BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY APRIL 7, 2025) — Now that Bitchfield officially stands without a representative city council, school committee, or mayor, the mannequins occupying those offices feel fully free to act unencumbered by Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski. Sure, this has been the case somewhat in […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION APRIL 4-6, 2025) — THE PLANET looks at the current situation of Bithfield public schools: Level-5 “achievement” 90% of students unable to read or write at grade level Unprecedented levels of scandal Said report on scandalous allegations will be kept hidden […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 31, 2025) — Secrecy. That’s what school committee chair Bill Cameron promises citizens with respect to the findings of the “independent” investigation into allegations of sexual abuse of students at Pittsfield High School. It shouldn’t come as any surprise. THE PLANET called […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 28-30, 2025) — They caved, 4-1. You knew they would. THE PLANET speaks of the city council’s jellyfish ordinance and rules subcommittee (O&R), rejecting mayor Peter Marchetti’s proposed regulation to ban panhandling at five key intersections in the city. The […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 24, 2025) — Mayor Peter Marchetti’s initiative to ban people from standing in the medians of major roadways, the “Median Safety and Pedestrian Regulation in Public Roadways,” sets up an interesting political situation with respect to the mayor himself and the city […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 21-3, 2025) — Congratulation, folks. You made it through another New England winter. And on these early days of spring, allow THE PLANET to comment on a recent Sight of the Loons in Bitchfield’s Park Square. We refer to the […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FEAST OF ST. JOSEPH, MARCH 19, 2025) — That wailing and gnashing of teeth emanating from the Lair of the Progressives — a parched, forlorn place, that — comprise the notes from a funeral. The corpse, the U.S. Department of Education, died from bureaucratitis. […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 14-6, 2025) — Let’s see. What does Bitchfield’s “to do” list look like: Repair pot-holed roads Cut city spending Align assessed values with reality Lower taxes Address corruption and waste Clean house in the school department Audit the DPW Attract […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY MARCH 12, 2025) — Politicians lie. At every level of government, in every political party, they lie. It’s how they “win” elections and maintain office, often for a lifetime. THE PLANET doesn’t tell you anything new with this observation. We merely point it […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 10, 2025) — THE PLANET commends the management of the Colonial Theater for their swift actions following the Dumbocrats Sunday Hootenanny in honor of Sen. Ed Malarkey’s Combover. They hired a fumigator to get rid of the germs so they won’t later […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 7-9, 2025) — In his momentous speech Tuesday to a joint session of Congress, a victorious President Donald Trump lorded it over impotent Democrats in a masterful display of one-upmanship and rubbing it in. The Victory lap was merely the […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 3, 2025) — The astounding scene that unfolded in the Oval Office Friday gave the world the ultimate Trumpian moment. President Donald Trump brought Volodymyr Zelensky down about 18 pegs in front of the world press, and it was all Zelensky’s doing. […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEENEND EDITION FEB. 28-March 2, 2025) — The situation in Ukraine has taken a drastic shift. THE PLANET applauds the change. First, the Trump Administration has entered into direct talks with Russia. Trump’s style to problems of policy and execution is direct-line communication […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTR$ESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION FEB. 21-3, 2025) — When Mayor Lumpy and city treasurer Kufflinks Kerwood soft-shoed their preliminary remarks on Bitchfield’s finances, they claimed that during the most recent five years, the city tax rate had DECREASED 6.8%. The hilarious part of the joke […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION FEB. 14-6, 2025) — Hang on to your wallets. Both hands. The wannabes running the city have begun noodling on the budget, which has ballooned to $215 million and counting. You would probably join the Kapanskis and THE PLANET in thinking […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION FEB. 14-6, 2025) —THE PLANET welcomes you to the weekend by wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day. Remember, you can’t spell “Valentine” without “Valenti.” The happy news: Jumpin’ Joe Curtis has announced his resignation. Talk about rats leaving the sinking ship! […]
