaphor makes the comparison using “like” or “as,” as in “Harry fought like a lion.”
- Personification endows human characteristics to non-human things: “The flames reached its arms around the shed.”
As you can see, such comparisons are not to be taken literally. Ironically, that’s their power.
STREET LIGHTING
Back to Bitchfield, the only way to endure the politics that have ruined it is to take it figuratively. Then you can laugh and stay sane. Take the dim night lighting. Please. The crime corridor of Tyler Street “enjoys” street lamps whose dimness emboldens criminals, druggies, and other children of the night. The lamps bathe the neighborhood in an eerie twilight that casts a fictional glow over the all-too-real activities occurring there. The lamps are a metaphor for the way Bitchfield refuses to properly illuminate its issues. Like all slithery creatures, the mayor and council love the dark. If you doubt that, ask Lumpy, Dumpster, or Voltron why they haven’t pressed the school department HARD to release the PHS scandal report.
TRAFFIC
Clogged roads provide another “this” in terms of “that.” With the population of respectably people, the Joe and Mary Jane Kapanskis, declining, and the influx of drifters and deadbeats who can’t afford cars, you wonder why getting from any “here” to “there” presents motorists such aggravation. THE PLANET has figured it out. It’s because the roads aren’t literal. They’re actually another means by which city officials can intensify the hassle of daily life for its good citizens.
Why else, except figuratively, would a city government use so many confusing street markings? Why else would there be so many traffic signals? Why else would the traffic lights be uncoordinated so as to ensure as much stop-and-go as possible? Why else would it take 45 minutes to go from one end of the city to another? Why so many unused bike lanes? Why such shoddy maintenance? Metaphors, all.
QUALITY OF LIFE
This is harder to quantify, but we all know it when we see it. Public places are dirtier. There’s more trash and litter doing like tumbleweeds in Dry Gulch. People are hesitant and even afraid to venture downtown and its nearby offshoots (Tyler, Linden, and so on). Lots of graffiti, unkept yards, bad actors, drug traffic … look, we could go on until the tires wear down to rims. The point is that because of the lack of quality, character, and integrity in the mayor’s office, the city council, the school committee, school department administration, and in other offices , Bitchfield has not stemmed its long, slow decline.
And that too has to be taken figuratively, since it’s the perfect metaphor for the careless attitude of city politicians.
There’s an election coming up next year.
Do you think it will make any difference?
That, too, can’t be literal.
Jokes are never literal, but they are true.
———————————————————————
“I’m not alone, then I am. People seem to think I’m Superman” — Robin Trower band, Bridge of Sighs album.
“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”
LOVE TO ALL.
Copyright (c) 2026 By Dan Valenti, PLANET VALENTI and EUROPOLIS MANAGEMENT. All rights reserved. The views and opinions expressed in the comment section or in the text other than those of PLANET VALENTI are not necessarily endorsed by the operators of this website. PLANET VALENTI assumes no responsibility for such views and opinions, and it reserves the right to remove or edit any comment, including but not limited to those that violate the website’s Rules of Conduct and its editorial policies. Those who leave comments own all the responsibilities that are or can be attached to those comments, be they rhetorical, semantic, or legal. Such commentators remain solely responsible for what they post and shall be and remain solely accountable for their words. PLANET VALENTI shall not be held responsible for the consequences that may result from any posted comment or outside opinion or commentary as provided in, but not limited to, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act and this website’s terms of service. We serve as a marketplace of ideas, without prejudice and available to all. All users of this site — including readers, commentators, contributors, or anyone else — hereby agree to these conditions by virtue of this notice and their use of/participation in this site. When PLANET VALENTI ends with the words “The Usual Disclaimer,” that phrase shall be understood to refer to the full text of this disclaimer.
July 29, 2026
Hello blogger Dan Valenti,
Pittsfield’s spending goes up, while the city services diminish.
Senior Citizens and others on fixed-incomes are at risk of losing their homes due Pittsfield’s excessive city spending that always amounts to tens of millions of dollars per fiscal year MORE than Pittsfield’s peer small cities such as Westfield and Fitchburg.
Small businesses in Pittsfield know all too well that the city’s Commercial Tax Rate is the 2nd highest in Massachusetts; Holyoke is 1st. It is the institutionally corrupt “PAY to PLAY” SCAM, and if you give enough money to the state and local political hacks then City Hall might throw your small business a bone or two in the form of tax breaks and other so-called government incentives.
