TWO ITEMS: IT’S SCANLON (AS IF IT COULD BE ANYONE ELSE) … and … GOODBYE, HIGHLAND
BY DAN VALENTI
PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY
(SUMMER FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY AUG. 3, 2026) — On the island, life moves at island pace, especially when it’s private!
THE PLANET, though, even when on an idyll, will have spies sending encrypted information via Enigma, hence our comments to start this first full week of august August.
We share two items.
(1) IT’S SCANLON
The first tells you that when THE PLANET makes a prediction using definitive language, you can trust it. Not long ago, when Lumpy, Dumpster, Voltron, and Kufflinks put together a shaved deck in announcing an “audit” for Bitchfield, they said two firms submitted bids. One was Scanlon company. Scanlon’s adding machines have been “auditing” Bitchfield’s cooked books since Peter Arlos was knee high to P.J. Moore. The other company … well, it doesn’t matter. They NEVER figured into this.
If you recall, we said FOR CERTAIN, that it would be Scanlon.
Guess what? After much hand-wringing, anguish, and soul searching, the zombies did the masters’ bidding, and the selection committee chose …
Scanlon!
As Gomer Plye would say, “Surprise, surprise, surprise.”
THE PLANET gave you the names of the ad hoc committee assembled to select the winner. That told you everything you needed to know. From the start, Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski were dragged to the table in a rigged game.
(2) HIGHLAND, WE HARDLY KNEW YE
Short and sweet: After 90 years in business, The Highland Restaurant on Fenn Street will close for good before the end of this month. So many memories to be vanished and vanquished.
Nothing more to say about that for now. We’d much rather hear from our readership what we should make of this news. Tell us what you think.
And now, the sea maidens beckon, and we must ascent to the siren calls.
——————————————–
“Work your fingers to the bone. What’dya get? Boney fingers” — Hoyt Axton.
“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE”
LOVE TO ALL.
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Predictable Pittsfield politics chose Scanlon to audit Kufflink’s cooked books for the next 3 years.
The fictional Kapanski’s are hoping it won’t lead to a Proposition 2.5 override(s) because Earl and the 2-Pete’s Pittsfield politics pounds, pummels, pulverizes, punishes people’s purses.
Pittsfield politics avoids a Forensic Audit more than it avoids cutting city spending levels. Instead, it is Scanlon and record-breaking operating budgets.
everyone should have voted for Jon Krol like I told them to. He is a real leader and an extremely good looking man unlike the buffoon now.
Where did this info come from? Did not see it in the local. Not sure they cover stuff like that anyway but do wonder if they have an opinion on it as to a good or bad thing.
So we will go on not knowing who all the fine folk getting lucrative tax breaks are or go over all those who got juicy sums of Covid cash or how much botanical vendors drain from the city coffers or a more accurate projected costs on the Waconah ballpark/entertainment venue have risen to.
Aww shucks and darnit. Can we at least see exactly what Scanlon does and does NOT do so we can see if it is even worth doing? If it provides any real information on whether there could be better spending practices or if there are any areas that might be cut?
NO?
Awww shucks. and darnit anyway
but at least we saved a few bucks and do not have to worry about some other nosy auditor poking his nose around
Here is the news story:
https://www.iberkshires.com/story/83464/Pittsfield-Committee-Recommends-Scanlon-for-City-Audit.html
Pittsfield (Massachusetts) has the 2nd highest Commercial Tax Rate in Massachusetts; Holyoke is 1st.
Pittsfield’s Residential Tax Rate and Fees are substantially higher than its peer small cities. To illustrate, Pittsfield ALWAYS spends tens of millions of dollars per fiscal year MORE than Westfield and Fitchburg alike.
Pittsfield’s fiscal year 2027 operating budget is close to one-quarter-of-one-BILLION-dollars.
Pittsfield’s spending is excessive. Its operating budgets are ALWAYS record-breaking.
Pittsfield’s next fiscal year operating budget will need a Proposition 2.5 override(s) to maintain its annual spending increases.
BUT, but, but…2027 is a municipal ELECTION year, which means that Earl and the 2-Pete’s Pittsfield politics will get pounded, pummeled, pulverized, punished at the polls if they want to continue pounding, pummeling, pulverizing, punishing people’s purses.
lol
Wasn’t a reach to bet on , the perpetrator to investigate himself.
Seems a pattern, practice or custom , of the guards watching the guards….
Timmy the fixer, investigating his own cops….
Jimmy’s , Delgalos , Debbie Wong , Bonanza all good restaurants, which closed.
My guess would be Shity of Shitsfield, taxed them out of business, so muscular Italians can buy cheap, get grants and tax deferements , and then rent pricey.
Seems a pattern there too –
Moron Healey will be by to inspect/ collect her bribe- Timmy Murray mistake, won’t be repeating…
Which the Planet, chooses to omit.
Location, Location, Location.
