BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, JAN. 14, 2016) — Tonight on PLANET VALENTI TELEVISION welcomes Pittsfield new mayor, The Lovely Linda Tyer. Tune in at 7 p.m., channel 16, for the grilling.

Yesterday, city councilor Chris Connell announced his bid to run for Pittsfield state representative, the seat is now held by Tricia Farley-Bouvier. Kettle calling the pot black or a sincere call for a sea change?

Today, as a follow up to yesterday’s column, THE PLANET presents this guest post from the website comedyhype.com.

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As Bill Cosby continues to face charges of sexual assault. We ask the question what if Cosby is innocent? Comedy Hype writer OsameBinJokin examines 5 things about the Cosby allegations that may prove his innocents.

Disclaimer: This piece does have several comedic elements to it. We are not looking to make light of serious charges such as rape.

1. JUSTICE OR $ — Rape is very serious, and when people actually do commit any form of sexual assault they should be punished to the full extent. Because the victim is traumatized from the whole situation. Bill Cosby’s wife, Camille Cosby, wrote “None of us will ever want to be in the position of attacking a victim, but the question should be asked- who is the victim?“ Right now I am feeling like Cosby is the victim, because in most rape situations the goal is justice and to have the rapist sentenced for the crime. But in this situation I feel as if some of these accusers are not going after justice. One of the accusers, I don’t want to say any names (cough Judy Huth cough), basically attempted to extort Cosby. She asked for several six-figure pay days to stay quiet about her allegations.

2. PLAYBOY — Several of these accusers lifestyles at the accused time made me not believe them. Now I’m not saying they are lying, but I am saying I don’t believe them. Many of the accusers were Playboy bunnies that Cosby met at the mansion. Now I don’t know about you all but I if I meet a girl half naked at the Playboy mansion we’re not about to sit there and talk about her career plans. I’d most likely use the words from the wise Lil Duval, “Wat Dat Mouf Do? No offense to any victims of rape but if you’re naked or half naked and are sexually assaulted, that is like being black or half black and getting followed by the police.

3. TAKING PILLS FROM A TV DOCTOR? ” — I know Bill Cosby played Dr. Huxtable on the TV show, The Cosby Show, but ladies and gentlemen he is not a real doctor. He’s has a doctorate in education but he is not an actual medical doctor. So I do not understand why so many accusers took pills from him for headaches, flu, etc. Just because Ice Cube plays a cops in a bunch of movies, you don’t see me calling him when someone says, “Call the police!“ I know the accusers parents gave them a talk growing up on that they shouldn’t just take pills from anybody. Guess now I know when raising my kids I have to add in “Don’t take medication from just anyone even if they played a great doctor on TV.

4. ACCUSATIONS DON’T ADD UP —A lot of these these accusations aren’t adding up. Janice Dickinson said that Bill Cosby gave her a glass of red wine and a pill what she believe to be for menstrual cramps. I have three problems with that statement. Let’s go with the obvious, now what the hell would Bill Cosby be doing running around with medication for menstrual cramps? For two, I don’t know about Cosby but most n***** I know aren’t wasting alcohol on a female who’s on her period because they know sex wouldn’t be on the menu. For three, she’s on her period. Now I know they say, “A period doesn’t stop anything but a sentence,” but at that time when Cosby was on top of the world, I’m pretty sure it stopped way more than a sentence. When I read that part of Dickinson’s accusations, the scene of The Cosby Show when Cliff was talking to Theo, and said, “Thats got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” came to my mind.

5. WHY NOW? — My question about this whole situation is, why now? If McDonald’s forgot to put the fries in my bag, I’m not going to wait till everyone is down talking McDonald’s for me to say something about them forgetting my fries. Like did someone accusing Bill Cosby remind you that he raped you, too? A couple accusers must’ve been just sitting there, then heard an accusation and thought to themselves, “Damn Cosby sholl did rape me back in 85, let me call CNN so I can pay rent this month.”

I don’t mean to belittle this situation but just like how those ladies thought he was a real doctor because of his TV show, well I thought he was really a great dad and role model because of The Cosby Show. I feel as if this whole situation is just another way to ruin another black legend’s career, so the media can strip away all what he has accomplished.”

Bill Cosby is innocent.

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“As they pull you out of the oxygen tent, you ask for the latest party.” — David Bowie, “Diamond Dogs,” from the album, Diamond Dogs, (1974).

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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