Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section
Article

BATTLE OF THE BOARDS: LEAKED MEMOS SHINE LIGHT ON MESS AT AND OVER COMMUNITY ReSTART

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, JAN. 25, 2016) — Through our sources, THE PLANET has obtained recent internal memos regarding The Battles of the Boards. At stake: Control of Community ReStart, a “good will” agency that has lost sight of its mission to help those in need in favor […]

Read More
Article

PUKELEA: A NEWS ITEM FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE … THE COMMENT LINE IS OPEN

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEEKEND EDITION, JAN. 22-24, 2016) — Yesterday, we beat all local media in breaking the news of Mayor Linda Tyer‘s latest appointments — Matt Kerwood as finance director, Denis Guyer as buildings and maintenance main man, and Michael Taylor as personnel chief. Today, we […]

Read More
Article

FRANK SULLIVAN PASSES AWAY … SOX PITCHER, ROCKWELL MODEL: ‘HE DIDN’T BUY US A BEER, THOUGH’

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, JAN. 22, 2016) —  On Dec. 15, 1960, pitcher Frank Sullivan was involved the Biggest Trade in Baseball History when the Boston Red Sox sent him to the Philadelphia Phillies for Gene Conley. Why was it the biggest? Sullivan stood 6’7” tall, with […]

Read More
Article

INTRODUCING THE PITT$FIELD $CHOOL COMMITTEE!! (STOP US IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE)

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, JAN. 20, 2016) — For those new to Pittsfield — scammers, gang-bangers, drug dealers, and other assorted types who make up the city’s growth sector — we present this pictorial on and of the Pittsfield School Committee. You should know who these people are, […]

Read More
Article

THE MAN WAS GREAT, BUT MLK HOLIDAY IS LITTLE MORE THAN AN EXERCISE IN UNAFFORDABLE ECONOMIC SENTIMENTALISM

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, JAN. 19, 2016) — Welcome to MLK Day+1, the day after the day when governmental employees enjoy a paid day off while most of the Dreaded Private Sector (DPS) has to schlepp it into work. Counting federal, state, regional, and municipal, that’s 21,995,000 […]

Read More
Article

NUCLEA SHMOOKLEA, ONE ARMED ROBBERY DESERVES ANOTHER, THE LOVELY LINDA COMES OUT STRONG, & EXPOSO THE BOZO … plus … THE COMMENT LINE IS OPEN

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEEKEND EDITION, JAN. 15-17, 2016) — As we hit another weekend, THE PLANET, like the Buddah, sheds all worldly attachments. The Buddah did it by contemplation under George Washington’s cherry tree. We do it by (1) taping a guest spot on SCTV’s “For The Record” […]

Read More
Article

5 REASONS WHY BILL COSBY IS INNOCENT … or … ‘Wat Dat Mouf Do?’

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, JAN. 14, 2016) — Tonight on PLANET VALENTI TELEVISION welcomes Pittsfield new mayor, The Lovely Linda Tyer. Tune in at 7 p.m., channel 16, for the grilling. Yesterday, city councilor Chris Connell announced his bid to run for Pittsfield state representative, the seat is […]

Read More
Article

UNIVERSITY WRONG IN PULLING COSBY’S HONORARY DEGREE

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, JAN. 13, 2016) — It is political correctness run amok, and the most distressing part of it has to be the location, a university campus. Under America’s criminal justice system, the accused shall be considered innocent until proven otherwise in a court of law. […]

Read More
Article

SCAMMERS GET A FREE, $75,000 YEARLY RIDE ON BACKS OF MARY JANE AND JOE KAPANSKI

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, JAN. 12, 2016) — Welfare deadbeats, cheats, scammers, moochers, mo’fos, and other assorted free-loaders who have made Pittsfield their one-stop shopping center have it right: Why work for a living when you can pull down $75,000 a year in benefits for doing nothing? How […]

Read More
Article

BOARD UNANIMOUSLY OKs ZONING VIOLATIONS FOR THS SCHOOL PROJECT … or … THE FIX IS STILL IN

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, JAN. 11, 2016) — You were out celebrating Christmas. Then you were nursing your New Year’s hangover. That’s why you missed it. You didn’t notice when the Community Development Board (CPB) approved the site plan for the (pick one) $121 million … $150 million […]

Read More
Article

PITTSFIELD SCHOOL COMMITTEE DUMB AS DIRT, AGAIN … THIS TIME, IT’s ABOUT THE SKATE PARK

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, JAN. 7, 2015) — The three baseball diamonds at The Common have gone the way of Crazy Annie and Red the Drunk. In their place, paved walkways, rolling grass, water sprays, and pavilions, a $5 million waste of taxpayer money. So if they’re not […]

Read More
Article

HEAD SHOT: ‘CONCUSSION’ FINE AS FICTION, SCRAMBLED AS FACT

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, JAN. 6, 2016) — With the NFL playoffs looming, THE PLANET switches gears and head-butts you with this pertinent topic. As a film, Concussion works well, with solid acting, a decent narrative, and a plot centered on a timely topic.  As fact, however, […]

Read More
Article

THE LOVELY LINDA ‘DID NOT WALK INTO THIS CHAMBER ALONE,’ BUT IF SHE ACTUALLY MEANS WHAT SHE SAID IN SPEECH, THE SUITS WON’T LET HER WALK OUT THAT WAY.

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, JAN. 5, 2015) — You may have missed The Lovely Linda’s inaugural speech yesterday. No sweat. As a public service, THE PLANET presents our annotated version. Mayor Tyer began by quoting Judge James Baker, who in 1891, when Pittsfield became a city, wrote: “Pittsfield […]

Read More
Article

THINGS THAT WON’T HAPPEN TODAY ON INAUGURATION DAY

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, JAN. 4, 2016) — Here are a bunch of things THE PLANET predicts will not occur during the inauguration of The Lovely Linda Tyer (TLL) today at 10 a.m. in council chambers. Dan Bianchi will not break out in a chorus of “Do You […]

Read More
Article

PHUN WITH PHOTOS … HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!!!

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, YEAR’S-END EDITION, 2015) — To close out the year, THE PLANET has a little fun in store for you. Below are a series of photographs, each needing a caption. Try your hand at wit, stinging, zinging, and capturing in just a few words the […]

Read More
Article

10 EXECUTIVE ACTIONS THE NEW MAYOR SHOULD TAKE … plus … PLANET ISSUES DEBATE CHALLENGE

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, DEC. 30, 2015) — In a few short days, the new mayor, The Lovely Linda Tyer, shall take over. Here are 10 recommendations for TLLT from THE PLANET. 1. Order Sue Carmel to dress more professionally for city council meetings. The council chamber […]

Read More