Odds Shitsfield police department is tenant? Dan wanna wager on this too?
8/3/26@8am
Tom
Iran will not make any deals involving US – Israel. Trump financial Markets know this and he’s loving it. They’ve all made a Kings Ransome.
Dan. The lame bird has two stories on a roll over crash in Monterrey and an accident on the hairpin turn. Last week there was a horrific roll over crash Onota at Columbus. Haven’t seen a thing. People were taking pictures surprised it isn’t online. If I see it how can it be sent to you?
What were the amounts for the audit? Kalinowsky and Warren voted for Scanlon? Where was Procopio?
Why is it taking so long to impeach this President again. He’s clearly using his pulpit for his own financial gain. And aren’t you as clowns on here sick of his economy lies. Fact. Gas is up. Food up. Everything is up.
At this point I am pretty sure we are all living in a cartoon. When I was a kid, I watched a lot of cartoons and not too many of them were as bizarre as what America has become today. Almost positive I saw Bugs Bunny looking out of a window at city hall this morning. (yah, the one in the right lower corner) And when I went out the back door I swear it was Elmer Fudd parking a city vehicle in the privileged lot. It was either him or Morlaes.
Where is our d rat contingent on this? Markey? Neal ? Warren?
Just saw a homeless person relieving himself in front of Stephen Valentine’s store.
Probably got overcharged for his tux.
Do you really think Irannis going to sign an agreement thatvgives them an arsenal of a few ballistic misses? Do you realky think Iran trusts Trump? Trusts Israel. Get the fuck out Mr, President. Stop fueling your bank account. People aren’t stupid. Just on here.
This is Irans 15 last chance of the 14 tenth turn downs. Way to go Thief.
Stories floating by high level world economists of a worldwide depression and it was brought on by someone who went crazy with tariffs, wars and bullying. Sadly, America may be the last to ever recover as it is now loathed worldwide thanks to the assclown regime in what is left of the Whitehouse.
The Long, Comical Poem of Mayor Lumpy, Bowtie Dumbwood, and Tom Slippery ScalesIn the topsy‑turvy town of Bitchfield, where logic rarely stays,
Mayor Lumpy rose each morning to invent new fiscal ways.
His hair was always sideways, his tie forever twisted wrong,
And his speeches sounded like a goose attempting to sing a song.But one fine day disaster struck—the city’s books went boom,
Exploding ink and numbers that filled the council room.
The ledgers curled like frightened cats, receipts began to hiss,
And Lumpy cried, “We need an audit! Something here’s amiss!”He summoned Treasurer Bowtie Dumbwood, sly as a raccoon thief,
A man whose bowtie drooped with guilt and moral disbelief.
“Bowtie,” Lumpy thundered, “Hire someone honest, sharp, and new!
A fresh auditor to fix these books before we’re all screwed through!”Bowtie nodded gravely—his version of deceit—
Then shuffled off to choose someone who’d keep things nice and neat.
But Bowtie’s definition of “new” was twisted, bent, and stale…
For he hired Tom Slippery Scales, the same old audit fail.Tom arrived with coffee stains and a calculator missing keys,
A briefcase full of coupons and a chronic tendency to wheeze.
“Gentlemen,” Tom announced, “I’ve audited this town for years.
I’ll audit it again today—no need for panic, tears, or fears.”The townsfolk groaned in agony, “Not him again, oh no!”
But Bowtie smiled his crooked smile, whispering, “Trust me—he’s a pro.”
Tom opened up the burning books, coughed once, then declared,
“These numbers look fantastic!” though he hadn’t even cared.Page twelve burst into flames; page nine tried to flee the scene.
Page twenty sprouted legs and ran straight toward the canteen.
Yet Tom insisted, “Perfect work! The math is clean and tight!”
While Bowtie nodded proudly like he’d done something right.Mayor Lumpy strutted forward, chest puffed like a rooster king,
Announcing, “Bitchfield’s budget is restored! Let the church bells ring!”
But the townsfolk muttered angrily, “This audit is a sham.
Tom Slippery Scales couldn’t count a single pound of ham.”Soon chaos ruled the city:
The fountain spit out IOUs instead of water flow,
The library charged late fees for returning books too slow,
The fire department hoses sprayed confetti in the air,
And the tax office fined residents for “breathing local air.”Lumpy called a meeting, Bowtie brought a fresh bowtie (still askew),
Tom arrived with jelly donuts and declared, “I’ll audit something new!”
But when Tom opened the ledger, a monstrous creature burst—
A Ledger Beast of numbers, debts, and overdue fees cursed.It roared, “YOUR ACCOUNTING IS A CRIME AGAINST ALL MATH!”
Tom fainted instantly; Bowtie nearly lost his path.
Lumpy tried to bribe the beast with snacks and soda pop,
But the creature snarled, “Hire someone competent—or I’ll never stop!”Just then Mildred from the library stepped forth with quiet grace,
Adjusted her glasses, cracked her knuckles, took her place.