Earl and the 2-Pete’s NEVER consider cutting city spending. The city’s operating budget ALWAYS increases each and every fiscal year.
Pittsfield’s taxpayers are already very financially constrained by rising inflationary costs for groceries, energy, and housing.
The alliterative phrase “Pittsfield politics pounds, pummels, pulverizes, punishes people’s purses” captures the intense taxpayer frustration over local government spending, rising property taxes, and increasing utility costs in Pittsfield, Massachusetts.
The only economic growth in “the Pitts” is with the city’s large underclass population, the city government’s unrelenting over-spending of taxpayers’ dollars, and Lumpy’s BIG beer belly.
Pittsfield is a cult-town of political insiders who would not be anyone special if they lived elsewhere. The members of the cult known as Lumpy, the Dumpster, and Voltron the Pork-Chop all refuse to speak with blogger Dan Valenti.
Best wishes,
Jon Melle (the have-NOT, who does NOT live in a $1 million mansion in Pittsfield’s elitist Gated Community west of Berkshire Community College close to the Hancock border like….I won’t write the Devil’s other name with an O at the end).
Heard the city has a lot of unfilled jobs. Cannot get or keep good help. Used to be that you needed to pass a civil service test but more importantly be connected to a high-level city or special interest peep. Now your sexual preference might be a deciding factor. But due to the ever graduating social decline in both education and poor parenting the potential employee pool is ever thinning.
Combine this with the top level being preloaded with special interest advocates and you have what Pittsfield has been and is now.
They cannot even get a level grade under the Hubbard ave bridge so that the thousands of cars, trucks and buses that bump and bang their way through there every day do not damage their front ends or tires, but no problem with powering through a 30 million dollar entertainment venue on Waconah street. The focus is on special interest desires while basic needs and common-sense improvements seem very low on the priority list. i.e. Big hullabaloo and needing million dollar road improvements when a pedestrian is hit but cannot or will not paint crosswalks on jaywalkers playground/Tyler street. Make this make sense.
This is the lens in which I see the Marchetti/Persip operation which is almost identical to the Tyer/Marchetti charade not so long ago.
Some people drag out the old “vote these people out” mantra. But voting for change in Pittsfield is like changing diapers. The new clean one does not take long to look and smell just like the old one.
Yeah what a joke.Lu’py and flats hired all these d e I LGBTQIA’s and even they do t want to work. Funny. Is the d e I director still hanging on. Of Course,he’s propbably making more than the Mayor.
Dan says Pittsfield has become a metaphor. I think he’s right, although I’d take his argument a step further.
The city isn’t failing because the streetlights are dim, the roads are confusing, or downtown has more empty storefronts than anyone cares to admit. Those are symptoms. They’re visible reminders of something much larger. They reflect what happens when leadership spends more time managing perception than solving problems.
Pete Marchetti didn’t create every problem Pittsfield faces. No mayor could. But leadership isn’t measured by whether problems exist. It’s measured by how those problems are confronted, whether difficult conversations are welcomed, and whether the public believes City Hall is listening instead of defending itself.
That’s where this administration has struggled.
Over the past several years, residents have repeatedly raised concerns about public safety, homelessness, transparency, downtown businesses, school controversies, and the overall direction of the city. Instead of inspiring confidence, too often the response has been to reassure everyone that things are improving while asking them to ignore what they’re seeing with their own eyes.
You can only tell people that everything is getting better for so long before they begin wondering if they’re living in the same city their elected officials are describing.
Dan used streetlights as his metaphor. I don’t think the streetlights are the metaphor at all.
The Marchetti administration is.
When residents ask difficult questions and receive carefully crafted talking points instead of direct answers, that’s a metaphor.
When reports become political footballs instead of public documents, that’s a metaphor.
When people begin believing that connections matter more than accountability, that’s a metaphor.
When volunteers, business owners, neighborhood advocates, and ordinary taxpayers feel dismissed instead of heard, that’s a metaphor.
Government doesn’t lose public trust all at once. It happens gradually. Every unanswered question, every delayed response, every controversy that fades away without resolution chips away at confidence until people stop expecting answers altogether.
That’s the dangerous part.
The issue isn’t whether every criticism is fair. Of course it isn’t. Every administration has critics. The issue is that too many people, from too many different backgrounds, are expressing the same frustration: they no longer feel represented by the people elected to represent them.
