BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JUNE 25, 2018) — Finding patches of scribbles in THE PLANET‘s notebook, we look to make another quilt.

Hasta La Vista, Baby! — President Trump did the right thing by doing what he first said he could not do when he signed an executive order to prevent children being separated from their parents when trying to illegally enter the country. We congratulate the President and all those who protested for such an action. That being said, we must say that under a 1997 directive (Bill Clinton) and a 2008 White House order (Barack Obama), the Justice Department only followed the “Zero Tolerance” directive installed by Democrats. Actually, the policy finds justification in the absolute necessity to protect this nation’s borders as much as humanly possible. America has always welcomed immigrants. We still do. That’s why we have a process that allows people’s from other countries to obtain citizenship. Follow the law, become productive, and America welcomes you with opened arms. Sneak in illegally, often for nefarious purposes, however, and we should bust you. M-13, anyone? And we ask, what is more “inhumane?” A country following its laws to protect its citizens, or criminals sneaking in illegally, using children as human shields? THE PLANET asks what kind of parent breaks the law in this manner and drags the children into such a nightmare?

A Place for a Pest — Craig Gaetani has all the subtlety of a mechanical tunnel-machine boring holes in mountains. That bothers some but not THE PLANET. Democracy needs citizens like that to help keep public officials in place and to act as safeguards of public institutions. Gaetani goes where few citizens dare in a town that loves to punish those who “get out of line.” Typically, in a city where there’s up-and-up, that job falls to the independent aggressions of a free press. In Pittsfield, there is no free press or investigative journalism beyond this website. For that, citizens need a trumpeting local daily holding officials’ “feets to da fire.” We don’t have that. We have The Boring Broadsheet, a rag so compromised that it doesn’t care for its reputation or even seem to know that it is a newspaper protected by the First Amendment. Gaetani’s appearances at public meetings itch the heck out of the politicians (both in and of office), giving them rashes beyond the tending of Absorbine Jr. Bravo, we say, because isn’t that the point?

I Don’t Care. Do U? — When FLOTUS Melania Trump wore a coat with that message, social media lit up as “lit” as one of Lach’s “clientele” staggering out at closing time. People divined for the deep and hidden meanings for the mysterious phrase. Trump haters took it one way. Trump supporters took it the other. THE PLANET actually thought the jacket was the coolest thing a first lady had done since Jackie Kennedy got up on any morning from January 1960 to Nov. 22, 1963 or Betty Ford swigged down a liter of Popov vodka. Melania rocked the coat, which had shabby-sheik written all over it. When you’re Melania or Giselle, anything you wear becomes a Statement. What are the odds that similar jackets become as hot as French fries in a boardwalk greaser.

Old Woman Rover$, She Just Keeps Rolling — We still can’t figure how Donna Tidd Rover$ musters the courage — wait, it can’t be courage in a pol so easily bought. … musters the nerve to assume any kid of public stance, make any kind of public appearance, or dare to take her seat on the city council after news broke of her shameless sell-out. In April, The Suits set her up with a no-work “job” at nearly $100,000 a year (counting bennies) in what had to be the purchase of her vote on the sewer upgrade. There’s no other explanation that makes as much sense. This move will cost over-taxed citizens in debt-ridden Pittsfield an additional $80 million, and that doesn’t include the financing of the new debt. Peter Marchetti, Adam Hinds, and Matt Kerwood have their fingerprints all over the murder weapon. Linda Tyer has the perfect alibi. She’s not mayor. She’s a cheerleader.

And with that, our good friends, have a great one, whatever “one” may be. Back on Wednesday.

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“All right men, line up alphabetically according to height” — The Ol’ Perfessor Casey Stengel, on the first day of spring training, to the expansion New York Mets, 1962.

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

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