BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(ADD 3, 7-1-20 6:53 p.m.) — Massiamano died on Thursday June 25 at BMC. He then “resigned” from the Pittsfield Planning Board on June 26. No public word. Something extremely odd is going on there. THE PLANET personally informed Kevin Moran of the Eagle, to eliminate any excuse for them not to cover it. We shall be writing more on this for The Weekend Edition. Now that he is dead, perhaps some sources might be encouraged to come forward with what they know.

(ADD 2, 7-1-20 2:21 p.m.) — THE PLANET has confirmed the death of former Sheriff and local kingmaker Carmen Massimiano. We also heard that the funeral has already been conducted, though we haven’t confirmed that. If true, it would be extremely odd for such a public figure. There’s likely much more going on here. We are probing.

(ADD 1 7-1-20 1:54 p.m.) — THE PLANET has heard rumors and reports of Carmen Massimiano’s death. We have contacted a couple of sources who would have reason to know. They haven’t officially confirmed the information, but, based on what we know as of this moment, we believe the story to be true. Stay tuned.

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JULY 1, 2020) — “Your head is huming and it won’t go, in case you don’t know.” On the island, EVERYTHING is heady.

Thus spake Robert Plant, who wanted us to jot down a few random thoughts during this early July idyll … idle … idol.

• Reparations in the air? Reparations for what? For Whom? This nebulous and fictive deed asks that those who have never owned slaves hand over fortunes to those who have never been enslaved. Reparations? THE PLANET doesn’t think so.
• As in nev-vah, for where and with whom does it end? The logical outcome is would be to pay everyone for everything.
• BLM, ANTIFA, and those of similar ilk do not want equality. They want superiority. Not going to happen, at least as long as this is America.
• Or has it become Amerika? We, in the midst of this national upchuck, are finding out. We’ll know much more the morning of Nov. 4.
• THE PLANET‘s favorite example of irony, filed under “M” for “Most Recent,” is the BLM group who in their request for municipal permits to stage a “Defund the Police” rally …  asked for police to run security! Ka-lou-less.
• Best president of our lifetime? Dwight Eisenhower, general, statesman, outsider, golfer, and mensch. Ike had four portraits hanging in the Oval Office: Washington, Jefferson, Grant, and Lee. He recognized Robert E.’s greatness. Worst? Tie among The Final Four: Johnson and Ford, Obama and Bush Lite.
• What and Who is behind the foolish idea to use Taconic High School as a drive-in theater? Only $25 a carload? This raises a load of questions, none of which the city has answered. The school department and school committee refuse to comment.

• “Go home, folks. Nothing to see there.” Pittsfield’s new motto.
• Or how’s this for a new slogan: “DEFUND PUBLIC ‘EDUCATION.'” Style guide says the word “education” in all uses, on the bumper stickers and posters and the like, must be in quotes.
• Cut $17 million from the school department. Give $9 million to lower tax rates. Split the other $4 million between the police and fire departments.
• $17 million? Easy. Close two unneeded buildings, change the health insurance split from 85-15 to 55-45, and get ride of 1/3 of administrative positions. Savings? More than $20 million.
• Speaking of Spawtz Pt. I: Bill Belichick continues to show why he is the G.O.A.T., any sport. He signs a Heisman winner, No. 1 pick, MVP, and Super Bowl QB at a fire-sale price. His name is Cam Newton, an electrifying talent. Through the draft, Belichick didn’t move on a signal caller. He played up Stidham and Hoyer, big. He then waited three months through free agency, making no moves. When it became clear he wouldn’t be bidding against anyone else, he springs! Gets Cam at a team-friendly price, a fierce competitor who has a lot to prove.
• In Bill We Trust!
• Speaking of Spawtz Pt. II: What used to be called Major League Baseball, now known as “klownball,” continues to show its contempt for fans and for the game itself in going ahead with a counterfeit “season” in the midst of a pandemic. The rule changes, coupled with the watered down play, have made the game unrecognizable. Death to MLB, players and owners.
• How can Helen Moon and Dina Guiel-Lampiasi, both employed by the district attorney’s office, not be in a perpetual conflict of interest by also double-dipping on the city council? And by serving on the planning board, how is G-L not in double conflict?
• Saw the Pittsfield DPW weed-whacking the curbs on outer East Street, at the bridge before you get to the former softball complex. The untouched weeds looks much better than the mess made by this half-assed effort. In evidence: “Workers” who just don’t give a spit about anything but their paychecks.