That’s not a communications problem.
That’s a leadership problem.
An election is coming next year, and Dan wonders whether it will make any difference. It will—but only if voters stop asking who gave the best speech or cut the most ribbons and start asking a much simpler question.
Has Pittsfield become a city where more people want to stay than leave?
Because if the answer to that question continues to be “no,” then the metaphor isn’t the city.
It’s the administration that convinced itself everything was fine while the people living here kept saying otherwise.
What would make me take this administration serious?
Release the PHS scandal report as was suppose to have happened. Really bad look for the city and its administrators. Hiding shit came back to bite Miss Halls school in the ass in the end and that isn’t over yet.
Print out a breakdown copy of the business’s getting tax breaks. Amounts, how long have they been getting them and how long will they be getting them. Then give a total for all tax breaks given in the last 20 years. This reward program was supposed to be for all the hiring and good things they would be bringing to the city so if the whole thing is legit, they should be proud of it and proud to show the taxpayers how well it is working. Because for every tax dollar these business’s do not or did not pay, that dollar had to be made up by other taxpayers who were NOT getting breaks. And many of them are senior citizens on fixed incomes who may be wondering why they are subsidizing millionaires who never needed the tax breaks in the first place.
Make some serious budget cuts. Does every city employee need his or her own vehicle? Should the city really be buying school supplies for all the kids? Can we go a year or two without all the botanical adornment along city streets and tell us just how much that has cost in the last few years. All of it, planters shrubs, trees, flowers etc. and who are the vendors for all this largess?
Just because people like the mayor and his buddies are not being battered by the high costs of insurance, electricity, cable, basic home repairs and food does not mean the rest of aren’t. City spends too much on frilly and feel-good stuff and not all of us can afford it.
And yes, I do realize that venting is the only release there is because nothing will be changing.
Good luck.
The reason the city is flat is because the money goes to all the wrong places.
Veronica
Has now attempted to switch canoes, midstream , during a down pour_
Berkshire Distracted Attorneys office < used same tactic , to frame Grisly Triple Murder -defendants…. Didn’t help Clueless or Protector Pedo Paul either, in case you forgot….
The Pivot is predictable, like Bernie to Killary , Autopen to Kameltoe- Platner To Jacka*%….
ad your coronated here….
City is FAILING because of STOLEN ELECTIONS!!!!
Lumpy has been under the table , Clownslurper, for decades- Vermonica must be New to Shitsfield Swamp Politics, NOT
Vermonica , Which Criticisms arrent fair?
Communization is very much the Issue, as Propaganda Parrot, is only information useful idiots receive!
Vermonica thinks Timmy the Fixer, has a chance of being Mayor!
Timmy Derangement syndrome to the delusional level….Almost as bad as Dan
Who can afford to give away their most valuable asset (Their Home) to escape Shitsfield?
More Timmy the Fixer Work
During a June 22 hearing, Judge Mulqueen fielded arguments on defense attorney Joshua Hochberg’s motion to dismiss the case and to seal the grand jury testimony. Hochberg did not respond to requests for comment.
In opposing the motion to dismiss, Berkshire District Attorney Timothy Shugrue argued that grand jury testimony reached the level of evidence necessary to indict Anderson, even over 45 years later.
However, Judge Mulqueen decided that this evidence was not enough to support the claims.
Another PEDO gets a PASS….
7/29/26@3pm
Tom
** I keep getting a red alert stating “this comment is not acceptable”
I also receive that every time I post. If I try to repost it tells me something like I am working too fast. Eventually it will go through.
Val
Welcome to planet valenti,
Sorry about that. Let us look into it. Thanks for the information.
Ain’t so bad. Dan. Prediction unless something is changed and changed fast as it has already happened. Onota at Columbus and St. Marks bump out soon to be tradgedy.
Cars and drivers are to reckless for this not to happen. Also children by cycling on side streets are at great risk. Please get the word out I don’t want to be right on this one.
Also Churchill at Cascade today looks like a lake be careful there .
Been going on for two months. I just ignore it as for the most part stuff goes through anyway.
Happens to me too. No clue as to why except the robot is loco.
Not acceptable:
Another gem from the Witch running the state. :
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/07/massachusetts-lawmakers-create-dei-hiring-program-give-muslims/
“Liberal lawmakers in true-blue Massachusetts are creating a new commission which is essentially a DEI hiring program that will benefit Muslims looking for state jobs.
