BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY SEPT. 9, 2026) — “Small potatoes.”

That’s how Donald Trump described the latest rekindling with the on-again, off-again, on-again pan of hash browns in Iran. Trump should know about potatoes. You remember how during Campaign 2024 he manned the French fry station at a McDonalds and slung them pretty good. 

At least he did better with the earth apples than did VP Dan Quayle, who in 1992, visiting a New Jersey elementary school, participated in a spelling bee. Quayle’s word? Potato … only he spelled it with an “e” on the end. That caused a bright youngster to politely correct the Veep. And to think, this man was “a heartbeat away.” We never heard from him again.

This spud’s for us. 

Donald Trump knows small potatoes when he sees them.

———- ooo ———-

Back to hash-slinger Trump and the Iran albatross. THE PLANET has lost count. Let’s see. In our tally, the United States has now won that war 18 times. War. That’s what it is, isn’t it? VP J. T. Vance says no. It’s not a war. It’s a conflict. You know, like Vietnam, where 58,220 American troops met their end. Technically, Vance is correct, but try telling that to those who have died, who have been maimed, who have seen their lives ravaged. Judging by the ruined landscapes and massive destruction, “conflict” sure looks like “war” to us. Ah, but there’s always a buck to be made, so what’s all the fuss?

This latest quixotic odyssey in foreign adventurism began on Feb. 28, when Benjamin Netanyahu went unilaterally au gratin and launched a massive attack on the mullahs, frosting a pissed-off Donald Trump. The Donald’s big mistake was being unable to swallow his pride by admitting that Netan The Yahoo acted on his own and against his master’s wishes.

Trump could have left Israel to deal with the mess alone, but no. In June the year before, U.S. bombers had reduced Iran’s nuclear capabilities back to Baltic Avenue. That threat had been eliminated. THE PLANET says that while also stating a truth that no one wants to hear, namely, that as a sovereign nation, Iran has every justification in wanting nukes. It happens to be that countries with nuclear weapons remain free from America’s manifest destiny.

———- ooo ———-

Fast forward to today, and once more gas prices are climbing, settlement talks have fizzled, and hostilities have resumed. Both sides have dug in and they’re led by hard liners who love to posture as much as act. Iran promises to set up an exclusion zone in the Straight of Hormuz. Trump says don’t even think about it. Iran attacked a U.S. aircraft carrier and a destroyer, which our troops intercepted. America responded by hitting three Iranian oil tankers.

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In this ping-pong match, one wonders if perhaps one side or the other will go too far. What that might look like THE PLANET can’t say, although the most outside speculations carry enough potato flakes to make a grim picture indeed.

Speaking of back-and-forth, look for Trump to pay a price in November. No surprise there, since mid-terms usually allow the party not in power to play off the foibles of the current Administration. It’s an old game, and it will mean little for the 2028 presidential affair. By then, it may all be potato chips.

“Potato.”

Without the “e.”

————————————————————–

“You say potato, I say potato. Let’s call the whole thing off” — George and Ira Gershwin.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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