• No oversight.
• No supervision.
• No accountability.
• On the 65th anniversary of the tragic death of Heisman winner and Red Sox star Harry “The Golden Greek” Agganis, THE PLANET talked with the best two-sport athlete ever to come out of Pittsfield, Chuck Garivaltis (said with a nod to Ray Wojtkowski and Mark Belanger). Chuck told the story of how Boston University pulled out all stops to get him to sign with its football team. The pitch included the QB  himself, Harry Agganis. As most of you know, Chuck went on to a great baseball-football career at Colgate then signed with the NY-SF Giants. He’s still the greatest pure hitter ever to come out of Berkshire County, and there were some great ones. He was and still is one of the greatest political figures in city history.
• Isn’t it great that Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski do not have to endure another Pittsfield Fourth of July parade?
• Isn’t is awful that The Kapanskis have to endure endless private fireworks each night?
• Isn’t the amount of gunfire being disguised by those same fireworks a source of wonder?

• Spent rounds are rivaling cigarette butts, needles, lottery tickets, condoms, and fast-food wrappers as the detritus of choice for the “armies of the night.”
• Helen Moon still has not apologized to Pittsfield police officer Darren Derby for the slam she laid on him during the recent budget hearings.

YOU SUPPLY THE CAPTION!

• Helen Moon still has not apologized to councilor Earl Persip for what Persip called a racist insult.
• Helen Moon still has not answered one request for comment sent her way by THE PLANET on vital city issues.
• Helen Moon acts the full part of the entitled millennial and does it brilliantly.
• Helen Moon has utter contempt for the average citizens not just in her ward (1) but also citywide. She has the stuff to be a great at-large councilor.
• Helen Moon still has not revealed who’s pulling her strings.
• Helen Moon splits infinitives.
• Helen Moon has not been seen recently near PPD headquarters.
• Helen Moon is in love with herself judging by her Facebook page.
  

  SHE IS A CITY COUNCILOR. SHE GETS TO VOTE. IN YOUR NAME. TELL US YOU’RE OK WItH THAT.

• Helen Moon did not have “The Walking Dead” working on her campaign. Actually, some were still living. Same is true with more than a few of her “chums.” They, too, are rumored to be alive.
• Scary, baby. Scary.
• Helen Moon wants to tear down the Civil War statue in Park Square. The dude is a white male, outfitted with a militaristic uniform, holding the American flag, took orders from U.S. Grant, is not depicted with any minority, and lived before Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation.
• Helen Moon is perpetually “offended.”
• NASA has not gone back to the moon since the mid-70s. Pittsfield went back to the Moon in November 2019. THE PLANET isn’t sure which one is the greatest mystery.

• When Helen Moon talks, Andrea Harrington cannot drink a glass of water.
• When Helen Moon doesn’t talk, Andrea Harrington hydrates.
• Helen Moon thinks a hack is a bad cough.
• Helen Moon says she was once a nurse. That’s her picture to the right, the B&W one. Selfie.
• Of course.
• Helen Moon does what, exactly, in the district attorney’s office?
• Helen Moon contributes what, exactly, during council deliberations?
• Helen Moon thinks Dante is a character from the Sopranos.
• Helen Moon think the Ninth Circle of Hell is an upscale, millennial, plant-based coffee shop.
• Helen Moon thinks “The Exorcist” is a yoga instructor.

• Helen Moon knows how much about The Popcorn Wagon? … O.B. Joyful? … The GE Consent Decreee? … for that matter, GE itself? … The Sheila boat? … Red’s Dairy Bar? … Pittsfield when it was a thriving city? … Jim Mooney? … Tommy Grieve? … Chuck Garivaltis? … the histories of Clapp and Deming parks? … Santa at England Brothers?
• Helen Moon has done what, exactly, to improve the dreadful state of affairs in Benigno Numine?
• Helen Moon [CHECK ONE] (    ) Does         (    ) Does not know the translation of Benigno Numine.
• Helen Moon thinks Benigno Numine stands for Black Lives Matter.

We have only just begun.

“Monkeys is da craziest peoples” — Lew Lehr.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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