When did it even become the job of lawmakers to do anything like this? And why do it specifically for Muslims? It doesn’t even sound legal.
It’s just another reminder of what comes with one-party rule……”
Ward Clark of RedState commented on this:
Yeah, we saw this. Muslim job applicants shall be given favor over infidels. Another Mass Miracle!
Hold onto your tampon. The site is free.
Thanks, QA! Free is it, free it shall be. To keep up with the new protocols of cyberspace requires constant updates. Seeing as how we are not OpenAI or Chatgbt and do not have unlimited billions to pour into our systems, THE PLANET does a decent job of keeping the site (a) OPEN, (b) free, and (c) interactive. The Comment Line requires an entire set of tech and plugins, and we believe that with no other area site providing live, real-time comments, it’s our most important function. Because the tech changes are happening so fast, we are bound to have delays and backup from time to time. Until someone makes a six-figure (to the LEFT of the decimal point) contribution for our backstage systems, we shall do our best. That continues to be our promise, and people who access this site need to understand that and realize that, for a one-man show, this is actually a quite sophisticated operation. Be patient. Be cool. Give thanks.
Inmates running the asylum, much?
Is it a glitch or a feature- is the question- the Planets missed lede.
Upward failure is the Demonratic Party policy, only those of low intelligence, integrity and ingenuity, need apply.
Fortunately it leaves the party , without decent candidates.
With the demise of fake news, it is becoming increasingly difficult for them to win.
Hence the dumbing down of citizens and importation of a welfare controlled voting base.
Seeing the pattern yet?
The outbreaks seem to radiate from areas with DLA Piper law offices.
Kameltoe’s husbands former firm- wonder how alll those fake licenses arrived in Boston…. Via China
FYI
New Jersey has a lot more than 6600 illegal demonrats with licenses.
Only apposition of Save America Act- have ties to China, ICYMI
Seeing the pattern yet?
Markey and Moron Healey in a panic about election oversight workers….
Door don’t open, the window will.
Trump setting stage for a national security order, which isn’t reviewable by judiciary.
With outbreak of Judicial Activism by District Courts, Supreme Court will issue an emergency nationwide injunction, against Distracted courts.
The Bonus is Kameltoe will be embroiled in a treasonous scandal, ruining her 2028 prospects.But she is all they have:)
Follow the money
DNC is mortgaging headquarters, to obtain a paltry 15 million dollars, bringing total cash on hand to 13million. Seems USAID was where money came from….
Trump pack has 400,000,000$
RNC 250,000,000$
With record donations still coming in.
DNC is dead, only movement left is nervous system shaking.
Fake news will go the same way…
Self inflicted….
Hubris is a great quality, to have in an adversary.
“ never interrupt your enemy, while he is making a mistake “
Napoleon.
Without protection of State and Federal prosecutors, the corruption will be exposed and prosecuted-
Shitsfield can hide information from citizens, the federal prosecutors, will be busy in DLA Puper areas.
DLA foisted Odumber on America, then Fauci used Covid to cost Trump 2020 via mail in ballots.
Mamdummy… is just latest Manchuria candidate
How will Taxatwoshits explain the missing voters, in midterms?
7/29/ 26@7am
Tom
Donations? No. Payoff for controlling everything invested. Aside. Bull neck Lindseyswealth was quoted as A little over a million. Bullshit. Dean audit on that. H Is support for Israel got him tens of millions.
In my opinion, the decline of Bitchfield started under Jim Ruberto. A few of my friends are retired Pittsfield Police Officers and told me they started sounding the alarm of the POC scholars (Bloods) gang members from NYC setting up shop in Bitchfield in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. Jim Ruberto stated that Pittsfield doesn’t have a gang problem. The reason given, “it will scare the tourists.”
This was the beginning of the decline. Linda “Flat” Tyer-Clairmont, accelerated it to warp speed. Why?
You know the reason, “state grant money.”
Oh, I almost left out the most important part, “it made the Berkshires the envy of outsiders with all of the diversity and inclusion we have,” Linda “Flat” Tyer-Clairmont.
The bums, drug addicts, and prostitutes, got so bad in Bitchfield, Flat had to roll out the city’s toughest vigilante, Dirty Barry Clairmont, to quell the citizens fears.