She balanced every ledger page in fourteen minutes flat,
The Ledger Beast bowed deeply, then vanished with a splat.Tom woke up confused, Bowtie claimed he saved the day,
Lumpy declared victory in his usual clueless way.
And Bitchfield cheered, relieved at last the crisis had been tamed—
Though everyone agreed the town’s leaders should be retrained.Still, Bowtie hires Tom each year, Lumpy signs off with pride,
And the townsfolk brace for chaos every fiscal season’s tide.
For in Bitchfield’s strange government, one truth forever prevails—
When Bowtie picks an auditor, Tom Slippery Scales never fails…
To fail.
August 03, 2026
Re; An Ode to Matt Kerwood’s Creative Accounting and Tom Scanlon’s Audits
Who cooked the books?
It was Kufflink’s and the city’s other insider crooks.
Who made the Kapanski’s feel financial pain?
The answer was found at the end of Earl and the 2-Pete’s luxury lane.
What did Scanlon’s financial audit state?
The city’s creative accounting is always a matter of fate.
What did the small businesses do?
North Street’s 15 to 25 empty storefronts are nothing new.
Who will save Pittsfield from financial doom?
Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Jon Melle the have-NOT, and Tricia Country Buffet’s Witch’s Broom.
What will it take to turn Pittsfield’s always growing WORSE and WORSE fiscal tide?
A REAL Forensic Audit and substantial spending cuts instead of next fiscal year’s predicted Proposition 2.5 override.
Jon Melle
Classic!
August 03, 2026
Hello blogger Dan Valenti,
Local taxpayers in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, are feeling their wallets drained primarily due to a $243.2 million fiscal year 2027 city budget that heavily relies on increasing property valuations, skyrocketing municipal fixed costs, and structural funding imbalances.
While city officials attempt to mitigate the impact using “free cash” reserves, continuous operational spending increases have created an expensive environment and financial hardships for local residents, especially for Senior Citizens on fixed-incomes and others like them in similar situations.
Over the past 4 years (2022 – 2026), property values have increased by over 40-percent in Pittsfield, which caused a surge in assessments and property tax bills.
The Mayor and City Council are unable to control the rising fixed costs that always leads to record-breaking city spending.
Pittsfield’s structural problems is that it is “property-poor” on the commercial side. Pittsfield is also losing population numbers. Limited commercial growth leads to higher residential tax rates and fees.
Pittsfield’s discretionary spending is questionable given the severe financial constraints that the city and taxpayers alike are facing in fiscal year 2027.
Illustrations of Pittsfield’s discretionary spending that is questionable includes tax breaks and other so-called incentives given to millionaires (who donate BIG campaign dollars to the insider, career politicians’ coffers); the 2024 pot permits settlements that saw the politically-connected millionaire owner of Berkshire Roots Andrea Francesco Nuciforo Junior – who lives in a $1 million mansion in Pittsfield’s elitist Gated Community – receive a city check in the amount of $341,000; the 6-figure, taxpayer-funded hidden legal report on the PHS alleged scandals and the related 6-figure NDA’s, the dozens upon dozens of 6-figure public pay plus perks (for life) city salaries that will cost millions of taxpayer dollars over the following decades, the city’s generous travel and expense accounts, the excessive Police budget with its costly shotspotter services; and so on.
When I took financial management classes many years ago, I learned that the way to control fixed costs is to lower them by finding ways to limit fixed costs, and then turning fixed costs into variable costs if it is possible to do so, and then limiting the variable costs because it is easier to limit variable costs than fixed costs, and then finding ways to eliminate variable costs if it is possible to do so.
Another way to lower fixed costs is to consolidate city programs and services. Build the economy of scale by combining administrative functions, and then you find ways to limit or eliminate inefficiencies in the municipal government.
Another way to lower costs on city taxpayers is to mandate that the 2026 Berkshire state legislative delegation – State Senator Paul Mark, and State Representatives John Barrett III, Tricia Farley-Bouvier, and Leigh Davis – fully fund state aid to local government. Massachusetts ranks low in funding state aid to local government by being the 39th of the 50 states in state aid funding to local government. State Aid to local government in Massachusetts is at a close to 20-year low. It would be like if one received a salary that did NOT increase with inflation over close to 20 years while everything else costs a lot more money.
Another way to lower city costs is for Pittsfield to have real economic growth instead of having the 2nd highest Commercial Tax Rate in Massachusetts; Holyoke is 1st.
In conclusion, the problem in Pittsfield politics is that NONE of the ABOVE is happening. Instead, the city government is ALWAYS spending tens of millions of dollars per fiscal year MORE than its peer small cities such as Westfield and Fitchburg. There are NO reforms being discussed. It is always, spend, spend, spend…. Earl and the 2-Pete’s Pittsfield politics pounds, pummels, pulverizes, punishes people’s purses.
Best wishes,
Jon Melle