BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JUNE 17, 2026 — Thoughts while finishing an assignment for the Marine combat training base, 29 Palms, Calif.

Teenth Us No Junes — Friday marks the sixth time the United States has observed June 19, Juneteenth, as a federal holiday.  The South, Texas primarily, observed with proper reserve and solemnity the day Texicans were informed of the Emancipation Proclamation.  Unfortunately the radical left co-opted this worthy date following the death of career thug George Floyd in 2020. Today, the day is about two things: Another “free” day off for public employees, courtesy of bedraggled taxpayers and (b) Identity Politics, which emphasizes racial divisions — the opposite of the day’s original meaning.

Too Legit to Quit — Bitchfield’s obscene $232 million budget has enough waste and fraud in it to fund one of its sister cities across the pond. Until city officials pays for an independent audit of city finances and all departments, one that proves dispersement and procuring of all funds to be honest and above board, there’s little reason for anyone to believe this budget is be legit.

‘Preservation’ — Just prior to the June 30 deadline and the end of FY26, the city opened the treasury to the tune of $474,098 in Community Pickpocket Act funding. For FY27, it allocated $524,697. The Community Preservation Act was the sneaky extra tax The Suits snuck in the back door, unobserved. The main “preservation” being done by the CPA is to preserve the oh-so-friendly ties among shady politicians, non-profits, and other “players.” Five will get you 10 that some official will point out that voters approved the CPA. When that happens, tell them to stuff it. The bastards only got it through after keeping it quiet until shortly before the vote, and them leading a disinformation campaign designed by city treasurer Kufflinks Kerwood.

Off the Kuff — Say what you want about Kufflinks, but he’s a survivor. He’s made his living at the public trough since forever, as a nominal “Republican” no less. Of course, Kufflinks is as Republican as Ketanji Brown Jackson … and a little whiter. THE PLANET has to admire such political instincts. Matthew, we tip our (tom) bowler to you.

Money, Money, Money — On Monday, THE PLANET talked about how money has wrecked professional sports. Hardly “Stop the presses!” news. In that vein, and with World Cup hype on afterburners, we note that this year, the top 10 soccer players in the world will earn 945 million, guaranteed. Now ain’t that a kick in the head.

Bryant Tour: On Aug. 8 beginning at 10 a.m., there will be a guided tour of poet William Cullen Bryant’s birthplace and summer home in Cummington. We advise checking it out. His Thanatopsis (Greek for “Meditation on Death”) is still a classic. He paid the bills with a small law practice in Great Barrington then in 1825 booked it to NYC to crack the literary world. Along with Pittsfield residents Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Oliver Wendell Holmes, and Herman Melville, Bryant is considered one of the key figures in the early literary history of America. Don’t be surprised if, when there, you bump into THE PLANET.

Protecting the Atlantic Coast — The Expeditionary Warfare Training Group at the 29 Palms Marine Corps base trains soldiers in the tactics and techniques of amphibious warfare. One of the most impressive units is the Training Support Vessel Squadron 4. It began as a single boat. Today, it’s a 70-person support ream that trains warfighters on the Atlantic Coast, including mine laying, recovery, and flight training. The complex logistics illustrate how the nature of combat readiness has changed, and it leaves an indelible impression on the observer.

About Face — On Melville Street, you may have heard about an altercation that resulted in a dude getting his face stabbed. Wonder if this is Downtown Pittsfield’s new cusp-of-summer promotion, a variation of face painting on First Fridays. Rumor has it that Mayor Lumpy wants Face Stabbing elevated to an official First Friday event. Lumpy told THE PLANET “It’s the next best thing to setting your face on fire and having it put out with an ice pick.” Who are we to disagree with the mayor? And keep telling yourself that it’s safe downtown, it’s safe downtown, it’s safe downtown.

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“Self-denial is pleasure’s greatest enhancer” — Sir Donald Turpentine, Knight of the Bath.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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