BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY SEPT. 3, 2024) — THE PLANET has figured it out. The holograph pretending to be “Kamala Harris” isn’t her. It’s an actual person. The person posing as Kamala Harris is … … Scatman Crothers from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Separated at birth. Check […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION AUG. 30-SEPT. 1, 2024) — The comforting thing about Two-Pete Bitchfield is the security provided by the anomaly of certainties. It is certain that the riff-raff and scum who stagger into and out of Pancho’s in the 150 block of North […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY AUG. 26, 2024) — Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s endorsement of former President Donald Trump is a game changer. If the election can be kept reasonably clean and above board, a crucial contingency THE PLANET must mention, RFK’s support of Trump will flip key […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, AUG. 22, 2024) — If the election were held today, Kamala Harris would become 47th president of the United States of American’t. Left, Right, Center, and Extremes of the political spectrum can agree such a sentence would have been inconceivable earlier this year. […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY AUG. 19, 2024) — If you will be so kind, allow THE PLANET to harvest and issue a few modest predictions. [ED NOTE: For the thick heads in class, we use the word, “FEINT” instead of “expected” “FAINT” … yes, it’s intentional. The […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION, AUG. 16-8, 2024) — THE PLANET is always open to guest columns, and we have the honor of publishing this one. It is authored by former city councilor Charles Kronick, better known on THE PLANET and elsewhere as Sir Chaz. If […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY AUG. 14, 2024) — Recently canonized saint/taint Kamala Harris has had two major decisions that the voting public can use as a barometer for her Presidential fitness. The two decisions: Picking a running mate Deciding how she would campaign. She had done a […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY AUG. 7, 2024) — THE PLANET has cracked the biggest local mystery. We speak of why presumptive Democrat presidential nominee Kamala Harris would choose Botchfield, Mass., a.k.a. Bitchfield, Mass., for her first fundraiser. She raised $1.4 million. Donald Trump’s VP choice J. D. […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, JULY 31, 2024) — Kamala Harris. We think we’ll keep her. In 2020, she ran for president, spent $43 million on a campaign platform that consisted of calling Joe Biden a racist, and won ZERO delegates. Biden rewarded her with the VP slot because […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE WEST, WEDNESDAY JULY 24, 2024) — If THE PLANET told you a mere few days ago that (a) Donald Trump would be shot by a would-be assassin and (b) barely more than a week later, one of the two presidential candidates would have to […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JULY 17, 2024) — THE PLANET here, checking in from the high desert and giving our beloved readers another fresh slate for The Comment Line. Not much to add to the national discussion about the attempted assassination of Donald Trump. The Republican convention […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JULY 10, 2024) — THE PLANET back in town quickly for personal reasons and business, and we thought it would be the perfect time to refresh the screen and give our welcome commentators the continued opportunity for Free Speech. After all, THE PLANET […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JULY 1, 2024) — It’s that time. And what time might that be? Time for THE PLANET to head into the desert and solitude (sort-of!) for R&R&R–rest, recreation, and repast. Meanwhile, during the bacchanal, we shall leave the Comment Line open and in […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY ADD 1, SATURDAY MORNING — As reaction from the foreign press came in with respect to the Trump-Biden debate, one thing was clear: America’s present state and status under Biden has fallen to a stunning new low. THE PLANET shares this snippet from a story posted by […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JUNE 26, 2024) — It’s been called the most important presidential debate since Nixon-Kennedy in 1960, barely edging out when Rob Tuttle smeared the floor with Lew Markham. THE PLANET doesn’t fully buy the analogy, but there’s enough truth in it to be […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JUNE 24, 2024) — As you might guess, THE PLANET receives a bunch of private queries. Most we answer privately, but some are worth sharing. With that, let’s attack a mailbag’s quartet. By the way, the DEAR PLANET salutation is house style. The letters have […]