Dirty Barry Clairmont, after downing a giant Big Gulp slushie and a pound on peanut M&M’s, DB began filming how “safe” the parking lot was at Cumby’s on First Street. The only issue was, Dirty Barry decided to film on a Monday morning at 4AM, when it was 30 below zero out, and the only a$$hole who dared to brave the elements outside was him with his camera.
Lumpy Matchetti, acts like he’s Flat’s younger brother and can’t make a decision without her (or Dirty Barry’s) approval. Come to think of it, it’s probably why he was their chosen one.
Lumpy is a one-term mayor. Big Dumpster Earl, with the Bitchfield powerbrokers, will be our next mayor.
He has all of the qualifications to be the next mayor of Bitchfield, just like Da Dancin’ Dean, Lavonte Wiggins, had the qualifications to be the Dean of Students at PHS.
What are those qualifications, for the Big Dumpster:
*He’s a black male
*He’s a black male
*He’s a black male
What does all this mean?
Nothing is going to change, except the continued downward spiral of our once great city.
Makus
East Coast Bloods , indeed were assisted in Hostile takeover or Shitsfield Drug trade.
Your missing the Capeless/ Caccaviello Distracted Attorneys Office , contribution to the transfer of power. Local Predatory Pharmaceutical peddlers , children live in area. Judiciary likes compromised children, to molest….
Follow DARE Officers providing, Grooming and intimidating victims to Pittsfield Distracted Court…..
Grisly Triple Murder, was to discredit, long running calming Criminal enterprise, resulting in UPTICK in violence, overdoses and criminal activity. In exchange for Campaign contributions, FOLLOW THE MONEY….
Nilan Scandal, Dipshit Carnevale and Windsor Pond Drug burns gone bad, Shootings….ALL STARTED AT COURT COMPLEX….
Saddam calmed the Middle East, until Bush/cheney war criminals, got Halliburtin donations- Again Follow the Money…. Not hard- you seem smart, kinda
Planet lost keyboard keys to Timmy the Fixer….
Seeing the pattern yet?
7/29/26@3;20 pm
Tom
TB
Your unhealthy obsession with our relationship with the DA is apparent. As for the pattern, you HAVE BECOME the pattern. Patterns, you see, are repetitive, predictable, and ultimately boring.
Ohreally.Finally I agree sir on your diatribe.Finally. Dirty Barry was the kicker. 30 below…classic. But the coffee@30 below was appropriate. A shout out to Melissa.
And how did you lose Ward Seven after winning the primary? And what were you sued for? Really? For saying a person involved with a Mayoral Candidate was inappropriately in a voting office ? Who represented you by the way. I’ll stay away from that attorney.
The Ballad of Lumpy, Earl, and Wimpy White
In the town of Bitchfield, where chaos feels right, Lived Mayor Lumpy — a man of questionable insight. With Dumpster Earl and Wimpy White at his side, They ran the whole city like a carnival ride.
The state sent a check — one point six million bucks! To help folks with opioids, rebuild lives, change their luck. But Lumpy just grinned with his trademarked delight: “Let’s hire new positions we don’t need — that feels right!”
Dumpster Earl cheered, “Let’s hire a Chief of Garbage Philosophy!” Wimpy White added, “And a Director of Gourmet Bureaucracy!” The residents groaned, “This money was meant for us!” But Lumpy replied, “Relax — don’t make such a fuss.”
They drafted new roles with ridiculous flair: A Deputy of Paperclip Management, A Commissioner of Chair Repair, A Senior Supervisor of Nothing in Particular, And a Seasonal Assistant to the Seasonal Assistant’s Circular.
Meanwhile Wimpy White, the food critic supreme, Spent half the budget reviewing “government cuisine.” He wrote: “The city’s funds pair nicely with wine — Especially when the wine is entirely mine.”
Dumpster Earl strutted around with a trash-can crown, Declaring himself “King of Waste” all over town. He hired twelve interns to watch him sit, And called it “advanced refuse leadership.”
The townsfolk revolted — they’d finally had enough. They marched to City Hall, loud, angry, and tough. But Lumpy just waved from his ergonomic throne: “Your concerns have been noted… and will be promptly ignored.”
So Bitchfield remains a bureaucratic parade, Where nonsense is policy and chaos is made. And Lumpy, Earl, and Wimpy White still reign with delight — Three kings of mischief in the Bitchfield night.
And all Flats retreads leading the fight.
Looks like you touched a hot nerve Dan.
Apparently so, YOGI!